how to answer these questions!?

Question

Okay my husband of 1 yr always always asks me these types of questions..

Am I the best you have ever had?
Do you love me more then anything in the entire world?
Am I the best in bed?

How do I answer these questions.. I am on my second marriage I was married before to be honest I loved my ex husband AT THE TIME just as much.. and come on I have been with other people in the bed... who cares if they were better... the fact is Im happy with him and thats why I am with him.

Here's my question though... How do I answer these.. I I say look hun I love you more then anything now.. but I did love as much in the past he gets all mad and throws a fit... Soooo whats a good answer to give him when he acts like this??

Answer 1

Tell him that these questions are making you feel awkward. It is a negative energy he puts in your relationship by always asking affirmation. Tease him about the being good in bed: every guy wants to hear he is, you don't realise how insecure guys are in that matter. So next to teasing him, once in a while shout "Oa! that was so good!" and surprise him. These questions are just bad ways of saying "please love me, please give me affirmation". Have a clear talk about that you do want to give him what he wants, and that his way of asking makes you sometimes not want to give him the warmth he deserves. Teach him how to ask you for it in the way that "does" it for you. Time for a serious, open, disarming conversation. Treat it as a real problem, and it will be easy to overcome. Try to not be to proud, both of you.
Good luck, with love,
Dr. Aram

Answer 2

I copied your questions so you could see my take on the question and answer possibilities.

Am I the best you have ever had?
"You are the best I have and all I want."

Do you love me more then anything in the entire world?
"You are my love."

Am I the best in bed?
"You are the best, period."

You may notice that these answers are a little ambiguous, but let the guy know you love him and love being with him. That's the real point of a marriage-- you are with the one, right now, and that's what counts. What has happened in the past doesn't mean anything for the now, nor does the future. All you can do is make sure you are with a good person that you truly love being with and that the two of you express your love for each other here and now and work to make a good marriage.

Two points I feel I should add:
* You-- it sounds like you are insecure about this relationship because of what has happened in the past and that may ruin your current relationship. Try to relax and just love the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.
* Him-- it sounds like he may get a bit overly upset over your insecurities. I don't know first-hand how exactly he is reacting, but beware. If he is acting like a jerk, you may have a serious issue on your hands. If he is getting upset for your sake because he really wants you to be happy, then work to release your insecurities and be happy.

Remember that no one is perfect-- not you, nor him, nor anyone else you may meet, past or future. Make allowances for both your imperfections and the other imperfections that seem to mar your lives. Work to having life be the best it can be, with a strong, loving relationship and by releasing the past and planning for the future. May happiness be yours.

Answer 3

LIE!!! thats how you answer them. Some adults are like children in the aspect that then need constant reassurance. Tell him he is the best lover you ever had and that he is ONE of the most important people to you and you love him SO much. Yeah its a little white lie but in situations like this, no one wants to here the truth. How would you feel if you asked him if you were his best and he said, well your alright but not as good as that hot chick I banged before I met you. Of course you know you weren't his first but you wouldn't want to hear about the others all the time.

So give him a confidence boost and tell him a few little white lies. Of course, if your feelings ever do change and you get in a big argument, just let him know that you did love him but not like you used to.

Answer 4

Leave the part out about who you did love as much in the past, and by all means--stroke his ego!!!! I am not a male basher by any means, but he is definetly insecure, and it is your job to provide some sense of security to him. I am not saying to lie to him--but by all means be tactful in your words, don't EVER bring up the old husbands or boyfriends--when he asks "am I the best you ever had?" pick out that one (or more) quality that he has and say "no one has ever... (kissed, touched etc) me the way you do. Etc, etc., it is all a matter of how you tell him. When he asks you "do you love me more than anything..." tell him yes--don't bring up the past because that is ALL irrelevant at this point anyway. You need to make him feel secure about your relationship--talk to him and find out what is making him feel so insecure and work on it together. Communication is the key to making any relationship work!! Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

He is insecure and you are giving him reason. If he needs to ask these dumb questions, tell him, yes you are the best, thats why I married you, of course I love you more than anything else. Hes not looking for anything other than reassurance if you give him that and he keeps it up for a few months, I know I'd get darn tired of it.
I told my husband I didn't care what went on before me, it wasn't the first that counts, its the last, and I intended for me to be his last as he would be mine.

Answer 6

He sounds like he is looking for reassurance and is suffering from insecurities. It doesn't matter that you loved (and will always) your first husband, things didn't work out and you are with him now. He is the one that matters (now). You are building a life with him. The past is exactly what it is, the "past". Your future is with him. Have you asked him the same questions? They really are childish questions. None compare to him, he is in a completely different category. Tell him you love him and that in his arms are where you want to be.

Answer 7

answer yes, yes and yes. You're saddled with a man who has no self esteem and needs his ego inflated because he is not sure of his sexual prowness with you. He no doubt feels he is sexually inadequate when it comes to satifying your carnal desires.
Of course this can backfire as well and he can become a real egotist who thinks he's the best lover since Don Juan. Then he'll start hitting on your friends to test the waters.
Difficult situation here. I guess just lie. What can it hurt. Only you know the truth right?

Answer 8

I would tell him he needs to grow up and act like a man or get the h ell out and go back home to suck on mommy's tit.

If he had one of those tantrums i'd kick him in the nut'z and all the way out the door and he'd never be allowed back.

If i were you i'd find a real man, one that's secure in knowing who he is and doesn't need to ask such ridiculous questions of his woman.

Answer 9

All you have to do is humour him and boost his ego by telling him what you know he wants to hear. You love him don't you ?? Where's the harm in making him happy even if it may be just a little white lie. Don't ever mention past relationships to him when he asks you those questions. You love him now and that's what's important, not the past !!

Answer 10

He's obviously insecure. I'd say "I'm married to YOU aren't I? But if you continue to ask me these same questions over and over again I'll have to suggest that you seek professional help for your insecurities."
Stay strong, just don't let this get you down as it could turn and become worse. Some insecure folks can use these types of questions to manipulate you...by eventually making you feel guilty for not loving them enough (at least in their eyes-even when you know you do).