The woman was flirting and I told the wife that she had her eye on her husband. The woman got her husband to spill some more news that I didn't tell her and now I am getting blamed. She got her husband to tell her that him and the girl kissed, and that they were messing around. I never said that to her. What should I do, I shouldn't get blamed. They have 3 children together, I just wanted to tell her to watch out.
2007-01-11 02:59:01 · 10 answers · asked by fourcheeks4 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
They always blame the messenger! She probably just needs someone to take her anger out on. Even if you didn't tell her point blank they were screwing around, she will be happy one day that she found out her husband is a creep!
2007-01-11 03:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like the husband confessed to more than even you suspected, but because you were the tip-off, the wife MAY be upset with you also.
You can't do anything to redeem yourself, because you were not the cause of the problem in the first place. Your intentions were good, but it isn't enough to change someone's mind if they've decided to be angry with you as well.
She's probably embarrassed, devastated, angry, and incredulous all at once. You were in the loop, and she knows you were recognizing things about her own husband that she failed to....that has to be humiliating. Her anger may also be what we call "pain-by-association"....you aren't really an offender here, but the revelation you gave her forced both she and her husband to confront things that evidently neither of them were ready to face.
What I'm trying to say is this: You can tell her you love her, and you're sorry for what happened, and you will be there for her if she needs to talk/rant/rave/whatever. But do NOT try to explain or redeem yourself to her, because you simply can't. This is how she has chosen to respond to one of the most painful situations anyone can face, and you have no control over that.
Even though you meant well, you took this risk when you opened up to her and volunteered what you knew.
If you're ever confronted with such an option again in the future, this experience may change whether you choose to get involved or not.
Good luck -
2007-01-11 11:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be proud of yourself for trying to help another girl out. If she wants to be stupid and unappreciative then, that's her problem. Probably the reason that her husband is messing around with another woman because, she probably don't listen to him either.
2007-01-11 11:05:18 · answer #3 · answered by grizzly girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your fault tell her hubby that he messed with fire and just got burnt...maybe he should spend more time kissing his wife and their babies and less time kissing on other women! don't take the blame tell you husband and the guys wife that you didn't say that and that he obviously felt guilty.....if I was that woman I would be thanking you for telling me before it was more than kissing!
2007-01-11 11:05:14 · answer #4 · answered by mouthygirl20012001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be proud of yourself for telling this woman to watch, cause it caused the husband to spill it. I am sure she wanted to know, I would have and would have thanked you.
2007-01-11 11:04:25 · answer #5 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thank goodness there really ARE still people out there like you! You did nothing wrong & you are being sought as the scapegoat. Be proud that you stood up for the sanctity of marriage. Kudos to you!
2007-01-11 11:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by єЖтяα ¢яιѕρψ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny that the blame got put on you. Goes to show that they are both looking for someone to blame.
2007-01-11 11:05:05 · answer #7 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt' be telling her anything else......she is not trustworthy. Make her find out for herself.
2007-01-11 11:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by davidnicolewilson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do. next time keep your mouth shut.
2007-01-11 11:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by sweetest sweetness around 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
hmmm.
2007-01-11 11:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋