about spouse cheating and requested paperless bill & hiding cell?

Question

called up de girls # hanged up on me, spouse telling me shes filing restraining order for harrassment against me/him for calling her, its realy been tense at home but still living together saying I have no right callin #s on his cell, have kids together don't know what to do with him cos hes still denying her that shes just a customer but un his bill they talk everyday, text & voice messages which I listened to. but hes still claiming has nothing to do with her, b4 I got to this point did alot of research on her & very confident they have something going on but all the signs of cheating he does not display except for his cell/bill every other thing never changed, but is it possible to be dating a woman & not spend quality time with her, he asked me this question, maybe they always have a quickie or something, pls advise

Answer 1

WOW.... This sucks becasue you have kids but my thing is if nothing is going on then why is he being so secretive about it and on top of that why is she being a witch about the fact that you called to find out! If she was a real woman she would have talked and had nothing to hide but they both do so that is why they are so witchy about this I think. My ex was the same way couldnt use his cell all these text messages and late night calls and not to me! I say tell him its you and the kids or remind him that CHEATING gives you the kids, house, car, and whatever else the court system hates cheating!!

Answer 2

I learned that no one is special in this world, but you have to play it fair in order for it to play fair with you. Everyone has to do the same thing and not mess up the circle. It really hurts to get cheated on or even to be able to cheat on others, because I feel like no one deserves that and be treated with all the respect possible. Other hand, hiding cell and paper bill is also unnecessarily. You have to learn to let each other know whats going on and update with all the bills so they can handle everything in the right proper way. Remember peoples, if you cheat, you have to learn that it can come back and haunt you. So stay fair and be fair to life.

Answer 3

Bottom line, people hide what they are ashamed of or what they know others will not approve of. If it's innocent then he should have no problem with you knowing all about it. My husband has female friends and I have male friends and we hide nothing. We can talk to them right in front of each other and we often take each other's phone by accident and it's no big deal. If she's hanging up like that and being that way, she's probably trying to avoid all contact with the lady she's doing wrong by disrespecting her home and he's even more wrong than her because you are his WIFE. Sounds like it's a good time to start getting things in order for you and your little ones....smells like trouble. Good Luck Sweetie

Answer 4

Most times when you believe your mate is having an affair, you are right. Counter sue Alienation of Affections
Even if they aren't having an affair it apears he has strayed close enough to the fence you know he is going to cross it one day. You know the nature of thier communications, might be time to hire a private detective, if they are cheating they generally are caught in less than a week. oprah had a show on cheating, there is a behavior profile that cheaters go thru. What I remember is 1 very happy, 2 gifts for no reason.3 depression 4 suspects you are cheating - 2 more points i don't remember

Answer 5

You already answered you own questions. He is cheating. Guys can lie and look you straight in the face . Get out get a detective and proof it . Once a cheater always a cheater. They say they change , but all they do is get better at it.
Protect yourself and your children. There is no need to talk with someone and text message every day and several times a day.
You just don't want to admit he is a cheat . Get smart don't get run over by this guy.

Answer 6

I am no expert on this but i have experienced exactly the same situation as yours.
If you really do love your husband & he's worth fighting for, then do everything that's left in your strength to save your marriage & family.
In that tense situation at home, he'd really accuse you for meddling with his life because he's still intensely attached with this other woman emotionally & physically.
Just keep your cool. Dont be carried away by your extreme emotions. Leave him alone but dont neglect your duties as a wife and mother.
Men usually goes back to their wives when they realize that these other women are not for good.
If he'd ask for a divorce inspite of what your did then let him go. You deserve to be happy. You deserve a real man who'd be with you for better or for worse.
You dont wanna be with an idiot & asshole for the rest of your life!

Answer 7

You know the answer...he's cheating. How can you expect him to respect you if you don't respect yourself enough to trust you feelings. Why would he talk to another woman everyday? There are no specific signs of cheating, but he displaying them now. As for the restraining order/telephone harrassment...If she asked you not to call and you continue to, you can be charged with harassment. You can't have a solid relationship without trust and you don't have it. Justified or not, it will never work without it.

Answer 8

Ok let me say that i am sorry you are having doubts.Question is, if he is telling you one thing what reason do you have not to trust him? has he cheated before?(yes, there are always signs)Maybe His"issue" about the secrecy with the phone and the bil,etc is more about privacy...respecting his space.Trusting him enough to take his word. Now, if your gut intuition is telling you different, the follow up on it. Maybe snooping isnt the best way, just flat out aske her. But chances are if he isnt showing any other signs of cheating, then he isnt. Men feel insecure when it comes to "privacy"(meaning space) After all he is no longer a single man every aspect of his life is shared with you, maybe he just wants to feel like this is his?!?

Answer 9

First of all, it's possible to be dating and not spending time with a person, and it's also a fact for them to be doing more than that. Don't let him turn you into a gullible person because your not if you were you wouldn't have sent this 4 others to view. And you should act like you don't care, and if it continues get a divorce. You don't have to put yourself threw this.Worrying bring alot of things. Who knows they could have been doing this 4 awhile, now their both in love with each other in he's in a triangle. That you have the choice to get out

Answer 10

What do the messages say, maybe she is only a customer. Or is he calling her and obsessing over her or are you? Your in a very difficult situation. Try to trust your husband. Counseling, for both of you to try to make the marriage work. If you feel that you can't do that then leave him, relationship is only going to get worse. Besides that there is nothing much you can do.