How did the Ferber Method work for you? How old was your baby when you started?

Question

I have decided to try the Ferber Method with my 3 month old and am looking for feedback from people who have tried it with a baby close to that age. Thanks..but I am not looking for feedback about other sleep strategies...I have tried "The Baby Whisperer" and several other strategies and nothing has worked.

Answer 1

I would never do that, it's very harmful for babies.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp
Science Says: Excessive Crying Could Be Harmful to Babies
Science tells us that when babies cry alone and unattended, they experience panic and anxiety. Their bodies and brains are flooded with adrenaline and cortisol stress hormones. Science has also found that when developing brain tissue is exposed to these hormones for prolonged periods these nerves won’t form connections to other nerves and will degenerate. Is it therefore possible that infants who endure many nights or weeks of crying-it-out alone are actually suffering harmful neurologic effects that may have permanent implications on the development of sections of their brain? Here is how science answers this alarming question:

Chemical and hormonal imbalances in the brain
Research has shown that infants who are routinely separated from parents in a stressful way have abnormally high levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as lower growth hormone levels. These imbalances inhibit the development of nerve tissue in the brain, suppress growth, and depress the immune system. 5, 9, 11, 16

Researchers at Yale University and Harvard Medical School found that intense stress early in life can alter the brain’s neurotransmitter systems and cause structural and functional changes in regions of the brain similar to those seen in adults with depression. 17

One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies. 14.

Dr. Bruce Perry’s research at Baylor University may explain this finding. He found when chronic stress over-stimulates an infant’s brain stem (the part of the brain that controls adrenaline release), and the portions of the brain that thrive on physical and emotional input are neglected (such as when a baby is repeatedly left to cry alone), the child will grow up with an over-active adrenaline system. Such a child will display increased aggression, impulsivity, and violence later in life because the brainstem floods the body with adrenaline and other stress hormones at inappropriate and frequent times. 6

Dr. Allan Schore of the UCLA School of Medicine has demonstrated that the stress hormone cortisol (which floods the brain during intense crying and other stressful events) actually destroys nerve connections in critical portions of an infant’s developing brain. In addition, when the portions of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional control are not stimulated during infancy (as may occur when a baby is repeatedly neglected) these sections of the brain will not develop. The result – a violent, impulsive, emotionally unattached child. He concludes that the sensitivity and responsiveness of a parent stimulates and shapes the nerve connections in key sections of the brain responsible for attachment and emotional well-being. 7, 8

Decreased intellectual, emotional, and social development
Infant developmental specialist Dr. Michael Lewis presented research findings at an American Academy of Pediatrics meeting, concluding that “the single most important influence of a child’s intellectual development is the responsiveness of the mother to the cues of her baby.”

Researchers have found babies whose cries are usually ignored will not develop healthy intellectual and social skills. 19

Dr. Rao and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health showed that infants with prolonged crying (but not due to colic) in the first 3 months of life had an average IQ 9 points lower at 5 years of age. They also showed poor fine motor development. (2)

Researchers at Pennsylvania State and Arizona State Universities found that infants with excessive crying during the early months showed more difficulty controlling their emotions and became even fussier when parents tried to consol them at 10 months. 15

Other research has shown that these babies have a more annoying quality to their cry, are more clingy during the day, and take longer to become independent as children 1.

Harmful physiologic changes
Animal and human research has shown when separated from parents, infants and children show unstable temperatures, heart arrhythmias, and decreased REM sleep (the stage of sleep that promotes brain development). 10 12, 13

Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively. (3) and (4)

Answer 2

I tried it with my baby at three months, but she wasn't ready for it. It was two days of pure, unmitigated hell, and I could "tell" it wouldn't work.

Babies are not able to self-soothe until at least three months, and some aren't able to until six months. I tried again at four months, and it clicked with my daughter. It took roughly forty minutes the first time, twenty-five the next, and from then on it was pretty smooth sailing, with an occassional random set back. (She's always gone to bed at night well, so I only had to "ferberize" her for naps, which, frankly, I think is harder since it's not dark and quiet at that time). You might want to try it again in a few weeks. It could be your baby just isn't developmentally ready for it yet.

I love the method, as, once she was old enough to self-soothe, it has made both of our lives much easier. She sleeps more deeply and is usually asleep within ten minutes of being laid down. I'd say about 90% of the time; the rest of the time, it's my fault...she's either not tired or overtired, or she's hungry or needs to be changed. Once you have your baby "ferberized", you'll learn very quickly when she needs something.

PS...I don't necessarly pay attention to the "five minutes, then ten, then fifteen". With my daughter, she'd become TOO worked up, esp. when I was first putting her down. I went in every 5-7 minutes at first. Nowadays, I go in after three, pop her binky in and, if need be, after another 5-7 minutes, but usually she goes down after the first visit. RARELY do I need to go in a third time, and, like I said, if I do, it usually means something else is wrong.

Good luck.

Answer 3

We tried this method after reading it in a magazine and by suggestion of my mother in law. My son was about 6 mos old when we tried it and it is recommended between 5-6 mos. I will tell you this...it is hard. By that I mean it is one of the hardest things to do listening to your child cry for what seems like an eternity. The way we were taught to do it was to let him "cry it out' until he fell asleep on his own. It did work for us but it took at least 3 nights of intense screaming and crying sometimes for near and hour. My son is now 4 and never was a good sleeper despite the Ferber method when he was young. I hope this helps you a bit and good luck if you try. Don't give up on the first night believe me you will be in tears when that baby cries so long but it takes a few nights to work. :)

Answer 4

The Ferber Method is NOT 'leaving the baby to cry when you feel she doesn't need anything.' You might want to actually read the book before deciding to use, or mis-use the program.

Answer 5

Great suggestions above regarding waiting to "Ferberize" (Ferber himself hates that verb, but it's a functional shortcut) until your baby is 5-6 months old. What I will add is that, if you work to encourage good sleep habits now, there may be no need to go to his method later on. Pick up a copy of Dr. Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." In it the author encorporates much of Ferber's research with an approach that breaks down infant sleep physiology at all stages. I read baby sleep books throughout my pregnancy, so in a way, we began before she was born. We never had to resort to the sort of horrific crying out stories, in part because we were lucky, in part because we laid the ground work for sleep that Weissbluth emhasizes.

1. Dark room, no need for a night light
2. Bright light in the morning, a sunny window is best or in winter a bright room.
3. Recognizing things like day-night reversals and nap consolidation, and gently encouraging healthy sleep habits
4. Recognizing that when an infant or toddler is overtired, they actually lose the ability to get to sleep effectively. The key is to catch them before that tipping point.
5. Teaching the child, through body language, tone, and later words, that sleep is one of life's joys, not something to be dreaded.
6. Through all of this, as much as possible, be on the same page as your partner. Many many children's sleep problems arise from, or are made more serious because of, disagreements about sleep on the part of the parents. I'd suggest both of you reading the book, that way you are not the sole keeper of the sleep info. It will empower both of you to establish a healthy sleep environment for your baby. In our case, my husband and I also began sleeping better than we had in years. The power of good information.

On the downside, Weissbluth's book (at least the edition I had) is rather poorly organized. To be really effective, it's best read through once and then reread in sections as your child approaches the various stages of development.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 6

Ferber Method worked for us. We started when our son was 4 mo.
We had been keeping him with us until he fell asleep in our bed, then we'd move him to his crib. This was OK until we realized that everything had to be the same every night or he wouldn't fall asleep. If either one of us wasn't there he would scream. When we started the Ferber method, he took to it easier than most I think. It took a little less than a week and he never cried for more than 1/2 an hour. Now he goes down for his naps and bedtime without a problem, unless he is overtired, and then he usually only fusses for a few minutes. It is a good method. I definitely recommend it.

Answer 7

Well it depends on whether your baby is taking a bottle in the night or not, that makes a difference. But I started my baby on that method sorta it was the basic principal but my baby got more mad when I went back into his room so I had to let him cry by himself. He was 4-5 months old. I thought it worked very well if you have the strength to listen to the baby cry alot in the first few nights. Good luck!!!!

Answer 8

Whenever you want.

Don't listen to that BS about it damaging a baby. Their thought processes aren't' developed enough to think you hate it or you'll never come back.

Young children need to be able to learn to self soothe. They're healthier and happier than the ree rees that are being raised today by helicopter parents who refuse to let them cry longer than two seconds and breastfeed until they're driving.

Answer 9

3 months is too young, wait till at least 6. However, I don't believe in any "method". You need to do what you feel is right for your baby and you. Imagine for 9 months you were all warm and cozy and naked in the dark, then one day, you popped out into this bright light freezing your naked butt off. Not knowing what you know now, you would want to be comforted too.

Answer 10

i did the same thing with my baby when she started to fall asleep in my arms only or with the bottle only.....i took a long 4 days before she started to calm herself down..then probably a couple more days to fall asleep. i had to comfort her 2-3 times in those first days, this was months ago now and she goes right to bed by herself! its great. good luck

Answer 11

Did you know that Ferber himself repudiated his method, including his admonition that babies not sleep with their moms, as they evolved to do. Ferber himself acknowledged that allowing a baby to cry it out is damaging to the child.

Cortisol is the hormone a baby's brain floods with when it is crying for mommy. this hormone suppresses learning and increases anxiety and depression.

http://roughdraft.typepad.com/dotmoms/2006/05/in_the_news_fer.html


http://www.boston.com/news/globe/magazine/articles/2006/02/05/hush_little_baby/