I dated this girl for a long time and we broke up. We were once the golden couple. Our families were tight, everything. We got back together and started to work things out. We broke up before b/c I didn't like how she had a "best friend". We spend the past thanksgiving, xmas, and new years and all of a sudden she didn't come home for days. She was with that guy. I'm moving on, but can anyone explain her behavior. She says she's confused and still sees a future with me, yet is doing crap behind my back. Has anyone experienced this before? Is this some b.s. where she needs to find out if I am the one or is she pure evil? All I know is that I am going to find better and she will see she lost a good thing. The only thing I am mad is that I tried to work with someone I thought I could believe in.
2007-01-11 03:21:43 · 11 answers · asked by Need Answers 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is not confused, she just doesn't have love for you, but pity. All those reasons what you told before make her think that she must try make it with you and probably her family told her the same, but her heart is somewhere else, not with you. Seems like you really love her, but you better move on without her, because if you won't, she will brake your heart completely.
2007-01-11 18:17:12 · answer #1 · answered by Bella 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She probably does care for you. Sometimes when you break up with someone especially when it involves jealousy those issues never are resolved. You can't expect her to drop her friends or contacts because you want to work things out. I think the best thing to do is SLOW DOWN. Take your time and work things out.
You can't work anything out if your worrying about someone else and focus on the relationship between you and her. But and thats a big but, if she doesn't have the heart to tell you and the signs are there let go. Because if you feel you need to move on 9xout of 10 you should. Because what you are feeling is not healthy and instead of working on the relationship you are going to hurt yourself. Don't do anything that you expect to be returned. Find something else to do with your time, I know its hard to do but don't make yourself so available to her. Say no sometimes and don't worry about her going to someone else she wll have to live with those choices that she make. Believe me when you do let go she will regret not being straight up with if that's the case.
2007-01-11 11:39:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has someone else, then things are beyond repair.
She wants it all: you waiting to get settled and the thrills and frills of an affair. This is selfish behavior and obviously she is only looking after herself and having you in the back burner just because you know that she can depend on you being her stepping mat when she gets tired of playing with another or have no stability.
Move on and don;t let her sweet talk you into getting back with you. If she is not freely giving you everthing, then she is not yours.
Good luck
2007-01-11 11:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dated her believing she was someone you could confide in and trust.
From her actions you have learned that you were wrong.
Remember people's actions are more honest than their words.
Her being with this other guy means she is NOT committed to you.
Her being with this other guy and saying she sees a future with you is her NOT being commit ed him.
Therefore she is NOT committed to either one of you.
Right now its all about her. Its about how she feels.
Love is about caring about what someone else feels.
She does NOT love you.
The opposite of love is not hate.
The opposite of love is apathy.
You trusted her.
She betrayed your trust.
Thinking about how far she will betray your trust causes fear and its this fear that causes your hate.
Every decision you have made helped make you who you are today. No one choose to make a bad decision. We all make the best decision for what we know at the time. You have no reason to fear anything she says or does now.
The reason she did what she did is because she is not ready to be apart of something bigger than herself. She is selfish.
Now go a live your life and be thankful you weren't married to this selfish person who would of taken half of everything.
2007-01-11 12:35:00 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is indeed confused. She wants you for security, but she wants her "best friend" for that raw animal sex she is having with him! Trust is very important in a relationship and it looks like she has betrayed that trust. Best bet for you is to move on with your life and avoid her. She will soon figure out what she has lost but it will be too late by then. Besides, once a cheater(liar) always a cheater. She'll do this to you again if you take her back.
2007-01-11 11:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are smart to move on, she obviously has and you can now not trust her.
I am glad that you are wise enough to see that at your age, shows some serious maturity. Stick to your guns.
The right one will come along, and you will be so happy that you did not settle for a woman you cannot trust.
One small bit of advice, don't dwell on your anger, just let it go. You at least learned what kind of woman you don't want to be with!
Peace!
2007-01-11 11:50:39 · answer #6 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you have most of it sussed except you cant accept that she was confused.
When the head clears many a person has found they have made bad decisions.
Most learn valuable lessons from these moments.
Are you sure you cant work with it ?
2007-01-12 01:17:49 · answer #7 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be healthier for you to say, "I love that girl, but I'm angry she didn't give me back the love I wanted," than to say that you hate her. She betrayed your trust and you're not getting back with her for solid reasons. The truth of the matter is, though, you did care deeply for her, and you still do.
2007-01-11 11:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try givig her a choice You or him if you dont like it leave and the hurt will be gone and your heart free.The pain is the first step ,..
2007-01-11 12:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by DR.Frankie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is surely not worth you.So stop being mad,and go on with life.You are too good for her.
2007-01-11 11:38:09 · answer #10 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋