Help some days too tired for sex!?

Question

I have a great husband, house, job etc but like I said, job. I work full time and am tired sometimes and don't feel up to sex. My husband helps around the house etc and is great but can be a bit of a pest about wanting sex 7 times a week. I love him to death and don't want to disappoint him but I would be happy with 5 times a week with a couple of days to rest. He tends to over do it and go for 30+ min and when I am exhausted that is too long. I think a marathon will satisfy him at least 24-36 hours but first thing next morning he wants more. I don't have low sex drive just super tired from working plus I get bladder infections so easily (4-5 per year at least) and I think too much sex causes them and I think this affects my libido because I am worried about getting a UTI. Any suggestions. I have talked to my husband and he is understanding but I can still tell he wants it when he wakes up at full attention, then I feel bad for wanting to sleep a day here or there. HELP

Answer 1

I usually don't answer topic's as such, but you know what? I felt that I could add a little more insight/advice to your situation. Plus the capitalized "HELP" at the end, brought out my save-the-day, superman-like instinct. I am a man and I had a similar problem to yours. I was your husband's position though. She approached me about it, and I learned to cope. All your askin for is just a few days off? That isn't much at all. Your allowed a week sometime, sometimes two. Whatever. Sure, as a guy, I wanna have sex every day, but thats just not possible for some women. Here a tip: Just because you want to have sex, that doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex! That's good advice for everyone and anyone reading this. Sex has completely lost its sanctity in this day in age... But back to the topic, like you said, it is hurting you, physically and mentally to do the deed that often. If he can't respect the fact that it is giving you infections and making you completely exhausted then you two have more serious issues other than sex. Respect for example. His bride's body should be sacred in his eyes. Not something that can just be "done" at will.

Answer 2

Try drinking cranberry juice (or take cranberry concentrate capsules) regularly, and pee immediately after sex, to help prevent the UTI's. It works!

I agree that he probably thinks it is better for YOU when it lasts longer - my bf thought the same thing until I told him that I prefer quickies, especially when I am exhausted.

You might want to TRY sleeping/napping for a few hours, waking up in the middle of the night to have sex, then going back to sleep. That way, the exhaustion has worn off a little beforehand, plus you still benefit from the relaxing effects of a orgasm (hopefully). Or maybe you can convince him to cook dinner while you nap after work, so that you are already a little rested before bedtime.

Answer 3

I will tell you that I was in the same situation as your husband. My girlfriend and I would go at it atleast every day and usually 2 or 3 times a day. After a bit of a marathon round she would tell me how good it was and let me know she was a little sore. I understood that we may need to wait a few days. I was totally fine with this and it was awesome after a day or two when she wanted it again and came after me.

Answer 4

Please get your bladder infection attended to immediately by a doctor. Tell your husband that until the infection is gone, you wont have regular intercourse. Instead, offer to masturbate him (or mutually), and give him plenty of oral sex. Let him also play around with your body for a while when you give him an oral or when you masturbate him.
Once his masturbation is complete, he too would be exhausted and wouldnt ask for prolonged sex. When he realises that oral and masturbation also give him adequate pleasure, he would surely understand that intercourse can be very exhausting for a hard-working woman (or for a man) who sometimes isnt in a mood for it.

Answer 5

I'd be having a adult talk with him...and a therapist or Dr.
He may be happy, but you sound like you'd rather skip sex and sleep a bit more. Do you work too much ??? Kids ??? Volunteer??? If you drink more water and cranberry juice you won't have so many bladder infections. ( too much coffee and not enough water to keep the bladder working and clean causes infections...cranberry juice changes the PH in your urine so it won't hurt when you pee...and relaxes the bladder.)

Why not try something else besides straight sex...play with each other, quickies, you dance, he plays....bathtub games ???
In the shower ???

Can you power nap ??? that might help at work...

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Answer 6

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. In the words of Woody Allen: "As for sex, it's not the quantity but the quality that counts. Of course, if the quantity falls below once every 6 months, I'd look into it."

You don't seem to have that problem.

Answer 7

I`ll bet there r plenty of women out there that would love to have ur problem. There doesn`t seem to be a happy medium in this world. Just say "no" when ur very tired, he`ll have to learn that making love takes 2 willing people for it to be good. You need to tell him how u feel about the situation, and stick to ur guns. He`ll not die if he misses his daily fix.

Answer 8

He might be going for the 30 minute sessions because he believes it is more satisfying for you.

Suggest a quickie and see if it works out better.

Answer 9

*** i know the feeling. sometimes i wish he was just a wham-bam-ty-ma'am kinda guy just b/c it's always over an hour long. i think they just have to understand and not be disappointed...lots of guys get it a whole lot less, and they're still living.

Answer 10

Perhaps a marriage counselor could help the two of you to reach a compromise that you can both enjoy.