Hubby is pushing kids i am not ready so i am taking birth control to prevent it and wont have s*x with him if there is even a possibiliy of pregnancy (i wont have sex the week i could be ovulating).Is this just a white lie?
2007-01-10 12:46:56 · 48 answers · asked by Joceslyn G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I want to avoid a never ending argument
2007-01-10 12:51:23 · update #1
only 22 turning 23 and hubby is 25!
2007-01-10 13:12:37 · update #2
Lying is always wrong. It will not ever help your relationship.
2007-01-10 12:50:16 · answer #1 · answered by Mangy Coyote 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is no week that you could be ovulating while on birth control because of how the pill works. If you are going to be one of those few women who take the pill properly and still end up pregnant, then it will be from spontaneous ovulation. This is more likely to happen if you don't take the pill at the exact same time everyday, are overweight or taking medication that contradicts with hormonal birth control.
While, I may have suggested that one do this in another answer, I did mention that it's really not a good idea because it involves lying to your husband. It really is almost as bad as those baby crazed women who lie about taking birth control and pretend their new baby was an accident, but in a sense it's better because you are not bringing an unwanted child into this world. It would be better if you just stood up to your husband and say, no, I don't want kids right now, but if he's a baby crazed jerk that will nag at you all the time for a baby then just pretend you can't get pregnant. It's your body and it's you who has to go through the hell of being pregnant. If he's a jerk, he'll never understand that. Hell, even go on the depo-provera shot. That way you'll miss periods (or bleed all the time) and he'll really think something is wrong with your reproductive system.
2007-01-10 12:55:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, having a child should be a mutually agreed upon decision..... to be forced to become pregnant would be the absolute biggest mistake of your life.... Stay on the pill. Sure, continue the lie.... it's a decision for two, not just him, and it is your body, and actually your life, since it will be you who will be doing most of the raising of this child. If you still feel the same after several more years of marriage (you don't ever have to tell him about the pill but after a discussion, and you confess that you want no children, really, then you and he will be at an impasse --- kids aren't something you negotiate -- you either choose to have one or you choose not to have a child or children. And don't kid yourself..... children aren't for everyone, and there are just tons of outraged moms out there, resentful that they even have kids.... I know --- I taught public school for 25 years. And if it is a deal breaker, then you must be prepared to find someone who has the same feelings of not wanting children that you do. I did, and was never sorry, not for a nanosecond. Kids are $250,000 each to age 20, with no guarantees that they will even like you... screaming kids, colics at 2am, teens on drugs, no thank. Instead, traveled the world with another husband, learned to read Egyptian hieroglyphics, Africa, big cats, photography, great career, and still going.... Kids are a real sacrifice..... I'd still be working. Instead, got to retire at 48!!
2007-01-10 13:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have told him you stopped taking birth control and he thinks you are trying, then yes, it's very wrong. You are giving him hope for something that will not happen. After a while, when you do not get pregnant, he will start wondering if there is something wrong with his "little guys". That is totally unfair to him. If you have a loving trusting relationship, you should be able to tell him that you are not quite ready yet and that you have no plans right now to stop taking birth control. He deserves the truth.
2007-01-10 12:53:26 · answer #4 · answered by sammiejane67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat, only it's the other way around, and as much as i WANT kids, I have to say that if he's not ready or doesnt want kids right now then I DONT push him. So we compromised this week and adopted a dog from the shelter. But I would tell him the truth, and if he respects you he will be okay with it as long as you tell him you're not ready and when you are you'll let him know.
2007-01-10 12:52:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no that isn't a white lie! Sorry, but it's very wrong to lie to your husband about birth control.
This seems like a symptom of a much deeper problem within your relationship. If you can't talk about and agree on something as important as when to have children, then you need to take a look at your marriage.
Good luck.
2007-01-10 12:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by the_fatmanwalksalone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say it is just a little white lie, considering kids are a big thing. I really think this is a topic that has to be talked about, and the sooner the better. Later on, what if he figures out, and that could cause problems that could have easily been avoided. It's a relationship, and big decisions, such as this, need to be talked about, or else bigger problems will arise. And still, enough "little white lies" can really hurt a relationship.
2007-01-10 12:52:04 · answer #7 · answered by El Castigo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just not cool. But kids should have two parents that want them so one no vote should suffice as a no period. Of course you don't say what your age is or your spouse. Nor why you do not want kids yet. Fear your capability? Fear something not stable in your relationship? Economics? Being open and honest with your spouse will allow you to both work on those facets and likely make your marriage stronger. Either that or reveal weaknesses and divergent goals and prevent wasted years and false hopes.
2007-01-10 13:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by gatzap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If your guy really wanted to have a baby then it would really be a mortal sin to lie to him. But if you already have kids or you dont want to be pregnant so as not to ruin the "perfect love atmosphere" you just dont feel like telling him that you're using a birth control pill and it's not your intention to lie then it's ok.
But in a relationship or in whatever circumstances- HONESTY is still the best policy.
2007-01-10 13:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by LadyLuv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey- well, communication is KEY in having a good relationship, including a long lasting marriage. Just tell your husband the truth- "the truth shall set you free". If you and your husband are truely deeply in love, and are able to express feelings towards each other-- Than you need to tell your husband your not ready for children. He may ask why- if it just a feeling just explain to him this, he's your companion your the one who would be baring his child, an honor and pride a mother when ready will carry strong and with out regrets. I understand he may be pushing children, but if your not ready you need to tell him, it's about comprimies. I may be a very yong wife because i got married just recently in July. But I can't tell you how much my heart reaches out to you to tell you that "telling the truth will set you free"- you took a vow for life and death, hard times and good times. This is a hard time children is not as easy as the idea seems, my advise to you is if you can't vocally tell your husband to write him a note no matter how hard it may seem expressing your feelings to him about children.
God Bless!!--I hope you find the strength in your soul to keep communication between you and your husband.
2007-01-10 12:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, that's a outright lie. Be prepared for some serious fallout when he discovers it. Not much of a relationship with that big 'ol lie in there.
Y'all need to sit down and discuss this and get everything out in the open, and decide how to handle the issue. Do it soon.
2007-01-10 12:51:04 · answer #11 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋