My boyfriend of 6 years said something hurtful today, what should I do?

Question

I'm 20 years old and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. I always thought that we'd get engaged sometime during my Junior or Senior year of college and get married after. We have never talked too too serious about it yet but he did hint a couple months ago about a ring but hasn't said anything about it since. Also since we graduated high school 2 years ago he hasnt been doing too much, just been going from job to job showing no interest in college and just a little interest in the military. So today he started talking about the military (which he planed on joining after high school but didn't) saying he is thinking about trying to get into shape this next year or two and then joining. And then I said that would mean you'd join right when I graduated college, and he goes well it's not like we're going to get married when you graduate but if that's the case and we wouldn't get married 'till he was outta the military I'll be 27 and by then I was hoping on thinking about a kid

Answer 1

tell him how you feel.

Answer 2

It sounds like he is feeling pretty frustrated at his situation. You both are young - there's still time for marriage after he figures out if he is or isn't going into the military (or college, or another job, or whatever). If he does decide to go into the military you can still get married. He may even be more open to the idea after boot camp.

If an early marriage is a deal breaker for you then you need to talk with him about it. If you're not on the same page then ... well, like someone else said, "there are more fish in the sea."

Answer 3

Uh, what? Why would you wait until he was out of the military? And if he's considering the military as a career, maybe he'll never be out of the military! And since you're in college, why don't you worry about your career more than popping out a kid? Otherwise, what was the point in even going if you just want to be someone's mom. Focus on your other goals for now especially since it doesn't sound like you or your boyfriend will be able to afford a kid.

Answer 4

What you really need to be thinking about is: Do you want to be stuck with a guy who does not have any interest in doing something with his life? If you are already 2 years into college and he hasn't even decided what he wants to be when he grows up, he will end up either living off of your income or resenting you for making more money than he does. Either way it dosen't sound good. Also, I was a military brat growing up, we had to move alot, and my dad had to leave for months at a time. Is your career one that will allow you to get up and move where ever you need to?

Answer 5

Very hurtful, but some guys like to be able to support their future family before thinking about marriage. If he wants to get his career of graduating military. You have to respect that and let him do it. Most military men marry soon anyway due to benefit increase. You wouldn't want to be pregnant and him not having a decent job to support you or the baby now would you. If it was meant to be, it'll happen. 6 freaken years is too long. But a lot of young marriage doesn't work. Maybe 27 isn't too bad. Just get pregnant right away after marriage. At least it'll be before you turn 30. you should be good. Good luck.

Answer 6

I would have to say he isn't real hip on the getting married thing honey! He would have made at least a proposal by now if he was. And if he goes from job to job and procrastinates about joining the military I would have to say he is afraid of commiting himself to ANY thing that is to long term. I would tell him what you would like your future together to be and if can't agree then I would say SEE YA!!! You sound like you are very mature and level headed and smart so there are many men out there who would love to have a woman like you!! Good Luck!

Answer 7

Break Up! You guys have been together for 6 years and it sounds like he's not interested in getting married or going to college. Casually date other people,just to see if you do still want to marry him.If after a couple of dates with other guys,you still want to marry him,then talk to him about your plans for the future and ask what his plans are and try to compromise,so that you can make this relationship work and become a happily married person,but please at least date one guy just to figure out if your boyfriend is who you want to spen the rest of your life with.

Answer 8

set down and have an adult conversation with him if he leaves and goes into the military without giving you the satisfaction of a real answer or some hope of a decent future then bail out and get a real man for your very own one that will Cherish you and talk with you about every little thing that comes along one that communicates with you and you have to step up to the plate also start talking to him not us here..talk that is the key

Answer 9

You have nobody to blame but yourself. If you were interested in marriage, then you should have said so from the begining of the relationship. The guy used you for sex for six years, and is now talking about leaving you. Sorry but he doesnt love you, and doesnt have any respect for you, otherwise he would have proposed years ago. Move on!

Answer 10

Obviously you two aren't on the same page. What you think is important, he doesn't. You need to express yourself and stop assuming so much. In the end you may come to realize that you two really aren't that great of a pair, and there is a good chance he won't want to help create the life you wish to have.

Answer 11

You're wasting your time. He has no intentions of marrying you. Get out now. He doesn't know where he's going, you on the other hand have goals and ambition. Look for someone that you have common interests with.