my friend wrote this poem and i was just wondering what other ppl thought about it.
Please, Just stop.
I don't want to know
what you do with her.
I don't want to know
why you won't choose me.
Ugh, just stop!
Stop invading my mind.
and please just leave.
I can't take anymore lies.
There will be no more cries,
no more sighs.
Just stop, and go away.
And maybe then I'll be okay.
But God, will I ever be?
Gosh, I just don't know.
I want to be tough,
and show I don't need you
Even as a friend.
Even if I have to lie
as you lied to me.
God,just stop!
Stop making me scream.
Stop making me hate you.
Stop saying its over,
stop telling me I've lost a friend.
God, isn't it so unfair
that you get to be happy?
when all you leave me with
is a broken heart?
God, just stop.
2007-01-10 18:22:40 · 9 answers · asked by sweetxbloodx91 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
That's not a poem, that's a cliche.
2007-01-10 18:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by ourxtrees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to give honest opinions on poetry and other writings.
And in my opinion, this needs more developement; it's redundant.
If your friend took out words like "Ugh", "God" and "gosh", she'd be off to a better start.
Also, I see some errors in grammar and punctuation.
Your friend should continue with poetry, over time it will flow better and her poems will make more sense.
I get the impression a young teen wrote this. Maybe by the time she is at the college level, her poetry will have evolved more.
If writing is something she is interested in and/or passionate about, encourage her to take some writing and poetry classes.
2007-01-11 02:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by Desiree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before giving my opinion....1 question,was this poem written to u or did ur friend just write it out of poetic frenzy?? coz what i understood from the poem is that ur friend has been hurt by a friend and out of hurt and saddness he/she has written this. if its for u, u seriously need to think what u have done to hurt this friend or if ur friend has written it casually then its from some grief that someone whom she thought to be a friend has given him/her and she/he still cannot accept it and misses and loves this friend very much.
2007-01-11 03:16:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a song.
2007-01-11 05:59:13 · answer #4 · answered by mikejolyemsegun2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so she wants to go out with God?
2007-01-11 02:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like typical angst.
If this was not written for you, don't worry about it!
2007-01-11 15:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by Lilly S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds/looks like lyrics
2007-01-11 02:51:20 · answer #7 · answered by little.clown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple words and short sentences... but why does she always use God?
2007-01-11 02:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by van 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
consolidate, less repetition and better structure
2007-01-11 15:29:56 · answer #9 · answered by Marvin R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋