My long term girlfriend and I have been together for almost years. I have two other children from another relationship in which I have visitation and joint custody. My GF has never and would never physically disapline them and has even said it. She loves my kids to death and has done so much for them. We have a one child of her own and my GF treats them like one of her own. My 6 year old tends to be at time mouthy and loves to talk back, even at me sometimes. My GF pulled my 6 year old by her shirt to get her attention and told her to hush sternly. The birth mother filed charges/warrent of Assult and Battery on my GF. I ask my 6 year old what happend in private and was told that only her shirt was pulled. Is bring alleged charges of Assult and Battery on my GF conidering the circumstances and "OVERKILL"? I think it is and is completly over the top.
2007-01-10 16:08:34 · 19 answers · asked by Frustrated Boi 757 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think pulling a shirt is a big deal at all. Question does your ex have a boyfriend that possibly does something to the 6 year old and she's just trying to pawn it off on your girlfriend because she doesn't have the guts to turn him in?? Maybe I watch too much lifetime but just a thought. Good Luck!!
2007-01-10 16:17:58 · answer #1 · answered by The_Game 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, lots of chaos for kids in the home. I don't consider it being an assault and battery, it was more of a disciplinary action. If your girlfriend pulled your daughter by her arm and left marks, then that would be considered as abusive. If the birth mother filed charges for a warrant for her arrest, they would have arrested her by now, but there is no proof to where there was an assault against your daughter.
I would consider in you two to get married if you two have lived together for years. Just living together is not a good example for your own kids because that is called "shacking up". There is no commitment being made either.
Seems to me that your kids need some good discipline when it comes down to talking back to a parent. Being that age is a good time to start even. Wonder where your 6 year old learned that from? That shows you that coming from a broken home, the kids is what I am talking about, that they tend to feel the pain too. They need comfort too. Sometimes their behavior could be that they need love and attention. Seeing mother and father separated does that to kids. Look at yours now.
2007-01-11 00:24:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your kids already have a mother. Perhaps you may be a little lax in the discipline area? Maybe she feels she has to step in because no one else is. This is something you might want to step back and take a look at, because seriously...the rearing and guidance of your children rests solely on YOUR shoulders and the shoulders of THEIR mother. If you're not stepping up to the plate, maybe your GF is left with no choice...particularly if they are mouthing off to HER; I wouldn't take verbal abuse from a 6 year-old either.
The troubling thing about your post was that you mentioned that your 6 year-old loves to talk back---even to YOU sometimes--which means that MOST of the time, she's talking back to OTHER PEOPLE. Where are you when that happens, and why is it still happening? Take charge of this situation and explain to your GF that YOU will handle the discipline of your children (and do it!) and that if she has a problem with the kids, to come to YOU about it (and handle it!).
As for the assault charges...yeah it was overkill and your ex overreacted to an emotionally charged situation...but as a mother myself, I'll be damned if I'll let someone else manhandle my kids, or try to overtake my role in their lives. You're in the middle here and it's all up to how you handle this.
2007-01-11 00:36:36 · answer #3 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely over kill. At 6 years old they are picking up what they see every where and are testing all boundaries. Children at that age are out of the baby stage and are trying any thing that makes them older. If I was in your gf shoes the same thing would have happened. Your ex is threatened by you gf and is trying any way to get rid of her. You and your gf have years invested Why just a gf? She loves you and your kids and if discipline needs to happen you 2 should handle it together so the child sees a united front.
2007-01-11 00:21:21 · answer #4 · answered by fabulosity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you have one of those psycho ex's eh? Pulling a shirt is no big deal, geez, are we as parents supposed to just let kids do whatever they want? That's why some kids/teens/young adults are such horrible jerks nowadays because parents are afraid to discipline them! Back in the day that child would have been smacked or spanked, which of course I don't advocate, but you can't just let them get away with everything.
So good luck, I hope everything works out for you guys, sounds like you have an awesome relationship going.
2007-01-11 00:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not assault and battery, and depending on where you live, your GF would have full rights (if you agreed) to give your child a spanking with an open hand. Grabbing a child by the shirt is not assault, and since your ex wife was not there, then this is slander. Get a lawyer and prepare to sue your ex in court.
2007-01-11 01:37:00 · answer #6 · answered by Foxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She had no right to pull her shirt. I probably would have done the same thing. Maybe your ex did overreact, but tell your gf that she is never to put her hands on any of the kids again. There are lots of other ways of disciplining children. Take a parenting class. They are great.
2007-01-11 00:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not even close to parenthood so I don't know, but from babysitting experience and a weird habit of culture-studying, I think that your current girlfriend has no right to treat your kids like hers just yet. Don't let your kids ever forget their mother.
However, there is no doubt that you love your kids as much as your ex-wife, so this is something that can be handled between you and your girlfriend. Your ex should trust you into looking out for your kids best interests. If she doesn't trust you with this, then you need to talk to her and set her straight.
2007-01-11 00:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by The Little General 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on this. She only pulled her shirt and scolded your child. Of course you know this goes deeper than what happened. Your ex is still holding a resentment towards your new girl because of your new relationship. Tell your ex she is way over-reacting! She knows your daughter is a handful and she should be thanking your new girl for just staying around her and letting the child know she is wrong and that behavior won't be tolerated in your household>
2007-01-11 00:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by saturn man 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the ex is a lil jealous, or maybe something got her down and decided to take u down also.. your gf sounds wonderful to ur kidspulling by shirt is no big deal the mom is just tryin to milk for all she can get outta it, including making you and your gf miserable... sounds like a case of baby mama drama!! after this ur gf may distance herself from the child because she is bein cautious about whats next
2007-01-11 00:15:48 · answer #10 · answered by candyas 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋