your husband was never home? My husband goes out like a teenager with his buddies all the time and I stay home with our 4 year old son. I love children and always dreamed of having at least 2 kids. I am almost 30 and don't know what to do. I don't want to be raising the baby alone and be confined at home while he runs all over but yet don't want to regret not having the family i wanted because of him! I need some suggestions please!
2007-01-10 14:26:21 · 17 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You should talk to him (I know it sounds clishe but it really is a partner ship for the most part) See what he thinks and mention that you'd like a little help at home.
But above all what do you think you should do? T
hink about if you can handle a four year old and a newborn, or if you should wait until your sons a little older or if your sure then go for it.
Its up to you and even if you dont know now, somewhere inside you know the real awnser to this question.
I just have to add on a bit of a selfish reason that my sister and I are seven years apart because my mother thought it would be better to space us since she had a sister one year younger and a brother two years younger (not to mention my father who has 7 brothers and sisters within a 10 year range) but it ended up being worse because once my sister got older she wanted nothing to do with me, there was ALOT of sibling rivery especially from her and i was basicly excluded from her life all together, i basicly grew up an only child and it sucked, but thats just me and we're girls and theres more sibling rivary anway and i'm probably confuseing you right now, but do what you know you want to do.
2007-01-10 14:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this is not the right time. If you're 30, you have another 10 years to have children, so maybe you could wait a little bit. Have you talked about this situation with your husband? It is not fair for you OR your child to be left home alone while he lives as a single guy. I bet the family you wanted included a loving husband who would help you out and standy by you. Trying to build up a family without him participating might be dangerous for your well being and delusional.
2007-01-10 14:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by ferfer1994 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister-in-law's ex-husband (not my brother as my brother is her 2nd husband) was always out and never home with her and their two small children. She was around 30 also. It was a hard decision for her since she had two small kids to think about, but she chose to divorce him. Now she couldn't be happier and they have a child together too so they have 3 children. They spend lots of time together as a family.
If my husband wasn't home with me and our child, I wouldn't have another child with him. I would be very upset with him.
You need to do what you feel is right. Good luck.
2007-01-10 14:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by raindrop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have alot of decisions to make. Seems to me that you may already have two children. Sounds like your husband may be somewhat ditching (or @ least trying to ) his responsibility. I think that you need to sit and talk with him to see where his head is with all of this. Does he know you want a second child? Does he help you with the first? These are things u want to take into account before you bring another life into the world and have to care for him all on your own. If it is something that you are dead set on doing. go for it/ You don't want to live your life always thinking of the would've should've could've's. Just be prepared that you may be doing it Mostly alone. I hope and pray that if you decide to go for it, that you have a strong family unit (besides your husband) to support u......Good luck with your decision and be blessed!!!!!!
2007-01-10 14:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's Mommy!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I wouldn't have another child until you and your husband solved this problem. Its not good to have a husband who isn't going to be there for you and help you out. Did he help you with your first child or was he out all the time with his buddies then also? I would definitely try and sit down and talk to him and tell him your concerns and find out why he is always going out and leaving you home, tell him you want another child but you don't want to be the only want to raise this child and that you want him to be there for you and to help you along the way. If you can't solve it by sitting down and talking to one another one on one.. then a counselor isn't going to be able to help you, I would just wait on having another child until your husband has learned that his family is more important then going out with his buddies every night. How old is he? I mean, I know supposedly guys mature alot less faster then us but by 25-26 a guy should be over this obsession with going out with buddies and drinking and hanging out. They should want to stay home and be with their wife and children. Atleast they should. But honestly if one on one talking to each other doesn't work... I wouldn't have another child with him and I would rethink the situation. I hope all works out for you and I wish you the best.
2007-01-10 15:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by sleepyincarolina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your husband has to compromise with you a little. Try asking him to limit his nights out to once a week. Have him watch your child a couple nights while you go out so then mabye he'll realize the work involved in raising a child. It's certainly not fair to you that he doesn't share in the responsibilities of being a parent.
2007-01-10 14:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by daweeezl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what feels right for you. Remember that many single parents have successfully raised children. You can make it through if that is what you decide. Also maybe you should wait a couple years until your older son is able to help you out in his father's absence.
2007-01-10 14:48:58 · answer #7 · answered by Allison Y 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do what feels right for you and your hubby.
If you are the one staying home and doing most of the
parenting....how does that make you feel? Do you enjoy being a mom.
Are you concerned about your marriage because of your husband behavior...going out and such? Or are you comfortable with that?
Have you spoke with him about what you want? How does he feel.
If you feel secure in your relationship then you should follow your heart.
Best wishes
2007-01-10 14:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have another child until your husband is ready to grow up.
Have you talked to him about spending more time with you and the child?
It's not fair for you to have all of the duties.
He should be able to spend a reasonable amount of time with friends but most of his time should be spent providing for the family and/or parenting his son and being a good husband to you.
2007-01-10 14:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by Desiree 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes! I would have a baby. I would have a baby with a man who wanted a family. You don't want your kids growing up under those circumstances. You can do it. Just make sure you are happy. You can't raise a happy family if you are not happy! Good luck and try to talk about it. But you deserve what you want!
2007-01-10 14:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by Aj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋