My wife and I have been married for 15 years. We got married right out of H.S. and have two kids that are 12 and 14. I have worked all this time to put her through college and now she has a nice job. She has recently started comunicating with a buisness asocitate (who is also married) quite a bit. She goes over to their house every few weeks now to spend the night. Maybe I'm thinking the worst here but I feel weird because she spends quite a bit of time chatting, texting, and talking with this guy. Is there a chance somethings happening there, either with this guy and or his wife? Or am I just jumping to conclusions and need to just trust her more?
2007-01-11 04:16:46 · 73 answers · asked by daremn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have confronted her and she asures me that they are just close friends.
2007-01-11 04:22:09 · update #1
The reason she stays the night is because they live 3 hours away from us. I have asked her about cheating on me and she says she has never. I asked her about meeting these people and she tells me that they don't want to meet me because I'm a jerk for thinking that they have something going on.
2007-01-11 04:29:18 · update #2
When some people get married at an early age and never have the opportunity to experience life, the curiosity and excitement of the unknown may often get the best of them. My husband of sixteen years was unfortunately one of those whose youth he regretted losing and cheated multiple times.
I do not believe that anyone else can tell you whether or not your wife is cheating I can say that there are more ways to cheat on a partner then just sexually IE. emotionally.
You need to put more information on here, You say they have recently started the communication and then you state your wife says they are just close friends. Newly made close friends with lots of communication and overnighters would be bothersome to me. Has she ever invited you to go with them? Does she shut you out of her interaction with them?
On a different note, do you still treat her with the love respect and romance as you did when you were younger or has life become a routine with little room for romance?
It sounds to me as though you had your children fairly quickly, when this occurs we get so caught up in the raising and the push to financial success or enrichment that we lose track of the essentials of keeping our relationships alive. Did you also advance yourself educationally or are you stuck in yesterdays career? Has your wife outgrown you?
I wish the best for you, but as I said previously only you can answer the "Question" anything else would be speculation. Remove your blinders and look at this woman you have been with for all these years and then tell us what YOU see.
Take Care
2007-01-11 04:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by tammy c 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This doesnt sound too good to me. Maybe we dont have all the details exactly.
Have you really been working 'all this time' for the last 15 years to put her thru college? 15 years is a long time to be in college isnt it? What kind of a 'nice' job did she get as a result of all that college?
Just trying to understand this relationship a little better without violin strings in the background.
Is this guy really working with her or is it someone she met on line and is having a little fling with. Why would she meet with a business associate at his home, wife or no wife, without you??
oh yeah.. the kids.. right.. 12 and 14..
why are you not along, we need to know. Have you met this guy and his wife? What do they do at his home, has she said? Why exactly are you out of the picture.. is she too good for you?
naaaaaa. don't trust her more.. get ot the bottom of the situation.. What is really going on? You have every right to wonder. absolutely. and asking her does not make you a jerk either. She is NOT telling it like it is!! No way!!
2007-01-11 04:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by fjäril 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd be worried. A married woman should respect you more and not spend the night at a guy's house. I'm sure she'd assume the same thing if you went and spent the night at a female co-worker's home. That's not fair at all. Especially, after putting her through college and having kids with her. She needs to be a little more family oriented and maybe you should confront her. Tell her that you don't like how close she's become with this guy and surely don't appreaciate the fact that she spends the night over there. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's cheating on you, but if she loved you like I'm sure she says she does, then you'd be the only man that she'd want to sleep with at night. Talk to her bro.
2007-01-11 04:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by baby_wrestler 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Eeek...I don't like the spending the night part. Have you noticed anything different about her lately...has she shown much more intrest in her appearance than she did before she met this guy? That's usually a big telling sign for both men and women....when they start acting like they're suddenly concerned with smelling good, looking good, dressing good, grooming better than they ever did before and all at once. Has she been cold or distant in the bedroom? Has she cut you off?
It's really not enough info to tell, but it's something I'd keep a close eye on if I were you.
2007-01-11 04:22:29 · answer #4 · answered by Rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say she is cheating on you and playing you for a fool with the information that you provided. The part about them not wanting to meet you because you are a jerk would draw to my attention. If she loves you she would never even want to talk to these people for saying that.She is dragging you through the dirt on this and I myself would hire someone to follow her. You should call her on her cell phone when she is with her friends and act like something is wrong hang up. This will make her call you back then look at the bill and see where it is that she is calling you from. Have you tried to contact this guys wife? I would check all the information that you have and you will find she thinks your too stupid and you believe her.
2007-01-11 04:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by dandls_99 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is spending the night yes I would think she is having an affair, it isn't normal for a woman who has been married 15 years to up and start spending the night with a business associate, who does that? I would never spend the night with a business associate.
Please don't take into consideration what Phil has to say, he is a bitter bitter person who can't get laid without paying.
2007-01-11 04:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her how you feel and ask her is there something going on. Just reading what you wrote, something suspicious is going on. What type of business is going on that she needs to spend the night over his house even if his wife is there. And how would she feel if you where spending the night over some business associate's home. That just something you don't do in a relationship.
2007-01-11 04:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by littlez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why does she spend the night there? To me that is a bit concerning, after all she is married to you and has kids, I don't believe that it is appropriate for her to sleep over at some man's place when she is not single. Also what does his wife say about this? At any rate, I would confront her about those sleep overs first...
2007-01-11 04:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does sound slightly suspicious... she goes over to their house and sleeps over? It doesn't sound that good... I could be completely wrong, so talk to her about it! Without sounding contradicting, mention that she's spending alot of time at the family's house, and maybe you could spend more time together? If she makes excuses and doesn't want to, then seriously sit down with her and confront her. The longer you leave it, the worse it will get. If she is cheating, it's not fair on your family or you. Sort it out, and get to know the truth. Good luck x
2007-01-11 04:29:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hell No, she is spending the Night! Uhhmm there is defenetly something wrong with that! Put an end to this! That is messed up! I think a married woman with a family shouldnt sleep anywhere besides her own home or a hotel when on vacation or maybe her own family but it ends right there! You have to do something, ask her to be included!
2007-01-11 04:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by $D*Da*Spoild*1$ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋