He's recently blown a month's salary in Atlantic City and is going through major troubles with his wife. Am I an enabler if I allow him to stay?
2007-01-11 00:06:08 · 19 answers · asked by cafeconleche123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a daughter with an online gambling addiction so I know your concerns. I keep waiting for her to show up on my doorstep. I'll take her in but, I'll lock up my jewelry!! Letting him stay FREE is being an enabler. Make him pay rent to you. Also put your cash, bank card, credit cards, jewelry in a safe place. They don't seem to have any control over what they do to get money to feed their addiction. Good luck to both of us!
2007-01-11 00:15:39 · answer #1 · answered by mjm52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and you will be missing some goods too. And hide your checkbook, credit cards and cash and jewelry. People with addictions feed their addiction at the cost of everything and everyone else. Especially if they are family, they will use that to their advantage. See if there is a group for the family of gambles anonymous as there is for the families of alcoholics. But, keep your life savings safe in the meantime. If he is having major wife troubles the odds are hes blown more than the one months salary you've heard about. Be careful.
2007-01-11 08:18:32 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let the person stay. I'd lock up all the valuable items i own first.
I wouldn't say you are an enabler.
I'm 52 retired, the wife is still working, i go to the casino's once every week and spend 8-10 hours. I set limits on how much i will allow myself to lose. $500 a week. Trouble is i seldom lose when i go, guess it's all to luck.
Last year I spent out of pocket $30,000+ on slots and at the table, but i banked over $160,000, my 3 year spending was $97,500 out of pocket but banked 863,275.35.
2007-01-11 08:57:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Allowing a man to sustain life doesn't really fall under the category of enabiling, but you should be sure that he understands that any thing you could be asked to do in the capcity of enabling will be immediately addressed. Enabling means you allow him to continue his addiction, not his life.
2007-01-11 08:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by your_name_here 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you would be enabling him if you allow this family member to stay in your home for a week. Besides, if you allow this famliy member to stay in your home...this family member could very easily steal from you in order to support his addiction. this person needs professional help. if you love this famliy member, then recommend him or her to some help and do not DO NOT let him or her into your home. family or not. you run the risk of having things stolen from you if you let this person stay in your home. DO NOT DO IT.
2007-01-11 08:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, yes you are somewhat of an enabler. A week is not a really long time, but beyond that week, you may have to put yur foot down.
2007-01-11 08:10:55 · answer #6 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are offering living assistance. You would be enabling if you took him to AC or gave him some cash.....or any cash.
Besides it looks like winter may actually start now and you don't want to make him homeless for the week.
2007-01-11 08:10:29 · answer #7 · answered by r s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You think putting him on the street is going to help him? Let him stay, but let him know you do not encourage gambling and give him the number and address of your local gambler's anonymous group.
2007-01-11 08:10:29 · answer #8 · answered by just browsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can allow him to stay although, set down rules with him. Like no gambling for one and he has to pay rent.. Then you are not enabling him. Just dont let him live off of you.
2007-01-11 08:09:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. You are not enabling him by letting him stay only a week. But, that's it. That's your helpful part...one week no more. He goes to gamblers anonymous...and back to wife...and they deal with these problems together.
2007-01-11 08:10:34 · answer #10 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋