Would you be angry if your Grandma visited your 2 kids with your ex and never saw them with you?

Question

I never really noticed it was happening until my ex started to tell me that my Grandma hates me. I used to be close to her before my divorce even though I thought she was a snob sometimes. I didn't know they had been talking and she was supporting him through our divorce (because I left him for domestic violence reasons). Also he was cheating on me with men and hitting me in front of the kids so I left but never told anyone why for the kids sake. (Who wants their kids to know their dad is bi-sexual?) When I got upset with my Grandma and finally told her why I left him she didn't believe me that he was gay and abusive so I called her a ***** and hung up. Am I wrong to be mad at her? Why should she see the kids with him when I have custody????

My Grandma only visits to talk to their dad in a corner alone, according to the boys. They are only doing it to make me angry and it worked. He talked so bad about me to the boys that the courts suspended his visitation (for one year now) until he undergoes counseling (which he hasn't) and the boys haven't seen either him or her in over a year. He was mentally abusing them and she was a part of it. I will never talk to her again.

Answer 1

You are not wrong..
Grandma & EX deserve each other..
Stay away from both of them..

Answer 2

I sounds like a mixed blessing that grandma visits the kids with your ex-husband. The positive side is that your ex will behave himself in front of grandma for risk of losing her financial and emotional support. This doesn't mean your grandma isn't an a$$hole. You can always tell her how you feel and let her know you have a say in what nursing home she should go to when the time comes.

The good news is you are out of an abusive relationship and you have your children. Live your life and when you are ready find a man that will stand by you. Your grandma may never change, but you have moved on.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Calm down. You were shafted. We all are at some point in our lives. If you don't let it get you down, you'll be a lot happier.
Now, let me say that you are in one of the most destructive family dynamics there is, and you WILL continue to feel used and abused because you ARE! There's not a lot you can do about it either, except move to another state with the kids, remarry and have your new husband adopt the kids. Which may not be possible, or be very difficult.
Life has been terribly unfair to you. Remember though, that our challenges either build character, of reveal it. So grow some cajones and deal with it and quit being a victim. Best of luck.

And sorry, but more bad news--your crappy grandmother has every right to see her grand kids until the court says she doesn't. And from what you're saying, they will go to great lengths to undermine you. So you are messed over again!

Answer 4

That's a touchy subject. I realize that she is an individual and can pick and choose who she is friends with, but I would be hurt too, if my grandmother didn't believe me too. Don't turn your back on your grandmother. Just explain to her what is bothering you. Try not to call her names or yell that'll only put her on the defensive. Good luck.

Answer 5

call the court and the cops she has no right to do that and what kind of grandma is she not to believe you but to believe him off all the people you don;t need her if she not trust you

Answer 6

You're in the right here.....they're in the wrong! You're NOT wrong to be mad at her, but just try to let it go. I know it's hard to do, but right will ALWAYS prevail, in the long run.

Answer 7

i guess your doing the right thing... i would be mad if my girl was a lez and my grams take her side ... i would have left some where else. but that just me