I'm not even in the mood to be here.
2007-01-10 19:47:01 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Ok, here's ten silly jokes, they should at least make you crack a smile.
1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:" A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. A man complains, "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That's the Tom Jones Syndrome," explains the doc. "Is it common?" asks the man. "It's Not Unusual," says the doc.
9. Two cows are standing in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.
2007-01-10 19:56:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u know why u r sad one day and another day happy
that is because of our life
our life is mix between happy and sad , peace and war , nervous and quiet
u can find me happy one day ,sad another day , anther in peace the day after in war , another quiet
life looks like circular u should pass all this feelings and emotions
i will tell u some jokes
Two cows in a field one turns to the other and says "moo" they other turns and says "you fcuker I was gonna say that"
two ghosts at the dinner table one asks the other"can you pass the salt please"
the other replys "who the fcuk said that"
how do you make a hormone?
Wipe yer d1ck on her curtains
what do you tell yer wife when she has two black eyes?
Nothing you've told her twice allready
George Bush throw a press conference to announce his disgust at three brazilian journalists killed in iraq he pledges Americas intent on "bloody revenge" when the conference ends his aid says to him "that was a bit strong Mr President" george bush replys "I know but excactly how many is a brazillian"
Supermarket
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "You know, I've lost my wife somewhere in this huge supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife suddenly appears out of nowhere!!!
Two weasels are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!
The other says: 'Go home dad, you're drunk.'
A man walks in the kitchen with a chicken under his arm and his wife is standing there. So, the man says "How do you like the pig I been f**kin'?" His wife looks at him and says, "That's a chicken dumb ***!" The man says, "I was talking to the chicken!"
2007-01-11 03:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love to help you, but black and white words are hardly happy, even if they tell a joke. Chatting may help. Sex always helps. Watching a movie like "Pretty Woman", or reading a good book sometimes helps. The thing you must remember is that somewhere out there, there is someone who does not give a s*h*i*t. WOW, they must be really constipated. LOL
2007-01-11 03:53:45 · answer #3 · answered by Joseph L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell you what I will ask a queston. It will be: What do you think of boston terriers? Go to it and aswer, and I will pick you as best answer-10pts. Will that help? Also I am sure things will be better after a good nights sleep. You are probably pretty and have lots of friends so how can it be so bad?! Smile!
2007-01-11 03:52:37 · answer #4 · answered by Elvis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey princess...did anyone ever tell u how sweet and nice you were?? well i am...u r a caring person, i look at your profile and i dont think you should be in a bad mood coz alot of people love and care for u....cheer up chicky :) hope u do...
2007-01-11 03:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Mandy :) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
fill the bath tub, light a few candles, grab a good book, put on some good music and just relax. It works for my wife. give it a shot.
2007-01-11 03:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by hermespgc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I'm sorry. I need someone to cheer me up to!!!
2007-01-11 07:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by loves_travelling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man was drowning and a boat came "get in" said the guy "no god will save me" then another boat came and the man said "get in the boat" he said " no god will save me" so he died and went to heaven and asked god " why didn't you save me" god said " i sent you 2 boats you dummy"
PS. I got it from the pursuit of happyness
2007-01-11 03:51:30 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok um lets see??
Oh ok here I go:
Your great, everyone likes you, your smart and pretty and a good person. Does that help?
2007-01-11 03:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by evilive 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheer up, we want you to be here! enjoy yourself and forget about it all for a while! *Hug!*
2007-01-11 03:51:13 · answer #10 · answered by Whava 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋