How can I tell my husband that if he loses weight we would have more sex?

Question

.............and have him really believe it?
I am not willing to hurt his feelings by telling him that our sex life suffers as a result of his weight problem. I want a nice way to motivate him without being cruel or nagging.

Wait a minute! I am totally in love with my husband and attracted to him in every way. In no way am I wanting to get a divorce. We have great sex and are capable of any/all positions, and I have tried to communicate this with him subtly.

Answer 1

he knows.
you don't have to tell him.

but, you don't have to stay silent.
if you do the grocery shopping
and cooking
you can influence his habits that way

you can turn the tv off earlier
and walk more, etc.
and encourage him to join you
and help him that way


you should also, however,
enjoy yourself sexually
--to help keep up your own
self-esteem

and, treat your self nice...
scented hair conditioner
and hand/body lotions,
pretty tops... all soft and feminine
will help you remember
that you're an attractive, desirable woman


you've been w/him awhile.
he has good points.
comment on them
as often as you...feel like it.
that'll help him
believe
that he doesn't have to
be
who he is now
(overweight)

it's not that he doesn't know
his weight is a turnoff.

it's just that he has gotten too comfortable
to do the work necessary
to change


you can lead him w/a stick
(words/insults & fear of you moving on)
or a carrot
(loving/encouraging words & examples of your self-improvement)


you know,
your life is yours.

of course you want to be there for him.
but, you deserve the same
--him being there for you.

if this is a strong relationship,
and you both love enough to be honest
& to respect
the other's honesty,
you will be able to have a healthy
and complete
conversation
about your feelings
and desires
for the future...
(perhaps even a future together!)


it's all about
being a partner
--so you wan't have to be a part.

g'luck
it'll work out.
(and so will he)

Answer 2

From experience, very heavy men (I can only assume women, too) have a limited amount of positions that they are capable of during sex.

Your best bet is to be active yourself...and be conscious of the things you consume and buy to consume. Sure, he might be the kind of person who stops for that danish and coffee in the morning...having breakfast in the morning has helped to curb appetite and binging throughout the day. Perhaps making him a breakfast might help...I don't know. You can also ask him to walk with you in the evenings after dinner. He might not want to participate...but if you are consistent with it...he might eventually participate--but don't (like you said) nag at him about it. He has to be willing to do this for himself.

Do gently communicate that loosing weight would = more fun, interesting, or new things (or old, if he was once thinner) in sex. By all means--DONT Tell him that your sex life sucks or that you would have MORE sex if he lost weight..."more" sex should not be used as an incentive or "less" sex should not be used as a sanction....
Reinforcement through articles by decent reference, on the nightstand or coffee table (depending if you have children and their age). I wish you lots of luck! Remember, weight loss, if done right...takes a long time. 5-10#s a month is a very good goal...anything over this potentially is put back on...its a vicious cycle. Good luck and better sex!!:-)

Answer 3

I feel bad that your in that situation but, I can totally see where you are coming from.

Maybe using some reverse pyschology. Use the assuption that if you were fat would he be unattracted to you. When you bring up the sex conversation make it sound like you guys can try different positions and last longer if he was healthier. Or the easiest but sure thing is tell him straight out that he is on the verge of recieving no sex at all because of the attraction you don't feel. I really hope you find a great solution, I don't want you to be a divorce statistic.

Answer 4

Well to start off if you are in a true relationship you should be able to talk about anything,but if its you dont know how to start the conversation just wait till yall are just chillin and be like i read on the internet today that for every 35 pounds that you lose it adds on an inch where it matters. by the way that is a proven fact so dont think it was made up!!! good luck to ya

Answer 5

There is no nice way of saying it. Put yourself in his shoes. What about if you are fat and he would tell you that you need to lose weight so we have sex more? I believe your feelings will get hurt and your self-esteem will drop.
You accepted your husband when you guys got married. "I do" says alot of your committment and sacrafice. People change but inside, they are the same person.

In my opinion, I would not tell him. Approach it in a different way. Talk about his health issues. Read articles about overweight people and see what facts you can get about any health concerns that will allow him to lose weight.
Have you and your husband be memebers at a fitness gym. Do things together to fulfill your goals and maybe his.

Good luck and please do not be too cruel.

Answer 6

The only way is to really be honest with your husband and tell him how you feel. Personally, my husband is a big man and I wouldn't change him for the world because of the person he is and our sex is amazing!Have you tried different positions? Try spicing up your sex life with oral, buy you some lingerie and surprise him with it...before you talk to him ask yourself if it's really worth hurting your husbands feelings or if you can find other ways to make sex great again.

Answer 7

More than likely you are the cook in the house. Make healthier meals that are proportioned. Take him out for walks and mention to him after the first 5 pounds that he is looking sexier. The more weight he looses and the more you notice and give adoriation the easier it will be to help him.

Keep sexing him and trlling him how much better he makes you feel because he is getting to be fit.

Answer 8

Tell him that you would like to go to a nude beach with him. Tell him your fantasy is to have sex on a beach at night. But before you fulfill your fantasy you BOTH need to get in better physical condition. Make a deal with him that you will help each other achieve your goals and the rewards will be more amazing than his wildest dreams. Good luck.

Answer 9

I don't know if this will work for you but my husband and I could both stand to lose some weight. We watched an episode of biggest loser and he challenged me to see who could lose the most weight(he won of course) but I'm still losing weight I've almost caught up to him. Maybe try cooking healthier and smaller portions so there will be no leftovers to tempt and keep lots of healthy snacks on hand get rid of those greasy chips and such.
try this site as well
http://www.toloseweight.org/

Good Luck

Answer 10

wow, exercise with him! Run hour an hr with him like every day. Well, is he competitive? Well, I know men really hate to loose and really really hates to lose by a women. So if your running laps around him and his friends find out......

my hubby and I do yoga together.Ya, I know but it's a way for US to bond, while doing something healthy.

Get rid of all the unhealthy food.No chips, etc/etc lots of raw vegs and fresh fruit. Salad forever
Oh, honey were having stir fry tonight.