Help Depressed and Confused?

Question

My husband and i have recently lost custody of our daughter due to my parents taking advantage of us at a weak point in our life, on top of that my marriage is failing and i have no idea how to stop it. My husbands family hates me and blames me for losing our daughter, and what they fail to realize is that their son was also responsible. They encourage him to leave me 24/7 and what hurts the most is that he is seriously considering it. I lost my family just to be with him and my daughter which was very stupid on my part i know, yet he refuses to try to work things out with me. Im just so confused. So recently i met a man and slept with him, but my husband knows about it, long story sorry.. so i really like this other guy but he is also in a relationship but has offered to be with me instead. I love my husband but i fear a divorce is coming very soon. Maybe if he was willing to try to work out our problems together i wouldnt even have to decide whether to move on or stay. wat shold i do

Answer 1

Its all depends how you go at him. I think you should pick a day you and him are together alone and just bring it up as a casual coversation. Show him you are strong and see what he thinks about it. Dont make him feel like a failure because i know its easy for him to but all the blame on you because it make him feel less of man about what happened. But if he see you are tring maybe he will step in. If he still dont want to meet you half way. Maybe you should leave. what dont kill you only makes you stronger. Keep your head up.

Answer 2

Here's the deal you guys screwed up bad. But That part is over. The question is now what are you going to do about it. You have a choice here. I always tell my wife and kids that it is us against the world. And we can do more damage as a group than we can as individuals. Turn your phone off, lock the door, and you and your husband decide what is right for you and your husband.

If you decide that you are going to fix this then all of the outside influences must be neutralized. Told that in no uncertain terms will they have an influence on any of your decisions from this point on. And what you are working for is to save your family.

Now seeing as this is family and they are far more familiar than I with the circumstances here they will probably run some interference so be prepared and respond intelligently keeping the end goal in sight.

Getting on to the guy you slept with. I know you heard it said that If they will do it with you, they will do it to you. Think about it.

Good luck

Answer 3

Marriage needs two people working together, it's like a partnership, you give some to get some, a two way thing, and l'm so sorry for you, instead of u trying harder to fight for your marriage you find it better to solve it by another guy, who happens to in a relationship, wrong start.
What l can advice you is, your hubby has made his mind on leaving you and that guy you're seeing is not going to leave his gal as long as he's getting his pie and keeping it, and what makes you think his not going to do the same to you, with what his doing to his current galfriend.....
Gal wake up before it's too late, your priorty should be part of you baby's life even you don't have custody, but do you think your parents will stop their own child be part of her own baby...think about it..
As for your hubby he doesn't trust you anymore, and where there's no trust, there's no hope, so just focus on you be part of your baby girl's life, do the right thing, get a divorce before messing with other men, they cause nothing but confusion in you life, after divorce, get a job and your own place this will show as being responsible in court, when you try getting custody back....
If you love your husband, let him go, if he feels the same he'll be back..

Answer 4

can't work out problems in a marriage going outside of it, but if the reason u lost your daughter is because of him and he is laying all the blame on u, and refusing to admit he played a part, than maybe divorce would be the best thing to do. but at the same time u can't really be sure of this other guy, as he is in a relationship, and may decide he just doesn't need all of your problems. and he does have someone else and u would be hurting that person also. best to just get a divorce, and wait till then to begin a new relationship, why complicate things, focus on changing yourself, and getting your kid back.

Answer 5

well, try to go up instead of down. If ur relationship is that bad and ur husband doesnt help, maybe a divorce is better. (Im not going to tell u anything about ur husbands family bcus inlaws are always problematic, so screw them..) and are u sure u want to be w the other guy? I mean, he is in a relationship and offers 2 b with u, dont u think he might do the same when he sleeps w someone else? All i can say is focus on ur daughter and whats best for her.

Answer 6

Sounds like you need to take some time alone and start getting your life together. I'd leave men out of it for a while. Get off of whatever you're on, and build up your self esteem so that you aren't looking for approval from men all the time.

Be grateful that your parents love your little girl enough to get her out of this emotional disaster area. Maybe you could even let go of pride long enough to have a conversation with them about what you need to do to get your life together, if you can't see it yourself. Sounds like you might be kinda selfish right now....

Get a career, get self supportive, and get your baby back when you can offer her a life without the drama. It'll be a year or two, maybe, but at least your sweet baby will know her mommy loves her and was trying to make a good life for her.

Answer 7

I was feeling sad and sorry for myself BEFORE I read this. Now I realise I don't have problems like you've got.

The smallest problem is the custody of your daughter. She is living in a home which is materially prosperous with her grandparents who love her. She is not seeing the results of the turmoil in your mind and with your relationship with her father and with your boyfriend. Those are good results for her. You can play a role in your daughter's life under the supervision of your parents as her custodian.

In a choice between your husband and your boyfriend it has to be your husband. Moving toward your boyfriend harms your relationship with the father of your child, and also is going to cause hurt to the woman who is his established partner.

Until divorce proceedings become a reality you will need to find the courage to express to the key members in your husband's family how harmful is their influence on your effort to be a wife and a parent.

Yes, you can't fix a problem in marriage by going outside it.

Answer 8

I don't understand the part you said that you love your husband, but then you slept with another man?

I don't know if your husband would forgive you. Try marriage counselor - both of you need to go if you want to do something about this relationship.

If divorce is inevitable, then I suggest you be by yourself for a while to sort things out. I don't know about this other guy; he's cheating on his girl to be with you. What chance do you have with him? How well do you know him? Love is not something to be toyed with. Handle with care if you love yourself and if you love someone.

Answer 9

you have alot of issues here. have you and your husband tried counseling? you have a daughter at stake here as well. not knowing the circustances that you lost your daughter. theres one thing positive at least she is in a stable enviroment at this point. you need to not be in another relationship at this point thats only making things worse. if your husband refuses to work things out you need to consider that divorce thing but only after you two have exhausted other avenues you have a daughter and the example you two are putting out there is not the greatest. i'm trying not to judge you here but even if your husband doesn't go into couseling you should definitly do it for your sake and your daughters. until things stablize i would cut off relations with this other man. good luck and god bless.

Answer 10

I can't believe your entire question is about whether you should stay with your husband or not. Apparently he is a loser and if it is between your husband and getting your child back, your child should be your top priority (not finding a new guy).

You need to grow up and make your child your first priority maybe then you would get your family back.