Im a dude by the way. My two best friends hooked up this year. Their names are Wendy and Charles. I have known Wendy for over ten years and I know Charles for a year. THe problem is that Charles was cheating on Wendy over and over again and I had told him not to because it was going to hurt Wendy. THe last time he cheated I decieded to tell Wendy and i Did. the trouble is that wdny told Charles that I was the one who told her that he had cheated on her. Now Charles wont trust me again. He says he has already forgiven me and he is not angry at me . he want to trust me again but he is afraid,. i love him so much he is like a brother to me. i really really really care for him. he told me to be patient and that maybe with time he will trust me again and that everything will be the same as bfore. I dont know he is really hurting and i dont know what to do; if to call him everyday because he is away on a trip or to just give him time.. What can i do to get him back!!!?
2007-01-10 16:55:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Another thing.... Wndy is still hooking up ocassionally with Charles after i told her the truth and after tellinh Charles that it was me who told her the truth after i specifically asked her not to....
2007-01-10 17:35:48 · update #1
if he is upset with you dont call him everyday... he will get annoyed with you. show him that he can trust you. tell him things. secrets and stuff. explain to him that you are really sorry you just couldnt see wendy getting hurt like that, because you care for her. tell him that he means as much as he does to you. if you care about him, stick with it. one of my really good friends, sarah, she has become someone that i really dont know anymore. she is drinking and doing drugs, btw, she is too young for it... and i care about her so much. she is mean to me alot, for no reason, but i stick with it and try to love her no matter what. i try to be a true friend. just do that... stick with him... soon he'll see you really care :) good luck. i hope you get your friendship with charles back to the way it used to be.
2007-01-10 17:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by caseyrae 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are some serious issues here. Charles needs to understand as much as he feels betrayed by you, he betrayed Wendy. Wendy betrayed you, although when you decided to tell her it is not likely for her to keep her mouth closed. I would not have gone behind his back and told Wendy for the exact situation you are in. In some strange way they both blame you because you brought the issue out in the open.
To resolve your relationship with Charles it will take time. What you need to do is rebuild a new relationship with him. Small steps over a long time. Unfortunately there is no short cut. Rebuilding mistrust is very hard.
Wendy is a different story. She seems to have self esteem issues by going back to a guy who walked all over her. She may associate you with a negative issue in her life and subconsciously hold a grudge.
Defending yourself and explaining where you are coming from and why you did what you did will not correct the situation. I will probably just irritate them. Just be yourself and move on. Act normal around them and give them time to heal. When or if they are ready to be close and trust you then they will come to you.
I know it is hard, but don't push them or you will only be pushing them away.
Good Luck
2007-01-18 11:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him the time he asked for. You've apologized. Wendy told him something she shouldn't have, but maybe Charles just wore her down. That's water under the bridge. If they get back together, then it's none of your business anymore. If Wendy gets hurt, she's been warned, and it's on her. As for Charles, tell him the same thing. You're out of it. BTW, Charles is a crumb, and you're going to go through this again. A cheater is a cheater. Do you want to go through this again and again?
2007-01-18 04:48:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why is he mad at you??? He's the pig that was cheating on your friend of TEN years. She needed to know. Shouldn't you be the one that doesn't trust him? You have your priorities mixed up. You should be worried about Wendy and pissed off at him for hurting your friend. If he doesn't trust you anymore it's cause he knows he'll get caught cause you have some integrity. Give him Stime to wallow in his own pity and be there for Wendy. I'm surprised you didn't beat him down or something. How does Wendy feel about all this? I know you feel bad for betraying his trust, but your friend of ten years needed to know this. If she found out you knew and didn't tell her, she'd be mad at you instead! It's a tough choice, but things will be ok. Be patient.
And if you still want to be friends, that's fine. You'll just have to be patient. He'll start trusting you when he feels he can get away with it again. Ok? Good luck!
2007-01-10 17:06:30 · answer #4 · answered by meghanw1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you did the right thing by tell Wendy that Charles was cheating on her and also Charles if he really liked Wendy then he would stop cheating on her and you should be happy for what you did even though you might feel a little or lot of bad in you but i personally think you did the right thing.
2007-01-14 16:27:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Charles should be the one apologizing to you for having to put you in sight of his cheating and hurting your friend Wendy.
Time will tell whether he will overcome his embarrassment and make a good relationship with Wendy. It's up to Wendy to continue with Charles now and if she can trust him. It may have helped Charles and Wendy to a long and lovely relationship and they will have you to thank really. ;) peace
2007-01-10 17:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well guy first he was wrong for cheating and if he gave a damn about wendy like you do he would have never done it! also he can't face that you stood up and told the truth about him, now the old saying is that you never interfere with peoples relationships because all they do is run back leaving you in the middle. maybe wendy is looking to be miss treated so next time just let her walk in on them.
2007-01-18 03:43:38 · answer #7 · answered by Rhonda B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you're in love with Charles there man. I mean you told his gf so that she would break up with him and then you said you loved him and you seem to care more about his feelings then your friend for 10 years Wendy ...Whats up with that ?? shouldn't you be sorry to Wendy for not telling her that her bf was cheating on her sooner ?? I mean you owe Charles nothing...You did nothing wrong. But you might be a little gay there man.
No offense but he desevered what he got.
2007-01-10 17:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that what you did took guts, and you did the right thing. It's hard when someone you care for does something wrong, but is also hurting someone else you care for. I think that to heal your friendship, you can explain to him why you told Wendy, but that your sorry you hurt him in the process, but you had to protect Wendy, from his foolishness. Good luck, and really, just try talking to him, and be honest.
2007-01-14 14:54:21 · answer #9 · answered by mysterious girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look to be honest, this just proves that this person is a true friend! Because i have a friend and he just would blow up and probably fall out with me and make me hurt as much as i hurt him! But the fact that this person has taken into considertation how good friends you are and that hes not gonna let it go! He's said to you look i need time and we will be back to normal again! Trust me this person cares for u as much as you care for them. and i would just give him more time and he will come back when ready!! x
2007-01-17 12:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by CrazyGal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋