How can someone be so horrible?? I was w/ a guy for almost two years, although it was long distance, he seemed

Question

almose perfect, but fell in love even with his flaws. We spoke everyday and night and saw each other as mush as possible. He professed his love for me all the time. But he kept a secret from me that he had a child with a one night stand before we met. This caused him so much pain that made him feel suicidal. He didnt want a child w/ some girl he didnt respect or care for. Now that I helped him come to terms, he met his child & in a matter of weeks he decided to leave me to be with the mother. I helped him sooo much with his suicide situation, I thought it was a mistake, thats what he made me feel and I know he felt that way. But whats worst is he showed no regret and was very cold to me.Doesn't he realize who was there for him,I am the one who told him he should be a part of the childs life,I helped him come to terms with everything and I can't believe he did this to me.Of course I said hurtful things and now he wont even speak to me, making me feel bad. How can someone be this way?

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your pain and what you are going through. However, let's look at this logically for a moment:

Fact: He had a one night stand resulting in a child and didn't want to have anything to do with the mother or child.

Fact: He obviously has mental health issues because he was 'suicidal'.

Fact: He treats people who help him like dirt.

Aren't you glad you found all this out before anything serious happened? Seriously, be thankful for your blessings. Think of it as a narrow escape and try to meet someone in front of you.

Answer 2

Chances are, he may change his mind about his involvement with the mother - after all, she was a one-night stand and they have no real history together - or do they ?
Was she a friend, and then *something* happened, or was she a simple pick-up on a Friday nite?

You did the right thing by encouraging him to see his child, because it's the child who's important here.
I know you're hurt - but honey... you did a good thing, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
He's made a hard decision of his own, so try and be understanding. He may not have the emotional strength right now to explain himself, but if you try to keep calm and continue to be understanding, it will make more of an impression on him than if you say hurtful things.

*hugs*

Answer 3

First, love is a gift that doesn't ask anything in return. If you two weren't engaged then there was no commitment. He may have felt responsible for the child and decided to do the honorable thing. Sounds like a good thing. Our emotions cloud our judgment.

Answer 4

OK selfish much? He has a child. Dont you think it is best for the child that the parents be together? Sure, you helped him through somethings...wouldnt you do that for any friend? Get over it and move on.

Answer 5

Forget bout him. I know how much he helped u and, at this time, both u and d mother needs him. She needs him for her child and u need him cause in d midst of helping him with everything, u fell completely in love. Even decent men would hav had to make their choice here and think it over and try to seee whom he should hav chosen- who needs him more. All d best!

Answer 6

Of course he said he didn'tlike or respect this other girl, but he DID sleep with her, so she wasn't as horrible as he led you to believe. You just helped him make up his mind. By blaming you, and being mad at you, he can leave you without feeling guilty about it. He's very immature for acting like that, and you deserve better.

Answer 7

You found a bird with a broken wing, and helped it heal. Now it is time to set it free. This is how wisdom grows.

Answer 8

Too much baggage. Let him go and look for the right man for you.

Answer 9

easy - they are selfish