How can I leave my mean husband?

Question

I only work the weekends. I don't make much money. Up to my ears in debt and bills I cannot pay on my own. Have not had sex in years with my husband. He is always cruel to me and our 5 year old son. If I worked full time it would not hardly be enough to pay for daycare for my son. My husband is mean to us I want to leave him for good. I have tolerated years of abuse and cruelty. I deserve better and so does my son.

Answer 1

These are all grounds for a divorce and a good lawyer should be able to get you a nice alimony package.

Answer 2

My dad always said that a divorce is a nice thing if you can afford it. You have made a typical error that many women make -- marry, not finish school or have training, have a kid and think marriage is a lifelong meal ticket, trapping yourself in a situation of having no skill to sell, and therefore financially dependent on a guy, who you really no longer love, and in a marriage you wish you were not in. My mom always said:
1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry.
2. Never have children you cannot support by yourself
3. Always have a skill or education to support yourself, in a fashion you happen to like --- You will work sometime during your life --- get paid for it.
4. Have a secret stash of cash even if you know you will never need it.

You have two choices: 1. Get an attorney, divorce him now, hopefully you'll get some child support and alimony.
2. Stay, stash cash, go back to school, and get out in about 2-3 years. Those 2 or 3 years are going to pass anyway, so use them to your advantage. Seek some educational guidance at your local jr. college or university. And if you are college material, get that BA or BS. If not, train for a skill -- dental hygenist, electrician, (yup, women do this quite well) R.N. and other well paying jobs
.... secretarial stuff, receptionists etc. are really poorly paid.

Good luck, hon. Marriage should be fun, and nice, and loving, and when it isn't and you can't make it so, you have every right to plan to leave. If he will not agree to counseling (2 or 3 sessions might or might not help) then life is toooo precious to waste any more years.... You're probably a neat lady... you deserve a nice guy... we all do.

Answer 3

Sounds like you need to pick your son over your husband and leave.....your son will repeat this abuse if he lives with it and sees it. I left my husband with a son and 5 months pregnant with our daughter and never looked back. I was broke and never received any child support; I worked two jobs and did what I had to. I have been remarried now for 10 years and my children are so happy I can't imagine life without their father by choice, not by biology. When my husband adopted my kids he chose them and the love he shows them is more than their biologic dad could have ever given. Pray about it, but leave to open your life to someone who can love you and your son....

Answer 4

Well if you feel you deserve better go for it no one needs to be with someone that is cruel to them and your son does not need to be in a situation like that he may grow up an think that that's they way to treat people and as far as your debt you your going to have bills for the rest of your life I would suggest you go to a woman's shelter they are good with helping women and children in need.

Answer 5

Amazing what can happen when you choose yourself. Your son, as little as he is, is in some ways still an extension of you in your own mind, more than he will be later on (once my baby, always my baby, etc.). So, choosing him is still choosing yourself.
Go bankrupt, go to a shelter, like someone else suggested.
Oh, and hey, don't assume that it's only when your eyes are balcnk and blue and there's a scar right by your liver that these people take you in.
There's shelters, I believe, for victims of severe emotional abuse, too. So you go get what you need.
And it's only when you believe you deserve better that a man will respect you.
So if you want your son to respect you, and to respect women,
Get the hell out of there.
You can do it.

Answer 6

Just leave. It's that simple. Wait until he's out of the house, at work or something like that, take what you can and leave. Call a cab, if necessary. Don't worry about the bills. If you can't stay with relatives, call the women's shelter. They will take you and your son.

Don't drag your feet on this one. If you're that unhappy, leave.

Answer 7

I'd find an awesome divorce lawyer and leave him. Get that alimony and child support. =] It's no fair for him to treat you like that and not appreciate what he has. I'm sure there are plenty of men that would do his job better and be a father to your son, while taking care of you and loving you.

Answer 8

From the sounds of your paragraph note, the only thing that bothers me is the part where you wrote we haven't had sex in years...why for the life of me would you stay in a marriage when it has got that bad?

If you have decided now to move on...great, and it's not too late to rejuvinate what you lost in yourself.

You have been traumatized and that will have emoitonal scars that you must deal with. I'm all for you...get out and move on.

You need the Tatse...
http://www.garageband.com/artist/somethingsally

Answer 9

I would start by calling family and see if they can help by having you live with them till you can be on your own. If no family seek out friends. Women shelter is another opion. Sorry to hear about the mess you are in. I wish I could help more.

Answer 10

If you have relatives who could help you, then you should ask them for help with housing and money until you can find a full-time job and get divorced.

This is not something you can do well without any help from anyone.