So my boyfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months. Go-figure though, that we are nine months pregnant. We are in love, and we live together. My main question though is what last name should I give our baby boy...the fathers or mine? Here's why I even question it...
My boyfriend hasn't paid for anything yet...and i literally mean nothing. I have purchased at least two thousand dollars in baby stuff...and he hasnt even given me a penny. He refuses to attend Lamaze classes with me or attends any doctor appointment, and never helps around the house. I work full time, on my feet for eight hours a day(I am nine months pregnant), and he doesnt have a job, and doesnt ever look for one. He hasnt ever paid any rent, utilities, groceries, etc. I no...i sould leave this guy and find someone new...but the truth is this question isn't about me and him...its about the baby's benefit. Should our son have his paternal last name, maternal last name, or both?
2007-01-10 15:19:45 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
give him your last name!!!!
2007-01-10 15:22:42 · answer #1 · answered by wendylotr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the question really is about what is best for the baby....then a good father figure would be more important than a name. I would give the child your last name and move on. Love...you state you are in love but what he his showing is far from love. Do you really think he is going to change? Don't put the kid through a dead beat.
2007-01-10 23:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by steelnpleasure1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off...ppl are gonna say leave the dick because he doesnt sound liek he loves you. Sounds liek he is a lazy bastard who is taking advantage of you sweety. You think he loves you but if he did..hed of been there for lamaze, doctors ect.. and hed be working so you dont have to at 9 months. Sounds liek a pathetic loser. Leave him. Even if you decide to be stupid and stay with this man...give the baby your last name. Until this guys gets a job and starts being what we like to call a MAN and marries you and does right..dont give him the bennefit.
2007-01-10 23:27:35 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would go with your last name. It's ultimately your decision, but (I'm not trying to be rude or hurtful here) to me it doesn't sound like your boyfriend cares very much about you or the baby. I know this question isn't about your boyfriend, but maybe you should be asking questions about that situation. I think that you sound like a very responsible person that is trying to give your baby a good life in spite of your situation and I'm sure you will make a wonderful mom. Nobody likes to be alone, but in the long run, I think you would be happier and your baby probably will be too. Sorry I probably shouldn't have said all of that, but I don't think anyone deserves to be taken advantage of like that. But as you said that is something you will have to work out for yourself. But think about this. If you give the baby his last name that gives him more legal rights and more say so in what happens. Maybe that would be good. Maybe it wouldn't. But in light of some of the decisions you're going to have to make in the near future, I would give it a lot of serious consideration. I truly hope things work out for you. Good luck with your baby and your future.
2007-01-13 04:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Child Of Thought 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would keep your last name for your baby. And its not because he hasn't paid for anything or any of the other reasons you have mentioned. It sounds more like to me he doesn't want anything to do with your or the baby - sorry - don't mean to sound harsh - just telling it like I see it. He obviously has no desire to be a part of your babies life. But you don't need him. You seem very self sufficient and your baby will be lukcy to have your last name and you as a mother. BTW, my friend just had a baby and is unmarried. She is using her last name for her son and she is very happy that she decided to do so. Congrats on the baby and get rid of the baby daddy!
2007-01-11 16:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by hollyberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Sounds like you got a winner there!? Well, that's really tough to say. I think I would give the baby your last name. I think you have like a year or something to change it anyway. If not, they do it through court too. It doesn't sound like dad really much wants to be there. does he? All of the good men I know, take care of there women when they knock em' up. That's total B.S. that he's making you do all that by yourself. Tell him to be a man, grow up, and start to help take care of his family. If not, ditch him cuz he's just there for the free ride.
2007-01-10 23:41:25 · answer #6 · answered by momathome 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would either give the baby your last name or both last names. I did that with my son his father and I wasnt married at the time of his birth so he has 2 last names
2007-01-10 23:28:21 · answer #7 · answered by dyersburgdelilah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the baby your name and make sure he signs the birth certificate. Then when he decides to make a run for it you can tag him with child support. If he never pays then you have no real reason to tell the baby about the dead beat dad. Sorry you got stuck with a Kevin Federline wanna be. Hope you can make a good life for you and baby to be.
2007-01-11 20:40:08 · answer #8 · answered by samantha s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give my kids my last name... good thing too, cuase he opted to never see her.. he never pays... he is a legal and literal stranger.. besides I like sharing the same last name.. it's about equal rights.. so why can't the kid have my last name? Only people that aren stuck in old ways, and societys ways and can't be open minded have a problem with that. But because her dad took off, no one has ever metioned her last name... everyone kinda accepted it
2007-01-10 23:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as i believe that we all should take the fathers name, i really believe that he should have yours. it sounds to me the father isnt stepping up to the plate on the whole ordeal.. i know you love him and all and even you said that this is in the baby's best interest but honey come on whats it going to be like when the baby is born.
THE SAME.
Just keep your baby in the best interest on whatever you decide. whether it is the last name or leaving, if it comes to that.
go with your last name and good luck in all that comes your way
2007-01-14 12:53:37 · answer #10 · answered by mommie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with yours. Of course, I do not know what exactly your situation is, but from what it sounds like the direction you're going in might seperate you two. You would want to give him a name that can he can be proud of and respect, and I don't want to judge the father but I don't know who would be proud of not having a job or trying to help out in any way.
2007-01-11 17:37:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋