Why I had children??? I thought it would be so nice. Now I have a 13 year old...going on 25. She is driving me insane and neither one of us might not survive it. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-10 14:26:06 · 13 answers · asked by Karen 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Believe me I have no intention of trying to be her best friend. Or any other kind of friend. I know that is impossible to do and maintain a parent/child relationship also. We have had 2 good days of mornings and evenings as of this morning. I told her today that the next time she acts in that manner, her Tae Kwon Do will come to a halt. I will not tolerate it. I also told her the next time she does it in the mornings, she will immediately walk to school. It is about 1/2 mile. I don't think that is to far. And it gives her sometime to calm down before she goes to class.
Being Bipolar don't help me to deal with her and she is ADHD. We have some interesting moments in our home. I can say this honestly though, I love both my girls and will do the very best thing for them that I know how. Yes, I am the parent. I know that and believe me they know that too, even though they don't like it.
2007-01-11 01:31:00 · update #1
Pull out the baby pictures and focus......Remember Lamaze and the Breathing techniques.....they weren't just for labor....trust me....they forgot to put in small print...for Survival during TEENAGE years too.
I have a 18 year old boy, a 14 year old son and a 12 year girl that is going on 21.
Triple The Teens.........
Breath.....and more Breathing......those baby pictures are all over the house....special memories...:O)
Best wishes
2007-01-10 15:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your thought that being a parent "would be so nice", was incorrect. Being a parent is hard work and much of the work involves your emotions.
You love your daughter and want her to become a happy, well adjusted, productive adult who is capable of handling the challenges of adult life.
Keep this goal in mind and forget about trying to be her friend or having her agree with your decisions about the limits you set with her. She will challenge your limits and come up with all kinds of reasons why you should let her make all of her own decisions. All of these reasons will be bogus.
Remember, she has to meet your expectations and you don't have to meet hers. You are the parent and she is the child. She has to EARN your trust. Explain to her that she has to PROVE to you that she can be responsible to make more of her own decisions about her life as she demonstrates responsibility in the decisions that you DO allow her to make.
Wait until she is grown and out of the house before you try to be friends with her. After she is an adult she may appreciate all you do to raise her, and, maybe not until she has children of her own.
Being a parent is a big responsibility but you can do it. All of what I have said is not meant to imply that you should not plan to do fun things with your daughter, she needs that too.
2007-01-10 15:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
welcome to the worst part of a girls life. where the hormones start flowing, she starts growing hair and bleeding once a month. i'm sure you're familiar with the concept as you had to go through it too. every bad thing that happens is OMG THE WORST THING EVER!! and every good thing is few and far between.
keep strong. even if she screams she hates you now, in ten years, when she realizes what all you did for her (like keeping her from staying out too late with her boyfriend, therefore keeping her from getting pregnant) she'll be thankful.
good luck, and just remember, explain things. while it wont completely solve the injustice of it all (oh my gods!!!) it'll soften the blow and it might get through to her. (oh, i cant stay up until 1am because i'm gonna fall asleep in my english class tomorrow.)
just remember the biggest thing though, treat her like an adult. the last thing she wants to hear is 'you're too young' 'because i said so' or 'shut up.'
finally, she's thirteen. which means in about ten, fifteen years, she'll be a mommy and you'll get that cool feeling of being a grandmama. :-), which i hear is way cooler than being a mom.
2007-01-10 14:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by tanja_berengue 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont know. I get that feeling sometimes, and mine is only 4 years old. Being a parent is a very tough and demanding job at times. You will get through it. I hear the teens are worse. They are learning to be adults. Good Luck.
2007-01-10 14:45:44 · answer #4 · answered by Allison Y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry! Just remember all those times when she was in your belly and just born and all the things you did for her. Believe me, she might not appreciate you now, but once she has her own kids she will, no doubt about it. I am not saying I wish her to have kids this early I'm jsut saying later in life when she does, she will appreciate all the things you have ever done for her.
2007-01-10 14:33:25 · answer #5 · answered by 1st time momma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll both survive it. And SOMEDAY you'll both be able to look back and laugh. Hang in there. Remember she needs a parent, not another friend. Your job is to raise a responsible citizen. You can do it. What doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger. :-) Good luck!
2007-01-10 15:11:20 · answer #6 · answered by Renee C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might sound awful but relax, take a chill pill, have a beer. I believe god gave us children to teach us as parents. They drive you to the last straw and you have to find the ability to get back up and find different solutions and grow as a parent. Good luck!!!
2007-01-10 14:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
think about the fact that she is a teenager and teenagers are always facing stituations everyday, dealing with issues at school. just thik about how you were when you were a tennager, unless you were one that had a good head on your shoulders. but for now the only way to deal with your daughter is to let her know that you are there for her, just try not to bump heads and tell her what is right and wrong. well of course drugs and all that is wrong, but imean with situations as how to dress and her going out. teenagers are dealing with alot and they just need some support.
2007-01-10 14:32:12 · answer #8 · answered by Dory Ian 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not meaning to bring it up.....but one day hopefully several years from now she will bring some cute little grandkids into the picture.
2007-01-10 14:35:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
THIS IS JUST NORMAL. REMEMBER BACK WHEN YOU WERE THAT AGE AND YOUR FOLKS KNEW NOTHING, THEN AFTER YOU GOT MARRIED, YOUR FOLKS GOT SO SMART. JUST BE STRONG AND BE THE MOTHER AND DON'T LET YOUR CHILD RUN ALL OVER YOU. AFTER THIS TIME PERIOD YOU'LL BE FRIENDS AND LAUGH ABOUT ALL OF THIS.
2007-01-10 14:31:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋