I really love my boyfriend. And I see my future with him. You know, getting married, build a family together, etc. But just recently, I found out that he doesn't believe in marriage. What shall I do?
2007-01-10 22:50:19 · 22 answers · asked by ritz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My genuine opinion? I am 6 years into my marriage and I have always wanted to get married. It means so much to me and our society. Before my wife, I'd gone out with two ladies who I loved so much but when I met my wife I knew then as I know now that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. And the only way to do that was marriage.
We are what we are more because of our society. My society values marriage. Had I not been so thrilled about marriage I’d still have married my wife if that’s what she wanted. I believe that in a love relationship, it’s about what makes my partner happy more than what makes me happy.
I know a lot of guys who don’t believe in marriage but then along the line they change their mind. But then there are those that really don’t care and they usually end up having no one in their life or they end up miserable and alone. (That’s how it works in my society).
Anyway, I will lose the guy. Marriage is the ultimate in a relationship. The ultimate commitment.
But hey, do what you have to do. If you love him that much, stick around dear. Love always finds a way. And do pray…
2007-01-11 01:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by tomwaterboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that he doesn't believe in it it's the fact you're probably both acting married----sharing yourself and a bed together and even possibly living together too. Your BF is thinking like what's the point---I have everything already why should I complicate things by signing a legal piece of paper when I have it all right now and it's not costing me anything.
You're lacking committment in the relationship. Yes, he's your BF and YES you are probably living with him and doing everything thing married people do but it's still not a committment!
If your BF truly really in truly LOVED you he would be willing to get married, settle down, and want to spend the rest of his life with you and share the joys of having children together and growing old together.
If you can't see a future----the long time happily ever after until death do you part----then get out of this relationship now before you get further and further emotionally attached to this BF that will never bring you the happiness you desire!
2007-01-11 06:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he doesnt believe in marriage why does he believe in a relationship. The union is still analogous isnt it; a bond shared between the both of you, an understanding from the both of you, some sort of commitment, honesty, openness, caring, sharing of the same physical, emotional and material things, growing together, reaching/ striving for the same goals and let's not forget intimacy. You have to readdress the situation and come to a conclusion as to why he is saying that. My brother told a girl he once dated that he didn't believe in marriage, when he met another one he was ready to tie the not. Make sure it is not a farce on his part. You deserve to know why! The real reason why.
Is it you, him, or something he has seen or experienced from other peoples marriage.
2007-01-11 07:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by starsmoonis 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My boyfriend is the same way. You need to figure out why he is like that. My bf is because his Mothers side of the family all have had failed marriages. Some rather just be with someone without all the legal paperwork. If you love him and this is his decision you cannot chnage his mind but stick by him. The only way my bf changed his mind was because he wants kids and I told him- No kids until Im married. You need to have enough to support why you SHOULD bemarried and try to convince him it isnt a big deal.
2007-01-11 06:58:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jene 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If a girl I liked didn't believe in marriage (like most people today are) I would have a deep talk with her about family, the future, marriage, having children, and what she thought about that with me. If she isn't into it, then she wouldn't really be into me as much as I thought. It means she would not see being with me forever, and only for the moment. That means I take relationships more seriously than she would, and eventually we would get to the point of ending the relationship because our needs are drastically different.
Maybe thats similar to your situation with your guy.
2007-01-11 06:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is one of those make it or break it decisions. How important is getting married to you? You certainly aren't going to be able to make him feel any differently than he does. You can hope that he might change, but if he doesn't, how content would you be?
For me, marriage is a really important thing and if a guy is not willing to make that committment to me, than I would to keep accepting applications (if you know what i mean). I believe there are a lot of potential mates out there for everyone. No need to sellout on what's important to you for the sake of one person. I'm certain you could find the right match out there for you.
2007-01-11 07:06:31 · answer #6 · answered by slickchick 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends on how important being married is to you. Does he see a future with you like a family? If so ask him why not marriage then I guess you figure out what you want to do from there.
2007-01-11 07:17:04 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if i were in ur place i would have immediately leave him. coz loving doesnt only mean having feelings for eachother and physical relations. it sm thing beyond that - love is the happiness of today and a promise or commitment of tomorrow.if ur boy frnd doesnt believe in marriage, what does he want from u? i think u should talk with him clearly and if he still not convinced then u should leave him thre s no otherway, sorry sweety. i think u have a long life ahead, and u r a very sweet girl, anyone would love u so be happy and hop for th best in ur life.
2007-01-11 07:01:20 · answer #8 · answered by StylishT 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you believe and he doesn't, it will never, ever work. If you stay you're setting yourself up for a lot of heartache, frustration, anger, and you'll be cheating yourself out of something you want and deserve. I've had to leave someone I loved before (because I knew it was the emotionally healthy thing to do). It was hard, but I did it and you can, too.
2007-01-11 07:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to get married! I would stay with him just because I love him. He might just be saying that he doesn't believe in getting married because he is scared of that commitment.
My boyfriend has always said that he wasn't getting married and now he wants to. It just took him along time to be comfortable with it!
2007-01-11 07:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by charmz21lucky 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋