what is your opinion on this poem i wrote?

Question

Global warming

I for one think it is about time, time we die may be cry for the last time if there is one, see the after life.
I’m tired of this crime
I’m tired of the war on terror it is no different but cold blooded murder they also strike the innocent and say they hit al qeeda the governments are corrupt the will never be a true leader

When the echo system runs out let it be gods doing let him hit us hard judgement day come.

Answer 1

I think you're trying a bit too hard to force your words into a subjective rhythm.

I like your sentiments, because you express them with power, but I think you should consider expanding on each of them, and let each sentiment (global warming, war on terror, distrust of government) "breath" a little.

Good luck -- keep writing!

Answer 2

Hhhmmmm, 'dreary' is a word I'd use in my summary. What has terrorism got to do with global warming? This is more an expression of your state of mind as opposed to that of expressing your concerns of the damage being done to earths eco-system.

Perhaps if the title was changed it would actually have an effect on the way the reader approaches and percieves what you are trying to communicate. Very deep though, a canny effort.

Answer 3

The brevity of your poem barely touches upon terrorism, war, global warming and corrupt governments and the day of judgement. My personal opinion is that it has some merit and definetly can withstand some reworking to convey how you feel.

Answer 4

Wow, what a perfectly horrible work.

You started with a buzz subject. You whined. You parroted the news. You made a broad generalization.

You misspelled eco-system, forgot the word it, then continued in run-on fashion, ending with the perfectly reasonable misspelling of judgment...and the total desstruction of everything about the English format of constructing poetry.

How about this one...

Global Warming

Al Gore scares me with his inane pet issue.
Schwarzenegger got it hard in the tail in his Cali dealing...
Now he is saying give illegals healthcare...
and the sanctuary cities will grow...
leading to smog and a Latino Los Angeles...
And Aztlan will rise as a real threat...
while we worry over Global Warming
amid record snowfalls...in Colorado.

Deny Deny Reality at all costs...
Liberals, smarmy mimmicks and dolts abound...
Money is what makes the world go round,
and if I had any,
you wouldn't be reading me...
for I would be contributing to Global Warming,
pumped up on a 6.0,
dropping all the freaks on the sidewalk below,
breakin out to the Casino Royale,
wonderin like a white boy at the genius of Wierd Al...
then I'll be poppin to the honeys with my weakass riffs...
while my mufflers churn out the CO2...
oh no, what am I gonna do?
while I charge down the block and strap dat ho,
drop all the freaks on the sidewalk below,
helpin global warmin in my 6.0...
WORD!
Hehe,
right,
ride out...

Answer 5

I first was doubtful about the poem as to its poetic quality, but I kind of think it rings a bell in all of us, echos our sentiments and so as modern poetry goes, I'll give it a thumbs up.

Answer 6

I think you should stick to prose and express your views that way, even then you might consider your punctuation more to make what you write convey the meaning you wish to express with greater clarity.

Answer 7

sounds a bit more like a speech than a poem

Answer 8

Good sentiment Alitte more work on construction woul make it perfect

Answer 9

Not bad, sounds a bit like rap lyrics to me

Answer 10

That is not a poem.It's a mixed up statement and a bad one at that.