If the fantasy that drives us blinds up to the value of what is real and possible, we're doubly lost: neither perfect nor able to gracefully "be" ourselves. We abide in the famous zone dubbed by Freud as "neurotic misery".
Is the impulse to be better ultimatly the toxin that destroys relationships?
Are we being uphappy because we cannot be who we want to be instead of accepting who we are?
Is having a dream ultimatly the dagger to the heart?
2007-01-11 04:21:15 · 3 answers · asked by Blunt 7 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Thank you for your thoughtful answers. What I refer to is if the dream of having the perfect relationship, the perfect house, the perfect child ultimatly destroys the beauty of cotidianity because frustration over not having everything as perfects as we have envisiones makes us neurotic, hiper-critical and ultimatly... alone.
2007-01-11 04:47:18 · update #1
Well I'm not quite sure what you're talking about. You seem like an intelligent young person, but it would help if you were more specific. If you're looking for the "perfect" mate, indeed you'll never find him/her. This can be a way to avoid intimacy. "I'd like to date that girl, but she has a wart on her little finger."
If you're trying to learn self-acceptance, that indeed is a long row to hoe. There's a chapter in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous called "Acceptance is the Answer," and it's about this very thing. Accepting ourselves and the world the way it is brings us to a point of being grateful and able to work from what is. If you have time to read the story below, I hope you will have an idea of where to look for peace.
2007-01-11 04:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by rcpeabody1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the impulse to be better ultimatly the toxin that destroys relationships?
It depends on what we choose as an "improvement" for ourselves...sometimes what we choose although we feel it is an improvement may in fact be destructive to who we ultimately want to be...
Are we being uphappy because we cannot be who we want to be instead of accepting who we are? not necessarily ...some are happy in the constant struggle to improve while others are content being who they are...
Is having a dream ultimatly the dagger to the heart? if you are dreaming the wrong dream...ultimately ,yes....
2007-01-11 04:30:46 · answer #2 · answered by Amy B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A book that may help you is Heal the Hurts That Sabotage Your Life. The link is below. Also, the articles on that website are great for your situation. Another discovery, that happiness is not in people and things--it is inside of us--can free us.
2007-01-11 04:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋