A family friend of mine just died?

Question

My dad owns a deli and he worked there for 8 years. He was on vacation a drowned in a pool. He just graduated collage after 5 and half years. He was the nicest person i knew. He was always in a happy, goofy moody. However, he had a black cloud over him all the time. He bought a motorcycle and totaled it in a week. He bought a season skiing pass and dislocated his shoulder the first time. I just dont know how to recover from this loss. I am only 14 and it has been really hard and my family is very upset. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

There is a chatroom called: Grief Recovery.

Don't hesitate to go there. They will understand exactly what you are going through and it will be helpful.

There are Stages of Grieving which were codified by Dr. Marion Kubler-Ross. She was the first to counsel with those who were dying and their family. These are the stages:

1. Disbelief
2. Denial
3. Anger
4. Bargaining/Depression
5. Acceptance.

If I have had a loss (& unfortunately I have had several lately), I will write the first heading on the top of a page. Then I will write everything that that means to me in this loss.

Then, I will do the same with each of the other headings.

It is very helpful to do this. It validates the shock and horror and in this case, the outrage at what happened.

Don't be surprized if you get angry at other people - that is 'misplaced anger'. The anger is actually at the death of the person but it gets misdirected to someone or something else.

You are very young to have to deal with grief. I hope you have a benevolent Higher Power to turn to for solace as well.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

It's never easy coping with the death of someone that you care about. Try to remember that it will take some time to get over the loss of this person but one day you will be able to think about him and how he was always in a happy mood. We all go through grief at one time or another in our lives. I lost my sister and then my mother in the course of 3 months, that was hard.
You and your family should sit down and talk about this, it helps to get our emotions out and to cry. If you have a Pastor that you can talk to, that would also be very good.
God Bless You!

Answer 3

first dear my condolences on you loss, dealing with such a loss is very difficult to understand much less come to terms with. the black cloud that hung from your friends sounds like he had a death wish only to hurt himself. i applaud you for your ability to recognize such things as such a young age that shows your highly sense of caring & believe me intelligence. with time i am sure you will evenutally learn to live with loss & use it in your life what i mean you will be stronger for this experience.

Answer 4

live well, laugh often, love much.
Life is not the way it's suppose to be.
It's the way it is.
The way You Cope with it is
what makes the difference.

sorry for your loss