My boyfriend started showing a different face after 1 and a half months. He wants to make a familyplan under my mobile phone, he asks for really expensive vacations and when I tell him the reason why I cannot, he shows anger and frustration. He kicks the walls, throws objects around me and he wants to limit me seeing my friends. When I talk to a friend on the phone even for a minute, he perceives that as an insult and disrespect. He yells at me when I do not do the things his way. He always makes the things problematic and suffocates me. I do not have space anymore, sometimes I feel like I am getting suffocated and I told him that I do not want to baby-sit him. I will stand by him in good moments and bad moments bu he doesn't want to understand i do have a day job and hobbies and he wants me to cut all these. I think I love him but I am not sure if this is love from his perspective. I am feeling down most of the time besides good moments. Is this love?
2007-01-11 00:49:10 · 20 answers · asked by joe b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Love from him..NO .. I would suggest talking to him.. If he still continues this behavior, GET OUT... from what you are saying it sounds like a controlling person-possessive.. selfish..etc... You should be able to be who you are..There is someone out there that will LOVE you just as you are.. I don't think you will ever be happy in this type of relationship..unless he changes for the good.. Here read this:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
Good luck to you....
2007-01-11 01:00:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a number of things this might be, but love is not one of them. There is a point in the beginning of any relationship where infatuation is really the state of affairs. It feels an awful lot like love, especially if the person is new and interesting, and you find totally attractive. However, it's a tough thing to let go of the fact that once you peel back all the desire you're feeling, what you're left with is the day to day. Getting up in the morning, feeling like **** sometimes, mundane parts of life, and eventually you'll discover that unless you're the type of person that craves to be with someone controlling, this may never-in fact- be love. Generally, when it's love, like for really real love, it doesn't matter what you can or cannot provide for that person, nor does it really matter if they pout or act all needy. Generally, that's what's called being controlling, and a power struggle. If you are totally incapable of having a rational conversation where you can be honest about how you feel, then it's not love. At least on his part. If someone really loves you, they listen, and don't make you miserable 9/10 times. Ultimately, it seems like you've fallen for someone who may or may not be capable of understanding that you have a job and hobbies, because it's his show, which is unfortunate, because it means there's little room for maturity, and compassion, and compromise. So, no- I don't think it's love, or atleast a kind of love that has room to grow, or exist beyond a flash in the pan kind of thing. Good luck.
2007-01-11 09:34:37 · answer #2 · answered by Dayton S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not love!
Perhaps deep inside you feel sorry for the guy, and mistaking it for love.
You need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. It won't be long before he'll start kicking you instead of the walls.
You have a job, friends, and other interests in life, don't give them up because of him.
When the time is right, one will come along that will respect you, your interests, and your friends, everything about you.
He's not worth it! Don't become another addition to the statistics!
2007-01-11 09:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by amccoy1962 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I do not think this is love. I think you really care about him and you are wanting to help him, but looks to me like he has insecurity issues and needs to seek help. I would get out now before it is too late. After 1 and a half months imagine what he will be like farther on in the relationship. Usually people will not show their true side till later on so I can imagine what else he is hiding. I say you drop him and find someone who deserves you.
2007-01-11 09:14:30 · answer #4 · answered by kris10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to said this but in my opinion before you be in that relationship for years get out now you only been in it let say 1 month this is short and if you having problem now wait until the future when you two have children you will see what I am typing about been there done that myself
now I am 43 year old and still living in hell
2007-01-11 08:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I think that you should get out of this relationship. You may think you love him and maybe you really do but what are you going to do when he starts hitting on you and beating on you. This is not love this is lust i am sure that you are a pretty girl and you can get another MAN that is better than this little boy. As I was once told stop looking and let that MAN come to you.
2007-01-11 08:56:13 · answer #6 · answered by keyjohnsons1 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go and buy a Cd by Tina Turner and play it whe he's around.
The cd is called what's love got to do with it. Tina was experiencing similar things to you and had to come up with a song.
Sometimes, in love you have ups and downs. But when downs overtakes, sometimes you question yourself if it is worthy being in a relationship at all.
Talk to your close relatives/friends and see what they say.
2007-01-11 09:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by Peddy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that all he wants to do is control you, he probably does love you or has strong feelings for you. But he also needs to realize that you are an individual and you are his partner not slave/ child. You are not his mother and you both are two different people. I think that he is showing signs of aggression and you need to put a stop to it now, and remember you teach people to treat you a certain way (so start teaching him girl!)
2007-01-11 08:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by Roxxy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hes becoming controlive, dont let him, ITS YOUR LIFE hes just a part of it, you run it. DO NOT LET THAT get out of control or he will havea a grip on women forever and lose reality.. and never have a decent relationship
^%$#@@# HIM basicly and go have some fun if he cant deal wit it tell him no pretzels and beer with the boys
2007-01-11 08:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by sionsolo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lord get out
he wants a sugar mommy and by the sounds of it he does not have a job
and if he throws things and gets that angry it may get worse kick his sorry lazy a$$ to the curb and find a real man who wont take you for a ride
find one who will find your friends and hobbies interesting and want to do them with you
who will encourage you in your career
2007-01-11 08:55:26 · answer #10 · answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋