i have been going out with this girl for 15months, and i actualy think i love her, she is amazing, and understands everything. a short time intothe relationship we had sex. it was my first time, but she had done it before, with her ex-boyfriend who we are (unfortunately) in regular contact with. i am jealous of this intamacy that they shared, and would give everything to have shared it with her instead of him. the problem is, the more i love her in other aspects of our relationship, the more i grow to hate this fact. things regularly remind me of it, and i can't get it out of my head, it upsets me so much that i physically hurt myself to block it out, whenever i think about it. recently i keep considering suiced to escape thinking about it. i have never tried, but i get more tempted each time.
it may be melodramatic but its how i feel. what can i do?
2007-01-11 02:08:26 · 8 answers · asked by A guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Listen to me...Think like a grown man and understand that she had a pst before you and you had a past before her, regardless of the fact that you were a virgin and she not. You still shared intimacies in one form or another w/someone other than her, whether on a romantic or emotional level, you have. Therefore, you have to move beyond that and cherich what the two of you are creating together. You are different, treat her w/ kindness and intimacy and she will hold YOU in her thoughts. And trust me.... girls really don't hold onto that "first guy" so much because it really wasn't all that and a bag of chips for us, ya know!!!! AND BY ALL MEANS..... don't think about checking out....there is ALWAYS something better around the corner, I know, I've been around the corner a couple of times. I don't ususally write this much! Please, take it easy on yourself.
2007-01-11 02:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you both had waited until marriage this would not be an issue. I'm not trying to be mean. Suicide is never the answer for any problem. You are just going to have to let go of this hatred and anger you feel. If you keep harvesting it it will only cause you to lose this relationship. You can't focus on your or other ppls past. Just look to the future and get over this. Be glad of what you have now. After all, she's with you, right? This must say something. You shouldn't let anything make you feel unworthy of love. Maybe you feel guilty about having sex with someone who had already had sex-not really the "who" she had sex with part. Maybe you guys should focus on your feelings for one another. I'm not sure how old you are, but 15 mths is a long time to throw away over something like this. It would be different if she were still seeing him in that way.
2007-01-11 10:30:21 · answer #2 · answered by tc381mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact is that you cannot change her past. No amount of wishing or hoping or fretting about it will change the fact that she was not a virgin when you two had sex. You need to focus on the other fact...that being that you are now together in a relationship.
The truth is that it will be hard for you to find someone that doesn't have some kind of past. Are you going to let it consume you each and every time??
2007-01-11 10:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of asking people on yahoo, why dont you explain your feelings to her, and tell her you find it uncomfortable for her to be speaking to her ex. If she lost her V to her ex she will always have that bond with the guy, just as you have with her, if you ever split up with the girl youl prob want to stay in contact cause you gave her something special. And please dont turn to harming yourself, your worth alot more than to be harmed by other people let alone yourself. And dont kill yourself, do you know how many people are dying from AIDS and cancer and wish they had a life to live, youve been given a gift of life, so live it to the full.
If you need someone to talk to dont hesistate to email me, be more than happy to listen and help. Goodluck x
2007-01-11 10:18:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are way too young to keep thinking these thoughts. You need to grow up and get on with your life. Just be happy that you have someone and can be intimate with her. Who cares about her past, who has her....YOU. Suicide is not worth it, she is not worth it..no one is worth it. If you can't handle it, then seek counseling or find another relationship.
2007-01-11 11:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by davidnicolewilson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude you need help, never let a girl get you down like that. there are too many girls out there that will make you happy. go seek help and life will get better, always does
2007-01-11 10:32:12 · answer #6 · answered by bone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All that should really matter right now is that she is with you. You really need to seek some counseling.
2007-01-11 10:12:57 · answer #7 · answered by color me blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she left him he must have been crap at it eh?
2007-01-11 10:16:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋