how do i get over this???? advice please?

Question

how do i get over feeling like my boyfriend ex is better than me??? i feel like she has a better life than i do,and everytime i see her i feel like i have what she use to have.....and i dont like feeling like that. i dont know what to do. i feel like my relationship is about to end because i dont have enough confidence in me,and my boyfriend ex does,i feel like she is way better than me. but the weird thing is;is that we are just alike in so many ways including how we look,our personality. and i just dont know what to do? can anyone give me advice???? no bad advice please

Answer 1

okay, lets put it this way...
she is his ex, because for whatever reason, it didn't work out with them. just because she may look better or seem better, doesnt mean she is. people that seem like they're awesome on the outside are generally the worst people.

For example. i recently (this time last year) left my ex. he was an engineer for Intel, making an enormous amount of money, living in a two bedroom house with a garage and a huge yard. we had a pool, blackberry and rose bushes, expensive tv and stereo, even a projector/theater room. I left him and started dating a guy who works tech support for DirecTV, and we just recently moved out of a studio apartment into a 1 bedroom apartment.
comparitivly, it seems like i downgraded. like i went to someone who wasn't worth as much. but my new boyfriend makes me so much happier than my last one did it's ridiculious.

forget his ex. i know exaclty how you feel though. when i first started dating my last boyfriend, he kept telling me about a stripper hottie that he refused to date even though she was amazing and sexy and all these other things. then a couple years later i met her, and about tripped, and choked at the same time. she was gorgeous, sexy and, well perfect. yet he picked me over her. i felt so embarassed, and, inatiquite (sp?) i felt like i wasn't worth my boyfriend if he could have someone like that.
of course, now i know he was an a**hole and im glad i dropped him, but still, your feelings are natural, just look in the mirror and realize how great YOU are.

also, i've noticed that as a general rule, you will resemble the ex. most guys go for a certian type of girl. my ex, every girlfriend he had in his lifetime was shy, short, skinny, and brunette. my current guy tends the same way. short brunettes, that are very outgoing. (i happen to fit into both catagories, since some days i'm really outgoing, and some i'm really shy.)

so celebrate your man. you're with him. his ex doesnt matter. its just you, and him. you're good enough for him, or else you wouldn't be together. Period.

Answer 2

The best way to deal with that is think even though she used to have ur man but u have him now can make him happier than She can other wise he would be still with her. Think i mean he kisses u every time he see u not her. U can always look better than the ex. someone once told me to always look better than the ex. That way if she ever walks in the room u want to make sure ur man keeps his eye on u not her. So what if ur just alike that shouldn't bother u. i u really like him don't let stupied stuff like that break u up.

Answer 3

I think I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation once... but that was years ago. Anyways. It's so painful to feel like you're not good enough. When I was young I had (have) a sister, and I felt she was always better than me: better looking than me, more talented, everyone wanted to be around her, everyone wanted her. In a word, she was the better sister. I felt as if when she was around, I would fade away, she would glow, and i was as dim as ever. I won't go into anymore detail, but just know, sweetie, you are two are different, not either one of you is better. Why do you think you are with your man, and she isn't? Because you are you. Don't let this kill your relashionship. She's out of the picture, and don't let her get back in if you don't want her there. Good luck and God bless you :)

Answer 4

you and this girl may look alike and have similar personality traits, but you are not the same person. you need to look at yourself and her and focus on the differences between you. I am sure you'll find things that she does that you would never do or vice versa. After all you are with your boyfriend and she no longer is. For some reason their relationship didn't work out, and (aside from your own insecurities, I'm assuming) yours is. My point is nobody is perfect and neither is she. Take that to heart and let the jealousy go. Focus on having fun with your boyfriend!
Good Luck!

Answer 5

the one thing she doesn't have is him right? Its normal to be this way. I think every girl gets this jealous feeling. And there will be girls out there jealous of you also. You confidence will develop in time. Do small things like exercising, studying hard and being an honest person will help you feel better about yourself, even w/out a boyfriend.

Answer 6

"Better" is a word that really means nothing when it comes to who people love and want to be with. So before you actually cause your boyfriend to leave you because you are annoying him with obsessing over your feeling of inferiority to his Ex, just think about this for a second: Why did your boyfriend choose you? If you weren't the better one, why would he be your boyfriend and her EX?? He obviously wants YOU not her! And isn't that all that matters really?

Answer 7

I think you should tell your boyfriend how you feel. I think that would be the best way to get over it.

Answer 8

everytime you see somebody look depressed or in a worst situation, just see yourself as better then them to make your self feel good about it-..when you learn to love hell youll be in heaven!