We have a 5-month year old and have been together for 4 years but I want to get my things together on this end. I want to save up enough money where I live then have enough money to move and do the whole wedding thing. I just don't want to rush moving in with him and feel pressured.
2007-01-11 02:44:07 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
5-month old
2007-01-11 03:04:34 · update #1
I think you are doing the right thing. Yes, the baby may have come first, but nevertheless, you shouldn't feel pressured into moving in with him just because you have a child together. If marriage is what you want I think you should go ahead and get married first. It may be a bit more difficult to do that after you move in together. There is always something that comes up and you will need to put your money towards that instead of towards the wedding you want.
Nevertheless, you two need to be able to maturely sit down together to compromise and work out a solution that you both are happy with. This is one of many situations that you two will face in life where one will have one opinion and the other will have their opinion. But you two love each other and have brought this wonderful life into the world and it is worth the compromise and coming to an amicable solution.
Congrats on your son! Congats on your wonderful marriage and best for all in the future!!
2007-01-11 03:28:35 · answer #1 · answered by Drea G. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are in any way feeling "rushed or pressured", then stay away and REALLY get things together on your end. You've been together 4 years? And not married yet? You have a baby and you aren't married yet? Sounds like you or he have some reservations about this relationship or it would have moved forward BEFORE having a baby. Think long and hard about these things before getting married.
2007-01-11 02:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by jiminycricket 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's considered a bit unusual these days to not live together with someone you intend to marry until you are actually married. It's better to live together first because you really get to know what the other person is like - what their bad habits are, how clean they keep their personal space, how they are to sleep in the same bed as on a regular basis that sort of thing. It must be especially strange I would think since you share a child together.
Generally in this situation you would have already opted to live together since you are already a family. The way you are doing it is more like the old skool way that people used to handle relationships and marriage in regard to living together...
2007-01-11 02:52:20 · answer #3 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever lived with him before? It seems like if money is the only issue, you'll be saving money by moving in with him. If that's not your only concern, maybe you should face what it is head on, and not hide behind a made-up reason. I'm not coming down on you, You should just be REALLY sure before you marry someone. Yes, you have a child together but that doesn't mean you HAVE to get married.
2007-01-11 02:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by divinationjones 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if you wanted to get things together you should have waited until you were married before you started a family and second it does not take much to get married at a justice of peace why spend money on a wedding when you already have a family take the money and use it on your new home or on the baby
2007-01-11 02:53:43 · answer #5 · answered by poptart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't do anything that you are not comfortable with. And he should understand. But my question is that if you have had a 4 year relationship and have a child together. What are you waiting for? Why not have a wedding, move in and save up for a fantabulous reception.
2007-01-11 02:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've a low self-worth or you does not placed up with this looser. smash it off and record for a divorce. i'd also record for a restraining order on your husband through psychological abuse and take a check out to diminish his visitation rights. the first time he cheated on you should were the perfect. once the believe is lengthy gone in a wedding ceremony it over. so that you've each and every correct to record for a divorce. Now for the little ones. Its toughest on the little ones because they don't recognize whats occurring. clarify to them that the themes are between you and your husband. If the daddy refuses to work out them or use them in for leverage on you do not enable it happen. As a confirm the little ones come first so safeguard them regardless of if it ability eliminating the fathers visitation rights all mutually. solid success.
2016-10-17 00:51:00 · answer #7 · answered by manca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently, you already have a sexual relationship with him, before marriage.
Just go down to the courthouse and say the vows. Save your money for things to do as a family.
What is a 5 month year old? Statement doesn't make sense.
2007-01-11 02:58:14 · answer #8 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have a 5 month old son with him the horse, so to speak, is out of the barn. I can understand the financial, if anyone says anything tell them that is why you are doing it.
But if your folks want you out well you can't blame them some do their parenting babies bit and don't want to have to go another round with the sleepless nights and diapers. You really need to bow to whoeever your living with now wishes.
2007-01-11 02:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a 5 month old with him?...you've been together 4 years? You're NOT rushing...if you were moving any slower you'd be going backwards.
2007-01-11 02:48:18 · answer #10 · answered by bradxschuman 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋