What would you do if you and your spouse were in the middle of separating, you both already have 2 children under the age of 3 and you just found out that you are pregnant with your husband's child? What if he wants you to have an abortion? The separation is inevitable. I think that abortion is the only possible thing as I can't imagine raising 3 kids "on my own".
Please help. And please don't make this into a anti/pro abortion answer.
Thanks.
2007-01-10 22:10:23 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
honey i would hate to be in your situation but only you can make that decision. you need to way up the odds. can you afford a nother child, will you be as good a mother to 3 kids or better with two. but things happen for a reason so who nos . i guess you just have to no weather you are going to be OK with your decision either way you go .i my self have had an abortion when i was 16 ( i was pregnant with twins)at the time i didn't want to but was given no choice by my parents. iv always hatted them for this . but having said that I'm now married for 12 years with three wonderful kids and have a very stable home life (thank you god) but that would have been very different if i had my twins. i still think about them alot and get sad from tI'me to time, but im content in thinking i did long ago do the right thing for me in that situation. ppl can rave all they like about anti abortions or rights to life, but their not going to be living in your life or looking after and paying for your three children so you honey and you alone need to make piece with your decision and i wish you all the best of luck
as I'm guessing this will be the hardest thing you'll ever have to decide.
2007-01-10 22:59:52 · answer #1 · answered by trcyhanna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to think about this and weigh the pros and cons. I can't imagine raising 3 children on my own either. There is nothing wrong w/ having an abortion. The Supreme Court gives us the right to do that. On the other hand, it isn't the right decision for some women. Don't feel like you have to just b/c your husband says so. Also, if you feel this is the right decision, take a close friend or family member w/ you to help ease the pain. You can also try adoption, but again this is YOUR choice. Good luck to you
2007-01-10 22:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason for everything. I had the same problem 4 1/2 years ago. I had two kids (ages 1 1/2 and 4 1/2) and discovered I was pregnant in an unhealthy marriage. Against my will, I had a consultation for an abortion assuming it was covered under my insurance plan. The procedure was to be done 3 days later. I cried and cried knowing I was about to destroy a life inside of me.
The phone rang- it was the doctor informing me that my insurance would not cover an abortion and if I wanted it done, I had to pay $500 in cash. My husband and I didn't have that kind of money. I was so relieved and my husband and I agreed our only feasible option was for me to continue the pregnancy. Fortunately, our marriage got better and eventually I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who looks just like me! I have tears as I type knowing how precious she is and how I almost aborted her. She's my little angel and I love her immensely.
My advice to you is to continue the pregnancy. It will all work out somehow. Don't have the abortion. There is a reason. God is sending you an angel.
2007-01-10 22:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by Teddy Bear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first let me say, you said you can't imagine raising 3 kids on your own, you've done a fine job so far right?! i mean from what i understand the other two are not your husband's children correct? sorry if i am wrong. anyway. abortion or adoption? there are pros and cons with both i am sure! the decision is an important one, research your options and go with what your gut tells you! you do afterall have 2 children and need to take them into consideration as well. I can suggest going to a planned parenthood in your area. they are very good and will give you all your options and they will be there to support you through what ever you decide! Good luck! Just remember do not do things for anyone else or what anyone else suggests, go with what you feel!!!
2007-01-10 22:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey i've just been through exactly the same senario. My third pregnancy happened during the middle of our prolonged seperation. I kept the baby & he is now 7 months old. I live alone with my 3 kids & couldn't be happier. I am very, very busy & my house is a shambles but it's ok. Financially i get a single parenting payment from the govt. & work 1 day/wk. I get cheaper childcare as a single parent & many other benefits. My ex is now building a good relationship with the baby he didn't want to keep & all is basically well. I think that if you would like to have this baby then it can work well for you. ps. i started on antidepressent tablets after the birth just incase. Anyway by baby number 3 you've got it down pat & should find it way easier than the last two. Anyway that's my experience. Hope it helps. Best of luck.
2007-01-10 22:19:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mishell 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I personally would have the baby. Although it will be hard you'll still be able to do it. It is completely up to you whether you keep the baby, adopt it out or get an abortion. No-one here can answer that for you, it is completely your decision alone, not even the Father can decide for you. Do what is best for you and your children. I hope everything goes well for you and you have the strength to make the decision. Good Luck.
2007-01-10 23:52:17 · answer #6 · answered by Monkey Magic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are in this situation ( my sister is kind of going threw a similar situation she cheated on her fiancee and is pregnant and was consindering abortion to keep him from finding out but she is starting to change her mind ) When ever I talked to a help line they said if your not absolutely sure than you should not do it, because afterwards you would regret what you have done. I have 3 kids and yes my husband is in the picture but I know that I could do it alone if I needed too. Good Luck hope it works out for you
2007-01-10 23:26:14 · answer #7 · answered by ?Sherbear ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an overwhelming decision to have to make, and I offer you my sympathies. I suggest a consultation at your local family planning office, where you will be able to obtain counseling to help you through your decision making process.
That being said, the wording of your question makes it clear that you already know what the answer is for you. You are not a bad person, you are a sensible person who knows what you are and are not able to manage. I also suggest confiding in a friend that you trust to be discreet and who you know to be open minded on the abortion issue. Counseling may help tremendously, but nothing beats that person that you can call at 3:00 am.
Good luck.
2007-01-10 22:26:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I honestly would have the child if i could afford to take care of 3 children, but that would mean more contribution from the father monetarily.There are many people in the world that want a child of their own that cannot conceive.Girl, next time, get on some BIRTH CONTROL!!I know, it's too late for that now and you feel stupid, but these things happen.I would discuss this at length with the father and be nice.Divorce is a nasty thing anyway.
2007-01-10 22:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by hippyp23 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry you are having troubles with your husband. However, since you have two children, and loved him enough to make a third with him, I can't see that separation is inevitable, as you say. You two should go to counselling, and seriously reconsider being a family again. Since you are already a mother, how could you possibly consider killing a baby?
2007-01-10 22:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋