I am in the middle of a divorce. My wife, who just got out of rehab was given temporary custody of our baby.r

Question

I am fighting for full custody, due to wife's addictions. She's leaving our baby, who is now 22 months, with my wife's mother. This woman had performed such acts of abuse on her own 3 children that they were placed in foster homes a number of times. We're talking about tying kids up, putting a gun to their heads,and threatening to kill them. She also took part in wife's rape before she was 12 years old. When we went to court for temporary custody we did not have wife's psychiatric records. We now have these. My wife's records reveal all of the aforementioned. My attorney says there's nothing we can do at this time. She said that since my wife is the custodial parent, that she can leave baby with whomever. Does anyone have any suggestions about any actions I might take. I have begged to allow me to keep her, but she says she will not deviate from the court order, which only allows me 1st and 3rd weekends. It also states that I may have child at any other time agreed upon by us. Thanks

Answer 1

By the sound of it, you will probably win custody. The courts will always give temp custody to the mother if it appears that she is trying to get her life together and make an effort. The final custody decision won't be made until all proof is laid out on the table, which you will do. In the mean time, just keep an eye on her at all times and her mother. If you have to hire a private detective to watch them. If anything happens at all that could be viewed as neglectful the temp custody will be revoked immediately and the baby will be handed over to you. You also have rights as the father, but you will also have to prove that you are the better parent and can give this baby a better life. When I was 14 my dad fought custody of me because my mother was abusive, he won after he proved his case, before that I had to stay with my mom until the final decision was made. So if it does turn out that she is a unfit mother, the custody will be handed over to you. For now just keep and eye of her very closely and if she makes a mistake let your attorney take care of the rest.

Answer 2

Your situation sounds too familiar. You will need to show some patients, which trust me, is hard to come by when your baby's well being is at risk. You will have to just be patient, document her substance abuse problems, and when you have some ammo, have your attorney file for an emergency hearing. Protective services should also get an perliminary statement from you, for in the future i am sure they will be involved. It doesn't hurt to get a jump on it. Careful that you don't try and deprive the babies mother from seeing her at all, just won't happen, nor should it. If that is your intentions are, you are wasting your time. Violent criminals have been allowed parenting time. Just so you know, you are being the responsible one, but that doesn't mean the system, both judicially and morally think that is enough to deprive baby and mamma.

Answer 3

I hate to say this, but I would have to agree with your lawyer...there isn't much that can be done until you're able to get back into the court. What I would say is to be on your ex's good side as hard as that might be and do your best to not express your concern about the grandma with the hopes that your ex will give you your daughter out of the goodness of her heart. Since she knows that you disapprove of her mother I would imagine that she knows she can "get" to you by leaving your child with her mom. The kinder and nicer you are to the ex the better chance you have of getting your daughter from her on the weekends you're not suppose to have her. I would recommend that you get a court date as soon as possible as well. And, be sure to document anything that is suspicious with your daughter when you have her as well as how often she is left with the grandma. Check her for any bruises, suspicious issues...that sort of thing. Don't put words into her mouth and don't drill your daughter...just ask her how things are going with grandma if she's able to verbalize that to you. Blessings to you all...

Answer 4

time to seek more visitation.. keeping her residential at this time but the more visitation u can get the better.. most local visitation also includes 1 night a week, and if u have liberal visitations then u can see ur child anytime u like as long as u give notice and she has nothing going on, if she constantly says no, u record it down every time she says u cant see ur child.. i would make week ahead of time arrangements to pick up ur child several hours a few nights a week.. make a log of all times ur with ur child, all times ur denied ur child.. all times that u offer to watch ur child while shes at work but she sends the child with the grandmother.. log everythinggggggggg all phone calls, etc..if u can, take some time off from work, few days or a week and give her a month notice of such, ur entitled to spend lengthy time with ur child..and with plenty of notice she cant deny u.. get ur place set up for a child, a room with toys and such, to show pictures of a stable environment to the judge, get all ur ducks in a row, with child care preperations to show that if ur given custody that ur ready.. unfortunately theres not much u can do till the final hearing..but u have to prove ur the most stable parent and that u want to be with ur child all the time.. which means u have to be almost perfect because it is very hard to take custody from a mother.. so ur going to really have to prove your case and be ready for everything that can be thrown at u.. and log all interactions good and bad date time etc..
I really commend u , dont give up even if they are stupid and give her custody keep taking her back to court keep fighting.. my father had custody of me, and he couldnt of been any more perfect of a parent.. So dont give up..u can do it..

Answer 5

Going through a court battle for custody is one of the hardest things you will go through. What is important is how did she treat the kids when she was living with you? If she just go out of rehab. why would they give the kids to her? What is real important and hard to do is when you are in court or mediation keep your emotions out of it. Pretend you are just talking about some kids you know. Only bring up negative things about your ex that effect the kids and not what she has done to you. Journal everything down the kids tell you or that you know for sure is going on today that can affect the kids. You can file an emergency ex parte if something comes up that you believe you need to get the kids away from her. Lawyers love to drag out these divorces and it seems like they are always saying they can not do any thing to help out the situation. If your wife has addictions the court needs to know. She should only get supervised visitations until she proved to have her life together. Do not give her anything to go back to court with. I had an ugly divorce. My ex sexually abused all three kids and I was in domestic violence. My oldest son was left with him (so I could get out safely). I thought I would get him back through court right away. It took me one year. We did not have attroneys at first. I knew he was living in a drug dealers house and I sent social services there to investigate. Then the owner of the house did not want him there so he went to his moms where he was not supposed to be. And without telling the whole story I finally had someone who would testify about things I had known were going on and when I had my visitation with him on a monday. I picked him up from school in the morning and went straight to the court house. I filed for an emergency ex parte and had him added to the custody I had with the other two childern and restraining order. I told them I had to do this without serving him for safety of my child and the risk that he could leave and I would never see him again. The judge granted it and we had our hearing a week or so later so he could respond. It worked out for me after that through mediation and experiecne of going through it all prior with him and it going all wrong because I was so emotional and just unexperienced. Are the kids old enough to talk about things in mediation? Are they telling you things about abuse while with their mom? Please do not say any thing about the mom in front of the children but listen to them and promise to protect them. And do not accuse her of things you do not know, about or are not going on. Good luck to you! It is a long tough road but the right things will come from it if you do it right. Keep the attorney if she has one but if she ends up without one you can save a lot of money and do it yourself.

Answer 6

Just be there for "your" child ...but some places consider this..
What you say..Cause they cannot believe you didn't have some idea bout all this..If you care about about your child be cool.
If you think they ,your child will "actually be harmed" But
you may have known this."As i said they believe" What ever your accustaions are..They may thinkj the fun ran out with you...
So why should your ex bear all what your asying...Thats dumb .Stop slanderizing your ex. Or you will be in court forever..
"Realise!" StOP...I'm sure they will love the sick soap opera...

Answer 7

I remember when my dad was fighting for custody for me and my sister... it is very important to document everything that goes on both positive and negative... since this is just a temperary position document calls made, conversations amongst eachother where the baby is are they smoking document everything... this is your proof if you would... best of luck!

Answer 8

Listen to your lawyer. If you go against your attorney's advice you could hurt your future chances for custody.

Answer 9

you can appeal all by yorself and you can call social servises to if your child is in danger you need all the proof you can find and use it agenest her you need to do what is best for your child and that is to get her out of harms way dont let your attorney lie he could do spmething if he wanted to by showing new things in the case

Answer 10

get a new lawyer ...i got my 2 kids on alot less then that