What would you say, how does this make you feel? I keep a very clean house. Im a SAHM and I have a 3 year old. He presented me this list last night at dinner:
Daily:
Wipe down counter tops and bars
Wipe down sinks
Windex tables and end tables
Clothes laundered and put away
Beds made
Straighten couch
Bathroom vanity tops and sinks wiped down
Clean soap dishes
Clean bathroom mirrors
Shower wiped down and squeegeed
Refrigerator stocked and organized
Vacuum floors upstairs and down
Vacuum stairs
Weekly
Clean microwave
Full dusting
Doors windexed
Clean toilets, tubs and floors
Mop with cold water
Fabreeze
Wipe down cabinets
Car washed
Monthly
Wipe down refrigerator
Wipe down silk plants
Reorganize closets
So what are your thoughts on this? I feel hurt, frustrated, and a little angry!
2007-01-11 02:44:33 · 19 answers · asked by sierraskyesmom 5 in Home & Garden ➔ Cleaning & Laundry
Could be that he feels since you are a SAHM you don't do anything all day long (ha!) and so thought he'd make sure you were aware of your duties. If you really want to marry this man I would suggest talking to him about how it made you feel and how ridiculous his expectations are. I'd also suggest premarital counseling. And if he still feels that way byehim a season of Leave it to Beaver because that's the only place he's going to find a woman willing to be a maid and a full time mom.
2007-01-11 03:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by cj26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of this stuff is ridiculous and I'm SURE that you do a LOT of it already?! without being 'told' to. Is he a neat freak or?? A couple quick things..get the shower daily stuff and whoever showers last can spray, get liquid soap dispensers vs. soap dishes (those things are gross). What does he do?? Does he have a list or help out at all?? All the cooking maybe or ANYTHING?? Do you get PAID to do all of this like a live in housekeeper or just expected as your 'contribution' for your room and board?? A lot of the other stuff is on an as needed basis..if EITHER of you see something that needs to be done, do it... Do u have kids yet and what will their expectations be? I had a reg. routine for myself and my son that we did so 'bigger jobs' got done weekly. Clean the car?? oh boy. Taking care of your own stuff and your daughters and ok, even doing a majority of the 'house' stuff but his stuff too?? umm...no. I wonder if his mom ever made him take care of his own stuff?
2007-01-11 02:56:38 · answer #2 · answered by Steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you ought to be upset about this! I'd feel hurt, too. He's trying to control you. Unless you signed on to be a full time maid as well as a wife, then you need to let him know firmly that he's to do some of these things as well. My suggestion would be to tell him very directly that his trying to dictate to you what you will be doing and when upset you and ask which part of the house cleaning he was intending on doing other than manage the chores by checking off the list. Depending on how the conversation goes, perhaps you'd like to be ready with a rearranged list which includes him doing many of the chores as well. Now is the time to stand up and let him know you won't put up with this behavior, prior to saying those final "I do's"! :o) Best wishes to you!
2007-01-11 02:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by ●Gardener● 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Golly, and "SEX" wasn't on his detailed list too?!
Really, if it's bugging you now (and it would bug anyone), it will really tick you off when he starts to tell you HOW to do everything.
I am willing to guess that if you told him what he should do each day in his chosen occupation, he'd probably get REALLY miffed at you.
I would SERIOUSLY reconsider your future with him. If he's this demanding/degrading with you now, imagine what kind of father-figure he'll be to your daughter. Kids are just kids after all. You're the mom, and it's your responsibility to protect her, even if it means breaking your heart.
I am a stay at home mom too. I cook, clean, pay bills, take care of the kids, try to meet everyone elses needs, and am no slouch either. My husband would NEVER dream to make a list such as this, because he never had it so good!
Trust your instincts on this. RUN. There are other men out there (not perfect ones) but they will definitely treat you better.
Really, "sex" should've been on his list....what kind of man is he?! hehe.
2007-01-11 03:56:25 · answer #4 · answered by Florida girl at heart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can't make his own bed?!! When did he move out of his parents house? Here's what I would do. Tell him you cleaned the kitchen counter but you can't get this one stain off. Point to a spot of your choice on the counter and have him look at it real close...I mean real close. As he's bent over the counter trying to spot the stain grab the nearest frying pan, (cast iron is recommended) crack him over the skull with it. Take all the money out of his wallet and replace it with the list. Then RUN!
2007-01-11 03:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by sakeofease 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow....honestly, this is bad. This shows an extremely controlling side of him that I could see getting out of control, especially once you get married. I have a friend who recently got married and once she did, her husband started telling her what and how to clean, when to get up in the morning, when to shower, etc. I won't say "leave him now" because obviously it wouldn't be easy for you to just do that, but I would say a "who the hell do you think you are?" conversation would be in order. He has NO right to do this whatsoever. If he wants all that done on a schedule and without fail, then I suggest he roll up his sleeves and get working.
2007-01-11 03:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Grace1228 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to have a serious talk with him about communicating with RESPECT.
A little angry????
You are a saint!
And yes I think writing him a list of his own is also a very good idea. Maybe just put down all the things he wrote for you and more.
wow.
2007-01-11 04:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by ghds 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's your response to give to him:
Immediately:
Stand up
Walk to the front door
Open it
Walk out
Shut the door behind you
Get in your car
Drive at least 10 miles away
Daily:
Dont call
Dont stop by
Beat your head against a solid surface for being an idiot
Work on growing some brains (for your own benefit)
Joking aside this man does not respect you. You and your son need better.
2007-01-11 03:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are a child needing direction you need to walk away now before you marry this person. When people marry they enhance either the good or the bad. I don't think this person could disrespect you more than he already has however if you marry him I'm sure he will try....
Remember this , you deserve the absolute best from the person that loves you and they should strive to be better to you more each day.
2007-01-11 02:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by Rod H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my husband presented me with this list, one of two things would happen, it would disappear in short order b/c I'd shove it so far up his ---, or all you'd see from me is the smoke off my tires. He's a control freak, who feels an unhealthy need to dictate your entire life. GET OUT!!! My husband occassionally makes comments about the house, if something needs to be done, all he gets from me is "Are your hands broken?" he usually slinks off and hides.
2007-01-11 03:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by bunnyhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋