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Van goes to England for a holiday.
At the airport, he spots a really beautiful girl and decides that he will go and have a chat with her.
He walks up to her and asks "So, what's your name?"
She replies "Carmen"
Van says "Wow, that's a nice name, did your parents give it to you?"
She replies "No, I actually chose it myself. I like cars and I like men so I put the two together to make Carmen"
She then asks Van "So, what's your name?"
Van says "Brandewyndoos"

2007-01-10 17:53:41 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Travel Africa & Middle East South Africa

18 answers

HE HE HE! Funny one! Here's a few funny stories...

"Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak - the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a ********?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever ! asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

2007-01-11 23:20:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Absolutely terrific. It simply is going to exhibit, it's not relevant wherein on the earth you're, the South African feel of humour continues our flag flying top!! I additionally rather loved Tony's shaggy dog story!

2016-09-03 20:20:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Love the way non-South Africans struggle with this. Just imagine what brandewyndoos sounds like in English pronounciation......hahahahaha!

Pity about those who always try to spoil a good joke by proclaiming to everybody that it's "old". Good one Unreal Hero!

2007-01-11 02:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by Vango 5 · 2 0

LOL. Silly but typical of Van.

2007-01-12 21:33:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anria A 5 · 0 0

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h - I'm still laughing at that, dude. Very, very funny.
Some numbskull is going to get offended, though, and it'll probably get pulled.

2007-01-11 08:21:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

pmsl goeie een maat

2007-01-11 00:06:29 · answer #6 · answered by stevieboy69 3 · 1 0

Hahaha. Jy's ongeskik!!!!!! Goeie een. This is not old to me, so two thumps up!!!!!!

2007-01-11 03:15:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Ha ha ha ha ha
Nou dis 'n goeie lag.

2007-01-11 02:59:20 · answer #8 · answered by TakeNoticeNow 3 · 1 0

Hie hie hie!!! Goeie een.

2007-01-11 02:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by poepies 4 · 1 0

So he likes boxes and brandy?

2007-01-10 18:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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