We had a relationship of allmost 4 years. When ever I talked about getting married He would change the subject. Now after a 6 month relationship with someone else, he is getting married. I feel very bad. What can I do?
2007-01-10 21:49:52 · 17 answers · asked by NENA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How Can YOU Move On?
You want to move on, you're almost ready to start fresh...but for some reason, you're still stuck on someone from the past. It's a common situation, and everyone's been through it at some point or another. But what can you do about it?
The first step to getting over a relationship and moving on is to see REALTIY clearly.
When you can't seem to get over your ex-love, ask yourself this: are you in love with him the way he is NOW or the way you want him to be? If you are in love with what you want him to be then you are in love with an imaginary white knight - and that's the case a lot of the time for a lot of people who are pining.
Try this:
Make two columns on a piece of paper. Write down all the qualities you attributed to him when you first met him on one side.
On the other side, write down the way he treats you now -
- good and bad. Then compare the two.
The way he treats you now and your actual experience of him is the reality you need to take a hard look at!
It should not be difficult for you to kiss his bad treatment goodbye.
God Luck , dear...Good folks are out there--my best gal pal just met a DREAM of a man on Match.com--after 10 years of single motherhood, and she never imagined there'd be another Love in her life! They are getting married next year!
She is happy!
It can happen for you, also!
2007-01-10 23:59:13 · answer #1 · answered by susieque 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I try to understand your pain.Its really hard bcoz we women immdiately think that there was something wrong with us and that is the first thing that comes to our mind although this is only one of the possibilities and not the whole thing.You know better than anyone what went on in that 4 years of relationship and you have a pretty good idea on what type of guy he was . If the reason that he has done this is leaving a big question mark in ur head,you can ask him based on the situation however i wouldn't if i were you coz it might hurt you more and what's done is done and the reason might not change anything.About what he's done,i think that men change alot year by year when they are younger(so do women)minute by minute even. And you can't say OH HOW COME U SAID THAT TO ME AND NOW YOU ARE SAYIN THIS TO HER?and generally speaking deciding to marry someone in 6 months is really really a rush coz marriage isn't something u can decide on in such a short time and it's probably more lust than love or an unsuitable reason such as that.and when he wasn't able to decide for 4 years what he wanted from his relationship with you and finally realize u want different things,its unlikely that his new decision is really based on good reasons.My advice is that you start feeling good about urself and regain ur selfconfidence by spending alone time and quality time with people who make you feel good.Try to remind urself of how speacial and unique you are and heal ur wounds so that you can come out clean and healthy,And remember Loving a man is important ofcourse but knowing and loving urself is the most important thing u can ever do.
2007-01-10 22:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by noosha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation. I was with a guy for 3 years. He was abusive to say the least so I got rid of him. I met a new man and we were married within 8 months of meeting because we just knew that we were meant to be together. I never would have married my EX.
I just knew from the very second I met him that my now husband was the one for me for the rest of my life.
2007-01-10 21:57:35 · answer #3 · answered by His Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were with him for 4 years and had intimate knowledge of his aversion of marriage and real commitment. His fiancee only knew him for six months and is marrying him? She doesn't know what she's in for!!! Just imagine their ugly divorce and that poor girl trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You'll know... Be glad you got out before you got married and had a child with the guy. The right man is out there for you, stop looking backwards and you'll find him sooner. Good luck.
2007-01-10 22:01:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. Wish him the best of luck and move on. Whatever the reason, you weren't the one for him, or he wasn't at the marrying place when he dated you. This happens.
It has nothing to do with you. It takes two people to have a working relationship and only one to screw it up. You were into the relationship as something serious, he wasn't. He screwed up. Happens.
2007-01-10 21:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wish him all the luck in the world, while thinking to yourself, BAD luck
get some guy he doesn't know to stand up and object to the wedding and profess his undying love for him (the groom) and their "relationship"
remove his distributer cap and pour motor oil on the windows of his car during the wedding
crash the reception while drunk
accidentall on purpose, spill some thing red on the bride, groom or both
make a long rude toast to "the rat bastard and bride", include,"I give it 6 months"
tell everyone there that he's hung like an infant
make some calls pretending to be the bride and cancel ALL the arraingements
2007-01-10 22:17:55 · answer #6 · answered by green-eyed monster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is work your way forward. It's going to be painful, sometimes the ones we choose t love aren't worth it, but you never know that going in. You will move past this, but it will take time.
On the other hand, I don't give his marriage much of a shot - sounds like a rebound.
2007-01-10 21:58:13 · answer #7 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know that he moves on quickly so he must not of had what he wanted with you or it would be you @ the alter. Sometimes things just don't work out. You can find someone who will be good to you! Be patient
2007-01-10 21:54:50 · answer #8 · answered by LSD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...Im assuming he's cheating on her and she found out/suspects something...and he's found a quick fix with a proposal.
I'm sorry, im an evil vindictive ***** so i think of the most horrible things but...slash his tires, or break something of his that he values perhaps...(it so cliche but it truly does make you feel better.)
She probably lets him walk all over her and you didn't...that's why he going to stick with her.
be happy you won't be her in 2 years, after she finds out what he's *really* like.
2007-01-10 22:08:59 · answer #9 · answered by wickedxjade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing. besides scream, cry, and be thankful that you dodged a bullet and didn't get stuck with this hampster. Talk to soemone who will uplift your spirit, and then jump back into the ocean...plenty of fish out there, and one of them just might be good enough for you.
2007-01-10 21:56:43 · answer #10 · answered by tps20 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋