He was convicted over 15 years ago, but his punishment was relatively light. He is still married. He's now living on a LARGE pension/retirement. And he(and his forgiving wife) travel all over! Nothing in his life changed, but mine was forever altered. I was talked into allowing his sentence to be light and even terminated early. I was extremely young and didn't know any better. Nor, did I have anyone, in the form of an adult, to guide me in the direction that was right for me. This man was part of my stepfather's family, so my mother thought it was best not to make any waves. She told me I was strong enough to handle it. She reasoned that he was old and didn't have much time left. It happened more than 15 years ago and the sicko is still kicking!!! I've dealt with it the best way I knew how, but I want some type of revenge! I can't help it! And, because it happened so long ago, he doesn't apply to any of the newer sexual abuse laws. Shouldn't people know if they live next to a monster?
2007-01-10 16:55:17 · 6 answers · asked by A.Stoner 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This advice comes from a guy who was emotionally abused and mentally abused by his x-wife. The best revenge you could ever give him would be success. I know it is very hard dealling with the anger, hurt, frustration, and feeling vulnerable, but it works. Your mom chould have helped you get some help when this happened instead of stand idle. This has obviously hurt you very deeply. First you must let it go, I know it's hard but it's hurting you now more and more. Secondly, you will always remain a victim if you allow yourself to be one. I had to have help through counseling and I talked about it often, it helped me get rid of the anger. Write a journal, put an entry in every day, it helps to vent your anger and frustration better if you write it on paper. Write him a letter telling him how you feel, don't hold anything back. I'm not going to tell you to send it to him, that's your choice. You must let it go and if you need help, seek counseling, it works.
I will say a prayer for you.
2007-01-10 17:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by juanb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry that this has happened to you. It isn't fair and you have a right to be angry with him.The thing that is important now, is that you live your life and be happy. Even if you were to get your revenge, it would not get rid of the anger and unforgiveness you have. You will never be free until you can get those bitter feelings out. Hatred and bitterness doesn't hurt him at all, but it is poison to you. Here is what I recommend. Confront him, either face to face or in a letter, and remind him of what he done, and how it has affected you, both then and how it is affecting you now. Make it very clear how he has messed up your life. Then, tell him that you have every right to hate him for what he did. Then tell him, that in spite of all he did, you are choosing to forgive him. Remember, God has forgiven us of our mistakes when we didn't deserve it, and he asks us to do the same. Doing this wont fix the past, but it will fix the future and free you up to move on with your life and get rid of all those bitter feelings. You may want to get a counselor or pastor to help you thru this. Ask God to help you forgive him. I do counseling/ministry work and have helped many others get thru similar situations. Let me know if f I can help. Hope this helps. :)
2007-01-11 01:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't believe there is anything within the law that you can do
to punish him...
Now if you want some personal & private revenge, this is certainly
within the realm of possibility and only limited by your imagination.
For example, set him up with some attractive woman who will
seduce him and take photos for his wife...
2007-01-11 01:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want revenge, it's clear that you haven't been able to move on with your life. I recommend that you find a qualified therapist who can help you with the difficult things that you are going through. Hurting your molester will not make you feel any better. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
2007-01-11 01:01:54 · answer #4 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would tell the whole universe. Also forgive and when you do that you are freeing yourself. I think you should seek some kind of counseling. I think also if he do it once he would do it again to someone who less competent than him since he is old. Like younger children,
2007-01-11 01:04:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a survivor, I understand your anger but the only one who suffers from it is you and haven't you suffered enough?
I'm sure the offender isn't.
2007-01-11 02:06:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋