It is normal to assume that a man cheats because his wife is difficult.....any other reasons?

Question

All of these I AM IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN questions are really making me think today.

I know that the other person is assuming (maybe because that is what they were told) that the wife is a *****, she doesn't love him, he doesn't love her, and that he simply is a jerk who cannot be faithful in the first place.

I know that it is alot easier to blame the one who is cheated on, but what are some of the REAL reasons?

I am not interested in the obvious, but the deeper reasons.

I am convinced that alot of it has to do with stress, guilt (over something stupid like money), failure in other areas of life.

Answer 1

simple, because he doesn't love his wife and he wants to be with someone else

Answer 2

Those are very true examples as well. Every person is different. Some men cheat because there just morons. But for the most part men and women who take it that far are really not happy with them selves.

Which I think is really a scary situation because when your married it's not about YOU anymore it's about the family you have, their are people that love you, and you have to be willing to work together with your spouse during these hard times especially if there are kids involved. People never realize this and start up affairs only to create a much worse environment for them selves. Sure you can run BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE! your issues will be lurking over your head. When a family/kids are involved it's a whole new ball game.

I would never blame the one who is cheated on NEVER! Sure it's easier for the CHEATER to blame the other but for the most part I don't care how awful the other person is to you. If you don't have the BRAINS enough to leave the relationship and you end up cheating your only making a bigger mess of things. Take responsibility for your actions. A cheater NEVER HAS TO CHEAT!

Answer 3

Men and women cheat. It's not as cut and dry as you would think in most cases. Much of the time it's an emotional need not being satisfied or fed for some reason. The "cheater" may not even be able to feel the emotional need not being fed, but reaches out to fill it just the same. Since most emotional needs have to do with the opposite sex, that's where the would be cheater becomes vulnerable. Of course sometimes the issue of course comes from with in, e.g. self esteem, confidence, and so forth, relationships still add into that. Most affairs are not "just for sex". Most are filling a hard to identify void. Pretty had to swallow I know, but life isn't so simple as to really believe that all cheaters cheat just to get off.

In the end there is still the same old "serial cheater". This cheater is the smallest percentage but does exist. They don't care and it is a personality disorder.

Answer 4

To read some of these answers makes me laugh, good lord allmighty you think that the therapysts don't cheat?

If that chic was my therapyst I would have slapped her and gladly do a weekend in the slammer for the pleasure.

People cheat because we live in the land and time of instant gratification, it is almost impossible in this day and age to come across some kind of opportunity to cheat.

Just look at the news and see how many Women Teachers lay in the sack with the younglings, now how sick is that?

Cheating is systemic to any relationship and yes even those prestine one's that people only get to pry into when the people wind up in court.

Just don't assume the man is the only one cheating is all I ask, there are plenty of women that cheat and it would appear that there are alot in the teaching profession as well.

:)

Answer 5

you know I dont think that a woman can drive a man to cheat but I do think that if she is really controlling or paranoid and you know wont let him do anything with out her in fear that he MIGHT cheat then I think once he can do something else it will be harder to resist the temptation.

The reasons you gave like the stress and money that has a lot to do with it..think of it this way, if your the man and your bringing home all the money and one day you cant pay a bill or you dont have money to buy food for your kids, then cheating could be a form a self gratification

as for all these women that say they are in love with a married man, its easy to fall for someone who is happy and a great guy because then you wish that was you he called his wife.
Or i guess it could be because some of these women try and try untill the man gives in.

I dont know
I hope that helped a little bit though

Answer 6

I would think that the deeper reason is confidence.
I would think that when a man has been in a relationship that has problems, he starts to loose his confidence. Men need to be strong and powerful if only within themselves.

When he cheats he is trying to rebuild that confidence. He is still powerful and wanted.

I think that men tell the girlfriend all the negatives of their wives because even stupid women would not stay with a man that is just using her as a confidence builder.

Answer 7

There are two sides to every relationship and the one that does the cheating tends to bend it to their favor. So, whoever takes that person on in a relationship wants to believe what will benefit them to carry on the cheating. It's not like they are going to the other party to ask if what they were told is true. The best thing to do is leave other people spouses alone and find a partner of your own.

Answer 8

You're only getting one side of the story.You don't know what he's put her through and only hear what he has to say. You have to ask yourself, "if he's cheating on her with me, will he cheat on me with someone else if we get into it"? Just because they're not getting along that not a reason to cheat. He should get out of the relationship if he wants to be with you. I think you are setting yourself up by being in love with someones husband. Actually, you may be the cause of their problems because, he knows he has you to fall back on like a plan B. Don't fall for that!

Answer 9

You are over-complicating a very simple answer: virtually all men who cheat are self-centered, immature manipulators who're only interested in getting intimate with strange flesh as often as they can. It's like a child's treasure hunt for them, and like the self-centered creeps they are, they don't care who they hurt in the process. When I encounter them in a clinical setting, I always tell their spouses that he isn't going to change and that she needs to seriously consider whether putting up with this abuse - and his cheating IS abuse - is how she wants to spend the rest of her life. Most of these mistreated wives eventually see the light and dump the creep. For those who hesitate, a reminder of their personal risk in these days of deadly STDs like AIDS usually convinces 'em, especially when I point out that if they become incapacitated because of a disease he brings home after a tumble in the hay with one of his bimbos, ain't gonna be nobody but HIM to look after those kids. That usually takes a few moments to sink in - and you ought to see the icy cold stare they turn on him when it does! To me, seeing a cheated wife reach that point is worth more than the consulting fee he's gonna wind up paying me! That stare means "You're toast, buster!" Three of the most beautiful words a woman can speak...

Answer 10

I can honestly tell you, I have no idea! I wonder also.....is anyone faithful anymore? Just because the relationship is rocky does that me en its a free ticket to cheat.....its a sad world we live in!

Answer 11

When men cheat, it tends to be about sex.

When women cheat, it is most likely about attention.