What to do with my husband??

Question

I'm having problems with my husband. I've known him since we were kids and we have been together for 5 years. Been married for 2 and have 2 kids. We have a house together. He has been putting me down and treating me as if I'm no better than him. Every time we argue he always tends to call me names and put me down after we had agreed to stay away from name calling. We havn't been communicating with each other for about a week now and it's killing me. I can't stand to be like this. But also can't stand to try and work things out for the millionth time and have it go down the drain again. I'm emotionally drained with the situation that we are in. I'm willing to put my 50% into the realtionship but it doesn't seem that he is. I love him deeply and care for him very much but I also sometimes wish I could end our relationship b/c of his actions and foul mouth. I find it hard to end the realtionship b/c of our kids. What should I do?? Any advice would help!! Thanks.

Answer 1

First problem marriage is not 50/50. Its two people giving 100 per cent of themselves. If its going to work its going to take 110 per cent from both of you. I suggest your first step be sitting down and talking. Now if you've done this before and to no avail then go to counseling if he's unwilling then I think it's time to move. Sometimes we go into marriage thnking we can change a person and that's a very bad concept. It does not work. One thing I've learned the hard way..................Life's too dam short to be miserable. Moving on is never easy but looking back on wasted yrs is far worse. You become bitter on the years you wasted on someone who never appreciated you or was willing to work on the marriage.

Answer 2

It would be a good idea to take an honest look at yourself and see if you are contributing to the problems yourself. It takes two to argue. If you are approaching the "working out" with a holier than thou attitude, that will get you nowhere. Threatening divorce during arguments is also very destructive.
It would be a good idea to get a qualified and impartial third party you both respect for counseling. If you go to church your pastor would be a good choice. If you dont perhaps professional counseling will help. Get help!

Answer 3

You know, women are the strong heart of families. We put up with so much just to ensure the safety and happiness of our children. My relationship is similar in that my husband is selfish and uncompromisable sometimes. It is in those times you have to remember that you do love him and sometimes give a little more than your 50%. They are completely incapable of putting their half in it at these times b/c they are so selfish and are not like us, they want the turn out that is best for them. Now, with the name calling, that is an angermanagment issue. I'm sorry I don't have any advise for that. Just as long as you aren't in a domestic violence situation I would say do what feels right in your heart. Best of wishes to you and your family.

Answer 4

Never allow abuse in any form , if he cant be a man and treat you with some respect then its time to move on, even though its hard todo its better to cut your loses earlier than later.Also never stay in a bad situation for the kids i tried and it was more emotinally draining for the kids, its worse if you stay i found out the hard way. never let anyone keep you under their thumb

Answer 5

Get rid of him, he is not worth it. Life is too short. If he won't go to Marriage Counseling, then he doesn't want to work on the marriage.

Answer 6

Sounds like a problem for Dr. Phil.

Answer 7

please dont use the kids to stay. if you feel like things have gone to far and you need to get out of the relationship. do what your heart tells you if you stay just for the kids sake it will hurt them down the line.

Answer 8

get marriage counseling and tell him how u feel