How do I redefine myself after being so closely in love with my husband. He just died end November 2006.?

Answer 1

I'm very sorry for your loss... I have been through it too.
The best advice I received is that recovery is different for everybody. The important thing to remember is that whatever you do to get yourself through this is the right thing. You may receive lots of advice and answers to your question (including my own), and whichever you choose to follow, and whichever you choose to ignore at this moment, you have made the right choice.
Some people say take it day by day. I agree, but sometimes it may even be minute by minute, or hour by hour. Whatever it takes to get you through that minute, or that hour, or that day, is what you need to do. Ignore some responsibilities, read a book when you "should" be doing something else, be a little rude to someone, whatever... And you may find, as I did, that you can see your recovery by the length of time you are "getting through". In the beginning, it seemed every minute was a struggle, then every hour, eventually I could make it to lunch, and then to bedtime. Then days, and weeks... now, three years later, I am actually starting to plan my future again. But that was my schedule. Take your own time, do things when you are ready to do them. Also, I would suggest that if people offer you support, cooked meals, babysitting, whatever, take it! Also, understand that other people, even friends, may be afraid to talk to you or offer you support. Sometimes they need a little encouragement. Once in a while I would "reward" myself for getting through a tough day by asking someone for a favor.

I hope I could help. I don't need any points for this answer...that's not why I wrote.

Take care of yourself.

Answer 2

First let me say how sorry I am for your loss.

Although I understand what you mean by wanting to "redefine" yourself, I would have to tell you that rather than redefining yourself, you should embrace who you are now because of him...that will be the truest honor to his memory. I lost someone very close to me and some of the things I did to get me through were little things like consciously wearing his favorite color, cooking his favorite meal for myself, and even keeping a little white votive candle burning where he used to sit. It has to be a CONSCIOUS act though...the purposefulness of it is what differentiates it between the act of embracing, and the act of simply not being able to let go. Eventually, (trust me on this) you will simply find yourself being okay.

Answer 3

I'm sorry for your loss. I would think the first thing that you need to do is grieve the loss of your husband and best friend. You need to take some time to rediscover who you are as a single person.
I am newly single as well and I have learned the you need to discover yourself again. Just go on with your life you cannot stop living because you lost someone that you love. I'm sure he wouldn't want you too. I'm sure he loved you and would want you to be happy. Don't be in a hurry to move on everyone recovers at their own pace.
Good Luck!

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, all I can offer is my sympathy and a couple of ideas.

Try taking a class through your local community college or Parks & Recreation department. Maybe there are some community groups that are doing interesting things that you'd be interested in. Call up friends and go out for dinner or live bands or something like that.

Answer 5

properly this occasion is loopy, frightening, and unhappy. i think of that even nevertheless her husband died and that they did no longer propose to get envolve, does not provide then a fashion out of what they did. They knew what they have been doing nd did no longer care approximately you and ur toddlers this certainty could desire to enable you comprehend that he does love this female. If the reason he stayed with you is that he desires to exercising ordinary your marriage by way of youngsters and trully no longer for the user-friendly certainty that he trully loves then you definitely staying to gether isn't properly worth it. You seem to have a good heart and being on your very own would be frightening on the beginning up yet i comprehend which you will locate actual love and happiness in the long-term. No i does not stay, he could desire to be gratefull for having a good female. i might go away and start up a clean existence with my toddlers understanding that everyhing would be alrit in the top. i in my view ought to no longer stay with a guy that has betrayed his kinfolk, and that i could not at all forget approximately and that on my own might make, lovemakeing and a difficulty-unfastened courting toooo complicated and hurtful for me and my toddlers.

Answer 6

I am sorry I don't have an answer for you but I am truly sorry for you lost. First I know you need to grieve. You also need to remember what he did for you what your relationship was and how you want to be treated now. Don't worry about defining yourself. Be who you feel comfortable to be (NOT WHAT COMES EASY). Don't find yourself in people but be who you were before you met him. That's what attracted him to you in the first place. Trust your gut and love yourself before you get involved with anything ,LOVE or CAREER.
Take care

Answer 7

You poor thing I am so sorry for your loss I can't even imagine life without my husband.I would be lost without him as I no you must be.Words are just words to you right now .From the bottom of my heart I am truly and sincerely sorry for your loss.Please hang in there.

Answer 8

im sorry for your loss, it just take time to heal from losing someone that you love, but you will see that the pain will go
away, you will alway have him in your heart but as time go you
will start to live again just take one day at a time. god bless
and keep you thought this.

Answer 9

I am so sorry for your loss. It's going to take time. Let yourself mourn and one day, you'll wake up and be able to think about what you want to do.