I have been bestfriends with (Jeff) since freshman year. And ever since i've known him hes always been very feminine. We are now seniors and everyone in the school KNOWS he is GAY....except him. Everyone is positive he is.....he even tells me when he thinks guys are hott....but he still denies that he is gay. its so frustrating because if he just came out everyone would be so supportive and our school wouldn't be talking about him behind his back.
2007-01-11 04:33:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
well, when hes ready to come out he will, on his time.
its not very easy to come out , because you don't know if people are going to still like you for who you are and that are not going to judge you, if you are his best friends with him(Jeff) like you say. you need to be there for him, hold his hand so to speak,
teens a very heard to deal with it, but it will get better!
JUST BE THERE FOR HIM =)
you have plenty of time for him,
2007-01-11 04:42:36 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He may not be able to even realize it due to the environment in which he lives. Not everyone is raised in a non-judgmental setting. I have known of cases where gay people have had such repressive upbringings, they couldn't even begin to fathom the thought. If his family is highly religious, for instance, it may be too great an "abomination" for him to imagine- to the point where he literally cannot recognize his gayness for what it is. Plus, he may have real concerns about the other students. People sometimes do 360's when they find out someone they know is gay.
2007-01-11 04:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have grown up with a guy that we all thought was gay because of the way he acted so we labeled him that. As teenagers we did not know better. He was not gay. He is a happily married man with 3 children. I also graduated with a guy that is now gay and as a teenager we had no clue. Just let the Young Man be who he is and do not try to make him into something you think he may be. That is his decision.
2007-01-11 05:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by krizma 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame you and anyone is wanted to make him be something he is either not or unsure of. People need to come to terms with their sexuality on their own terms (gay or straight). Additionally, just because someone has stereotypical gay characteristics (like they are effeminate) doesn't mean they are gay per se. Being "gay" is not external, at least not alone.
2007-01-11 05:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by straightup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All things in good time my dear. Forcing the issue will only force him deeper into denial. Just let him be however he is and when he takes the big step of coming out, be a kind and supportive friend.
2007-01-11 05:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it is hard, but ignore the talk.
The reality is that if he is gay, he needs to process it and come out in his own time. You've shared your opinion on the subject with him already, and now it would be best to drop it.
Sometimes being a best friend is about knowing when NOT to say something!
2007-01-11 04:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by knightofsappho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because everybody THINKS he is gay doesn't mean that he IS gay. All you can do is let him know that you don't dislike gay people and that you wouldn't mind having a gay friend. That way, he would feel comfortable telling you he was gay (if he really is).
2007-01-11 12:33:18 · answer #7 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may not be.
There was a guy I worked with that was extremely effeminate but very heterosexual. Same type situation.
2007-01-11 04:37:47 · answer #8 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tlk to him maybe he thinks you will be judgemental make sure that you let him know without telling him that you are supportive of any and everything that he want to do or say or be.
2007-01-11 04:38:59 · answer #9 · answered by *Dat*-*Libra*-*Cutie* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just wait. He will come around as soon as he is ready.
2007-01-11 04:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by winterstorm23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋