And can this really be a healthy lifestyle, especially with children? A few weeks ago I found out my neighbors are swingers! If I didn't send off such a "moral" vibe I think they would hit on us. They are kind of cute...:) But not my thing at all!
2007-01-11 00:56:01 · 10 answers · asked by avalonlee 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
Yes, there really are swingers in this world, and contrary to popular belief we don't have sex with just anybody anymore than you'd have sex with just anybody, so the chances of them trying to have sex with you is slim to none. It has nothing to do with your "moral vibe". It has to do with opportunity (meaning another swinger) and attraction. And just like you're not attracted to everybody, neither are swingers.
Who are swingers? Go to your local grocery store and you'll see who swingers are. How do you tell? You don't. They are normal, everyday people, leading normal everyday lives other than once in a while they include others in there sexual activities.
How many swingers are there? Well, in sex surveys 20% of people have claimed to have had a threesome, which technically is "swinging" since the definition of swinging is "a married or otherwise committed couple who has sex with other couples or singles." It is accepted that about 0.1% of the population is active swingers, so 1 of every 1,000 couples around you are actively swingers. And you've never known, huh? That's because they are about as likely to hit on you as you are to hit on them.
Myth: Being a swinger is a 24/7 sex orgy.
Truth: Being a swinger is nothing like porn videos. It pretty much is like being single and dating, except that you are dating as a couple. Most swingers swing on the average of just once a month or so.
Myth: Swingers must not really be in love, must not have good sex with each other, or must not respect each other if they can do this.
Truth: Swingers report a greater amount of satisfaction with their marriage than the general population.
In a 2000 study of swingers done by Bellarmine University, swingers gave higher importance to marriage in the big picture of their life than those in the General Societal Survey (GSS) did. When asked "Among all things in life, how important is being married?" 86% of swingers responded "somewhat important" to "most important" as compared to only 72% of those in the GSS. This here shows that swingers, on the whole, cherish their spouse, and their marriage more than non-swingers. This is a big reason that for the most part swingers will not include cheating spouses from other couples. Swingers do hold the institution of marriage in high regard, and therefore refuse to be a part of the downfall of someone else's marriage by giving them the avenue through which to cheat on their spouse.
Also, 79% of swingers reported their marriage as being "very happy" compared to 64% of the General Society Survey.
Morality? In the survey 72% of swingers claimed a religious affiliation in comparison to 61% in the GSS.
Myth: This is not a "healthy lifestyle".
Truth: Emotionally, Swingers rate themselves personally happier (59% against 32% very happy) and their lives much more exciting (76% against 54% exciting) than does the rest of the population.
What about the children? I respond "How does it effect the children?" Do your children have any knowledge of your sex life? Do they know what sexual activities you participate in and how often? Is it any of their concern? I bet you would answer "no". Well its the same way for swingers. Swingers are no more open to their children about their sexual activities than non-swingers. Swingers don't involve children or put children in situations that they would find out. All swingers I know will not engage in sex with others if there are children about, meaning they don't have sex with friends while the kids are upstairs asleep. They go to hotels, they send the kids to grandma and grandpas for the night (just like you do I'm sure so that you can have private time with your significant other), they go to on-premise clubs. Then they leave their fantasy life behind and go home back to real life.
Physically? STD's might be seen as a big problem, but in reality swingers are far more conscious of practicing safe sex than non-swingers, with most all requiring condoms for anybody outside their relationship. Condom use amongst swingers is much higher than sexually active non-swinger singles.
Your statement "But not my thing at all!" is exactly it. It may not be your thing, but because it isn't "your thing" doesn't mean it's wrong for everybody, it's just wrong for you. For others this lifestyle works well. They are different people that think differently than you do in this world. One set of ideals is not right, and one is not wrong. They both are equally right to the people that hold them.
2007-01-11 05:59:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes... their are swingers.
The entire monogamy concept is actually pretty recent... and mistresses and prostitution remain common place today.
As for swinging in modern America (don't know about elsewhere) - its evolved from the key parties of the seventies. (aside) Key parties were a place where people hung out and partied. Married couples would come in at the beginning, and drop their car keys into a basket (or something)... at the end (generally) the woman of the couple would pull out a key at random and go home with that man... a form randomized wife swapping if you will.
Anyway - modern versions include 'levels' you have a primary (your spouse or, well, primary bf/gf) and each of you can have secondary partners, as well as tertiary partners.
To me it seems really complex... and I don't know how well I would deal with it.
But several of my friends are involved in the whole thing...
Whatever bangs your boat, yeah know?
-dh
2007-01-11 01:08:17 · answer #2 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my...are there REALLY swingers in this world? There are sure are, im one of them lol. You need to be openminded, but if you are , you will love it.
Another good place for swingers is www.swingingcouples.net
Met a few people from there :)
2015-05-05 09:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by Dhanna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are really swingers in this word. There are bi-sexuals as well. If you don't want to do it yourself, that is, or should be respected by those who do. It is actually more common than you may think.
2007-01-11 01:02:33 · answer #4 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your curious.. I knew a guy and his wife who i worked with held parties where everyone had sex with everyone..they find a hotel, a different location each week and they'd throw a party..not my thing, but yes, there are people out there who like to get their freak on a little bit more than you....btw, just because they like freaky things doesnt mean youre morally superior...
2007-01-11 01:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by INFINITE CONSCIOUSNESS 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very big, but the people who are involved in it usually keep quite about it and look very normal. And to answer you question, no it's not a healthy environment for children to be raised in, but swingers only care about their own needs and not the needs of others.
2007-01-11 01:01:23 · answer #6 · answered by BAnne 7 · 4⤊ 3⤋
swinging isn't as rare as you think. its accepted in other countries and cultures. its not immoral. they are both consenting and nobody is getting hurt, so there is no reason to judge. obviously keep it hidden from the kids, just like any other sex act. kids NEVER need to know.
2015-02-08 16:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by swordfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I got those kinda neighbors too. Not a problem for me, but I send off that vibe, too.
2007-01-11 01:03:32 · answer #8 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My co-worker is and asked me if I wanted to do that with him. I was completely offended. He still drops hints that he has an "open" relationship w/ his girlfriend I think that's gross.
2007-01-11 01:04:02 · answer #9 · answered by Love United 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I thought swinging died out in the 70's with all the new STD's around.
2007-01-11 01:00:05 · answer #10 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋