why is it men hates to accept that they are married, why can't men accept that they are head of the family? broken family can really affect the children? how can we explain to the kids that we're not happy family anymore?
2007-01-10 23:52:34 · 17 answers · asked by blehtin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't tell them you're not a happy family ... you're an unhappy couple with kids. You're putting the adult issue onto the kids and that should be avoided, eventaully kids will figure out for themselves what is good and what is bad. For now I would just say that mom and dad can't seem to be together but we both love you kids and we're going to try to make it work as best we can for you but just not under the same roof. Sometimes a mom or a dad can have trouble that makes it hard for them to be there, and if by chance dad's not here then he's missing the best thing in his life and it may be a long time before he realizes that.
We've used this tactic, you need to make sure the kids feel loved and supported and that you don't alienate the other parent. Sometimes they just need time to get it together, and other times it's just got to be. We had a "father" who left when kids were about 5 and 3, mom tried to lie for dad then eventually did the bad mouth thing, other family just tried to say dad had problems, and now at the age of 13 the kids did a search for dad and had a chance to connect (mom kept moving and dad had no idea where they were since they were always unlisted) anyway the kids are old enough to make their own decisions on dad and thats always better than giving them your feelings since he will always be their blood. And if dad isn't who you want then get a will in the event that something happens that states your intention for the care of the kids and why because you don't want an accident to cause more problems. Just a thought !!!
2007-01-11 00:11:15 · answer #1 · answered by Chele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless they are very young, the arguments and yelling have already clued them in on that happy family thing. Real men don't have a problem with being married, immature boys do. The head of the family deal can be overdone with too much responsibility on the man, marriage should be more of a 50/50 joint venture. What you say to the kids together is that while you love them, you are not going to be together anymore and you want to assure them that it is not their fault, grown ups have their own problems that have nothing to do with them, and you will both do your best so that they see Daddy and Mommy during the week and weekends. That Dad and Mom both love them and that kind of love is different and will always be there.
Then you both act like adults and split and get along in front of the kids. That last bit seems to be the toughest part.
2007-01-11 00:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it does not require emotional or any other real maturity to become a parent. Children do not get to pick their parents either. If you are in an unhappy relationship and it cannot be resolved through counseling, it is best to break the news truthfully, and as calmly as possible to your children. If you can both talk to them without anger at each other, and reassure them that you both love them very much and that will never change, this would be ideal. Children are always impacted by divorce, but they also are impacted by unhappiness. They are, fortunately, very resilient. They will get over it, probably sooner then you will.
2007-01-11 00:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by fangtaiyang 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't tell them yet..
you and your husband should talk first, work it out. there are several ways to work it out.. you should try to understand each other.. men are mostly irresponsible alright.. but you can help him.. if by sometime he's still irresponsible, then you can dump him and later on explain to your kids, but to tell you they won't be that happy.. somehow try to explain in a different way.. that you have to be away with your dad for some time or something like that.. eventuall they will understand if they're mature enough.
and yes.. the kids get affected with broken family so bad.. they might hate you..
2007-01-10 23:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by markbriones 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not an easy way because children are fragile. You don't need to explain that to children because they may already know, children are very observant. Just try not to fight in front of the kids, when the atmosphere inside the house becomes toxic, take them outside to a place they enjoy.
2007-01-11 00:01:03 · answer #5 · answered by indie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are your children, and why would you tell them such a thing at this point? Have you done anything to repair your marriage, or are you content to place all the blame on your husband? Children need to feel secure. Why tell them that the family isn't happy anymore, when it's you who isn't happy? Stop placing blame and work on your marriage. Start by looking at yourself.
2007-01-11 00:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are very sensitive and they probably already know - they sense what is going on around them - unless you have been very careful in shielding this from them - kids need to understand that in life it can't always be happy and joyful, they need to understand that people do not get along and people have disagreements. You must make it very clear to them though that it is an adult thing and absolutely nothing to do with them and they make you very happy and you love them dearly - kids sometimes feel they are to blame when parents don't get on
2007-01-10 23:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't explain that your not happy, just tell the kids that you and their father can't seem to get along and have decided that the best way for you to get along is to not be togehter. Let them know it is not their fault and that you both love them all very much and that now you will have 2 homes to spend time with each parent.
2007-01-10 23:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lump all men together like that many of us can accept responsibility and do just that. Don't tell them you are not a happy family, but don't lie to them treat them like human beings and try to explain your feelings but make sure they know that they are loved, I assume they are.
2007-01-10 23:56:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Tell Them The Truth!
( It's Daddy's Fault )
LoL Just Be Honest And Tell Them That Mommy And Daddy Have To Break Up.
2007-01-10 23:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by † Dark Prince † 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋