Hi this is a complicated question but I really need help?

Question

I have a 7 year old daughter who has learning difficulties they think it's ADD some form of autisim and severe dyslexia.
Anyway when she started school at 4 the teachers decided to keep her back a year as at this stage they didn't think anything was wrong with her she has stayed with this class until now , recently the school has started saying that she will have to go back into her original class which means she will be even further behind and will ahve missed one of the years at school .
She is already at the age of a 5 year old and can only just write her name one of the teachers said it would be the worst thing that could ever happen to Lucy but the head wont listen.
I've talked to the education department I'm waiting to hear back from my MP and the doctors are helping.
I have a meeting with school this afternoon and would really like some advice on how be assertive without getting angry or upset I just want them to listen to me.
Thanks to all who answer xx

Answer 1

Has she been statemented? If so, is the statement being fulfilled to the letter? It sounds as if she need a high level of support, maybe even full time. The school gets extra money for this (once statemented and agreed) so if she has no help in class, you can ask the head where the money allocated from the LEA to her care is going.
If your daughter is being educated in a mainstream school as opposed to a special school then she will not progress without proper support.
Sometimes, a child will do better in a special school environment as the teaching staff are 100% geared to their special needs.

Answer 2

Go into the meeting knowing exactly what you NEED to get out of it, and don't allow the meeting to close until you have answers to all of your questions, don't be afraid to write down the questions and their answers. That is how assertive people get what they want.

It sounds like this isn't the right school - they all have different methods and it sounds like your little girl needs more 1-2-1 attention from a specialist. Don't despair though, that's the main thing - in other Euro countries, that have far better educational results than our own, children don't start learning to read and write until they are 7 anyway.

Answer 3

I've had almost the same situation as you with both my son's,the eldest went to school @ 4 and a half and was very immature next to the other kids who were already 5 he couldn't do any of his school work but there was never any talk of holding him back he is in p7 now and has extra tuition in class and has a classroom assistant for his written work and helps to explain things to him the school are always informing us of his progress and we can talk to the head teacher at any time.
It's almost the same story for his brother in P4 both kids are bright at subjects that don't need reading or writing art and such like,When the school suspected that the boy were in trouble they got the school psychologist to assess their ability and they are tested quite often to make sure they are getting the right level of help.
Could you not get the school to help by getting this done,
Both my kids have severe forms of dyslexia but it never gets them down at school as they always get help. I think that it depends on the teacher that the children have and so far my boys have been lucky but some kids slip through and never get any help.Where does your daughter go to school England or Scotland as in Scotland we have a diffrent education system.

Answer 4

Prior to the meeting seek out details on other schools in your area that she could go to, then write down all the things you want to say (so as you don't forget anything) and if you start getting angry, then look at your list & pick another subject to talk about, go back to the one that got you angry later. If you do not get a proper programme of help & ways forward for her education, then speak to the schools that you have found out about and move her if she is not going to get the right help at her present school. Good luck

Answer 5

Ask to be referred to a child psychologist, he/she will assess your daughter's ability, and if she gets a 'Statement' that means she will be entitled to one-to-one tuition in the classroom. It will not necessarily mean she will have to go 'up' a class, especially if she has made friends in her present one. Children with these difficulties need all the help they can get.

Don't give in to the Head teachers' pressure, let him know just how far you have gone with seeking help. He is only human after all, and probably sees the extra staff a burden on his funding!

Try your health visitor and the local GP practise, they can give your some advice. However stick with your GP he/she can refer you although it may take a little while to get it all sorted.

I hope it gets sorted soon for you.
Good luck!

Answer 6

Just remember that everyone has the intention of doing their best for your daughter. You, the teachers, the head teacher and the education authority disagree on the method, not on the aims. The purpose of the meeting is for you to make your views known so that these can be taken into account. Don't go into the meeting thinking that you can change everyone else's opinion.

Answer 7

Is she at a special needs school? Or does her school have a special needs teacher? If not then i'd demand she goes to a special needs school as she wont be treated any different from the other kids, and they are great with kids with this! The school she's at probably mean well but make sure she's not getting singled out in school. Good luck x

Answer 8

My brother's teachers thought that he would eventually catch up with his school work, my mum was convinced thathe needed more time and should stay back a year. He was young enough not to care and she fought so hard, at that age no one knows a child better than the mother. If you can't get the answers you want try moving schools.

Answer 9

You are doing all the right things and ticking all the boxes. You seem to have been in contact with all of the people who are best placed to make sure your child gets the best education available. As far as being assertive is concerned - all you need to do is a)dont raise your voice, and b) dont swear! If you abide by both of these, you cant go wrong. That aside, even if you do get a little flustered ar annoyed - who can blame you? Its your child and she deserves the best right?! You do what you can to make sure she gets it - but remember, you can only do your best... and your best, despite what some people say - is ALWAYS good enough :)

Answer 10

This is going to cost you, but I would do anything for my child...Private teachers and home schooling. Then daycare for learning social skills. Or you could look into private schools, that have less of a student population that way the teachers can spend more time helping her. Public schooling may not be the best thing for your child at this stage in her life.