You are having a dream about meeting the Beatles,prior to their fame. Can you write an amusing paragraph or 2?

Question

or more that includes these phrases? (Three are direct quotes.)
1. Maybe you need another bloke in the band??
2. I've got a great idea for a song....here,let me sing a bit of it.
3. We'll be at the Cavern for a lunchtime gig.
4. Despite your crass behavior, I'm actually glad we're getting this time together.
5. I had a word with Van Gogh last night. He said if he could do it all again he'd be down here shaking his bottom to "Blue Suede Shoes." I gave him your regards.
6. Honestly! Me mind boggles at the very idea.

Answer 1

As the senior junior detective at the station, the sergeant in charge chose me to accompany him to collect a prisoner from Hyton, just outside Liverpool. As it was a long train journey from London in those days, and we are talking about 1960, the escort for the prisoner had to be two officers. As it was also late afternoon, arrangements had been made with local officers that we would stay overnight in a local hotel.
The train journey was uneventful and when we arrived in Lime Street station, we were met by two likewise young plain clothes officers. I could tell by the smiles on their faces that we would not be lonely for the next fourteen or fifteen hours. They drove us to the hotel, we booked in and deposited our overnight bags.
'Right then' said Shane, in a lovely Liverpuddlian accent 'lets show you our fair city'.
As we entered a Merseyside bar, everything went quiet but as soon as we had pints in our hands, and the crowd decided that the local boys were not in fact working or looking for someone, the laughter and noise recommenced. 'Hey Joe' Shane almost had to shout to his partner to be heard 'look over there, see who it is'. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah' Joe answered 'that silly ****, Pete Best. If he'd stayed with them other lads, he could be going somewhere by now. Lets have a chat'.
Shane went over to the one they were talking about and brought him back to where we stood. He introduced us and after a few minutes, Joe said 'Awe come on Pete. You owe us a big favour, lets have a few passes for the Cavern, you always have some'. 'So long as you tell no-one where they came from' Pete begged 'that John will chin me if he finds out. Freebies are not his style. Anyway, good luck, it's probably 'Grab a Granny' night there this evening.
Half-an-hour and three pints later, there we were, in the darkest Liverpool back street where a crowd of about five hundred, mostly young women, were crowded outside a small door.
Shane went up to the door and when he was seen by the doorman, all panic broke out. 'Relax Stevie' Joe said to him 'Off duty'. He produced the comliamentary tickets and Stevie looked twice before taking them 'Sure you didn't need them Mr. O'Brien, I'd have let you in for nuttin'. 'Just take us backstage Stevie and all is forgiven' Shane winked at him.
And there we were, in the comparative silence of the backroom which passed for a changing room with the four young men who were to take the world by storm in the next few years. They were just ordinary youngsters but the big one, John, had something mysterious about him. He was all eyes and looked us up and down before speaking. 'And to what do we owe this great pleasure Mr. O'Brien' he asked. Shane pushed me forward and said 'I thought John that maybe you need another bloke in the band?'. 'Is he one of yours' George, the quiet one asked 'cause if he is I've got a great idea for a song...here, let me sing a bit of it'. He picked up his guitar and began to strum. Quickly the others joined in and began to sing a popular football song of the time 'All coppers are baskets' or words to that effect, over and over again. 'I'll tell you what Mr. O'Brian' Paul, the cheeky one was now getting brave 'we'll be at the Cavern for a lunchtime gig tomorrow and you can have a go on the drums. Ringo's off form lately'.
'Despite your crass behaviour Paul' John put on his posh accent 'I'm actually glad we're getting this time together with the law of this parish'. He was obviously extracting the michael. 'I would like your opinion, Mr. O'Brien and that of your colleague Mr. O'Shea, on the delicate subject of marajuana'. Shane's reply put a smile on John's face 'Go forth and multiply' was all he said.
Joe was now getting in on the act 'We had a prisoner in the nick last night lads, by the name of Vincent Van something or other, a Dutchman. You should try writing a song about him, interesting man that' he joked.
'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' Shane joined in 'I had a word with Van Gogh last night. He said if he could do it all again, he'd be down here shaking his bottom to Blue Suede Shoes. I gave him your regards. Somehow, though, I don't think he has a good ear for music'. Suddenly there was a call to go on stage, and while we stood in the wings, the lads let rip. It was bedlam..
All this went on while me and the sergeant just stood there transfixed. It was only a couple of years later when the boys were indeed world famous that this meeting with them had any significence for me.
Me and the Beatles. Honestly me mind boggles at the very idea..........I wished I would never wake up......................

Answer 2

Is there really a point to doing this???

Answer 3

I'd get them all hooked on heroin.