Temper control techniques?????

Question

i wouldnt say that i get mad about "nothing"....but i do tend to yell alot or in other words get frustrated very easily...i have been hurt emotionally since i was younger...my mother married a man who showed us nothing but anger, sarcasm, and abuse (mostly verbal)...i see his actions within my self mainly anger wise...i am currently dating a man for 5 years roughly, and i get mad and take it out on him.,,,in general i am not a happy person! i am always walking around angry...i need to know how i can change this outlook on life or just stop myself before i blow up on people,,,i need some techniques...help!!!!!!! please.....

Answer 1

baby girl, it's not an easy thing to do. there is no quick fixed to anger problem. here is what i suggest. before you reach that boiling point, take a walk by yourself. just to clear your head. find an anger outing. like join a gym, take it out in your workout routine. once you're some-what calm, think about meditation; it will help you see yourself better. i'm glad to know that your bf can withstand your anger problem. but for now, take yourself out of a situation before the boiling point. (it's just not fair to the people around you).

Answer 2

It would depend on how you are able to control your anger. I wouldn't even really call it anger, but high anxiety. We all have that. Some people are just better at supressing it than others. Or others found good ways to escape it. My advice to you is to try and find a good outlet the next time you have the anxiety attacks(which causes anger). If you are not mad behind the wheel, go for a drive and listen to music while you are at it. By yourself. It doesn't matter where, because all you really need is an escape. And seeing how you are a female, you should try and get into yoga. Females love that stuff. Plus they teach you how to manage stress. Or possibly escape it. And I bet you will stop smoking after you take a couple of yoga classes(I read your other question). All you need is a "correct" outlet that suits you personally. Once you find it, your happiness will be channeled there and hopefully you will follow and leave stress behind. Bye luv!

Answer 3

Find the true source of your inner anger (maybe your step-father?) and confront him in a civil manner. The man you care about will not put up with verbal abuse forever, but you are abusing him because he is probably less threatening than facing the abusive man you knew since childhood.

Seek therapy to work through the anger and learn techniques to neutralize the acting out. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry, but you are accountable for your actions.

You have taken the first step in recognizing you have a problem which is great, seek therapy to help you through.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Similar background..

Take a walk, walk away.. say something outrageously nice or funny in that moment even if you do not want to.

Take a 2 week vacation alone to see what it is like when they leave you.

Ok.. now a little deeper. Get counseling, take a voluntary class with an anger management group.

Watch the movie anger management and laugh at yourself.

Seek God, pray... start taking care of YOU, you are loved and worth it.

Answer 5

It is very hard to deal with this.

Try to relax as much as possible.
Take a step back and view the situation through the eyes of others.
Work out what you are going to yell BEFORE you yell it (for some reason, you always sound like an idiot if you do this and then you don't yell.......as much)
Ask yourself if it is worth yelling about.
Find something that calms you (for me, Metallica at top volume is like prozac).
breathe.

finally go to anger management counceling. You owe it to yourself to be a better person.

Answer 6

Based on your history, you probably have a poor image of yourself and resort to bringing others down to make you feel secure about it. It is subconcious. But you need to see the wonderful person inside you and realize all that crap from you childhood is not true. Trusting and letting your bf into your thoughts and feelings, and having him reassure you of how great you are of a person.

Basically, a person that things good things about who they are doesn't judge themself on bad things that happen in their life and can realize those things don't make them who they are. Therefor there is no reason to lash out at anyone.

IF you really think it is a problem, talk to a LCSW or a therapist. They can do wonders.

Answer 7

No real techniques, you might just need to see a doctor. You probably have high blood pressure and they can give you a pill that will relax you. It will calm you down enough to be able to deal with everything rationally. It is our natural tendancy to lash out at the people who loves us the most because, we know they will still love us, no matter what, after we are finished venting.

Answer 8

I went to an emotional control therapy for a few weeks and man I have never been the same. It taught me how to breathe(i know that sounds stupid, but there is a proper way) and how to recognize how our brains take thoughts and twist it all up and draw false conclusions...which in turn makes us act irrationally. Talk to your doctor, books on cognitive therapy can help, don't be scared to get help...do it for yourself and your children(or future children)

Answer 9

I was like that cuz' my father. now i am nuch calmer. Two things have helped me. One is that if i am yelling or whatever I try to think is this how I would like to be treated. Mostly I think about how I felt when my father treated my that way.. And two is that someone once told me, That you shouldn't get frustrated if the real world outside doesn't conform to expectation of the world inside you.

Answer 10

It's good that you are trying, but if you can't stop yourself from acting irrationally and taking frustration out on innocent people that you (a) have a major problem, (b) need to be in couselling, and (c) need to be heavily medicated.

I hope your BF realizes what he's stuck with and runs like hell.