I work with a married man that I have had an affair with in the past.We have stopped intimacy for three months. Most of the time he keeps it about work, but it is about things that he does not even need to talk to me about. His mood seems down and he has told me many times that he "wishes he had a choice" "that he wants something he can't have". But he has not backed off completely. He does not approach me about sex anymore, but there are times where he is more emotional and he says that it's good to hear my voice, or that I look so beautiful. I know that he wishes to have so much more with me...and not just sex. He has no kids, but he has had a hard life and his wife and her family provide him with stability. Plus he has been with her since he was 15 years old. But I don't think he is in love with her, just greatful, guilty, and comfortable. I believe he has fallen in love with me. He does not leave his wife, but he continues being the way he is with me. Any opinions? What can I do?
2007-01-11 03:55:39 · 15 answers · asked by lilly1982 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're wasting your time. He's married because he chooses to be married. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Stop making excuses for him and just look at what he DOES, not what he says.
2007-01-15 03:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Vix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels trapped in a loveless marriage, but that doesn't give u the right to him, if he is married and continues to live with her. he sounds as if he is comfortable in his marriage, but would like to have u too. he may never leave his wife, and u are involving yourself in a thing that will only bring u heartache. u will either get heartache or cause someone else to get it. would be most fearful of karma, and when we hurt others and do wrong, we always get whatever we did to someone else back. go find a man who is free to be with u, he is taken. they all tell u they don't love their wife, why wouldn't he fall for u, happens every day, but think he will never leave her, maybe because of financial reasons, maybe because he feels guilt over it. he is using u for emotional support.
2007-01-11 12:06:14 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't leave his wife because he wants to be with her. You are being used, he cut off sex because he couldn't handle the guilt of it. He has a choice, regardless of what he says, he made his choice and it is his wife. You don't have a choice in this though, your only choice is to move along and leave a married man alone.
Oh, and for future reference, married men who cheat on their wives, rarely leave their families for the one who opens their legs and isn't their spouse.
2007-01-11 12:08:52 · answer #3 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't allow this to continue. Even if it's not sexual anymore, there is no reason for him to continue to talk to you like there's a relationship between the two of you (or he wishes there was). Until you know for a fact that he is divorced (which he would do if he is really unhappy in his marriage), keep any interaction between you strictly business-like. It sounds like he's lying to you and trying to string you along.
2007-01-11 14:04:30 · answer #4 · answered by rhonda j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy wants his cake and eat it too with ice cream. lol
He's married with no kids....so easy to divorce and move on with his life. You need to find a new job and a single man. A married man doesn't leave his wife for someone else.
2007-01-13 17:10:31 · answer #5 · answered by SubservientAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back away and stop him now, it will only distroy his marriage and you, and if you do hook up if hes single it might not work and then both screwed..Plus after 15 yrs its hard for him to leave it will be messy and stressful, theres plenty of men single ones to that are around. do yourself a favor, keep him at a distance and dont continue it,
2007-01-11 12:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by P_a94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He enjoys having two women...end of story. He tells her the same and if found out would leave you alone in a heartbeat. What will it feel like to hear him tell her you mean nothing????
Care about yourself enough to tell him you're worth more than an emotional mistress.
2007-01-15 11:41:00 · answer #7 · answered by eubysgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL @ "I believe he has fallen in love with me".....honey, telling you what you want to hear is not "love". He continues being the way he is with you because you're nothing but a piece of *** and will never be anything more. Stop being so delusional, skank!
2007-01-11 12:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a life and you shouldn't have caused this type of mess and torment for this guy. He was married so that meant hands off. Nobody is going to ease your guilt if you have any because you could have avoided this altogether.
2007-01-11 12:13:46 · answer #9 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay the hell away from him since he is MARRIED. Walk away from him and thank your lucky stars that you are not married to this jerk.
You do not believe that he loves her, because he has to justify cheating on his wife to himself. MARRIED men lie.
2007-01-11 12:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by siriusblackpearl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋