Wrong to no want to be married anymore??

Question

I am 22 turning 23 and have been married a year to my hubby who is 25.Problem is he wants kids and i dont feel ready?He has always wanted kids young and expected his wife to stay home.This is not who i am or will ever be!My career is just started and i dont plan on kids for another 3-4 yrs.I will never ever be a house wife that he wants because it will make me feel caged .My hubby and i are polar opposites i am free spirited / open minded/love to have fun.My hubby is conservative , uptight,and he used to like to have fun.I want to travel he would prefer not to leave the state ever!He was fun before we got married now he is this coservative christian about everything?I am catholic but not overly so i play by my own rules thanks . He wants to force me to go too church as if he were my parent?

I feel tied down and my feels hat little left are fading fast.He does not listen to me saying i just have not settled down into married life?

none off this came up till after we were married!

Answer 1

opposites attract.
Meet somewhere in the middle.
Good Luck

Answer 2

I'm really surprised that none of this came up before you were married. You must have really loved him at some point to have married him in the first place. My answer to you is to be honest with him and quickly it's not fair to keep something this big and not share your feelings with him. You never know maybe the pressure your feeling will ease and our relationship will improve again if you tell him you would rather pursue a career at this time. It's very expensive to raise children these days and you would both be better off waiting until you have a career under your belt before having children, just don't allow yourself to be pressured into having children if your not ready. Your children would suffer the most from it and you need to explain that to him as well. Honesty is the best way to go with the situation your in. Was he always so conservative or does he just thnk he needs to be because he wants children so badly now. Have the talk maybe you can work out a plan and he may lighten up. It's up to you to be honest. It's a hard thing to do but in your heart you know it's the right thing to do I really wish you all the best. Good luck to both of you.

Answer 3

Sounds like before you were married he was okay with you having a career and not going to church so often, but since then he's been brain washed by some church of sexism and lies! Well, if he insists on being religious, take him to a church that is a little less controlling and more open to the fact that women are people. Stay on the pill. You can choose not to tell your husband (although that might be bad advice), but that way you can just pretend you're having fertility problems. Hhehehehe! Really though, don't give up your career because some brain washed manly man wants you to stay at home pop out his kids and never leave the house.

Answer 4

I too am married, and I will tell you that EVERYONE said the first year of marriage is your hardest. Well we have been married over two years now and I still feel a bit of the pinch however I know you have to find a compromise. I believe you give it your all until you have nothing left, that way you know you have tried. Your ideas of not being indoors but having a career should have been explored and talked about before your husband asked for your hand in marriage, so now more then ever I think he should respect your wishes and your faith. Trying talking and talking and more talking. Good Luck

Answer 5

You really should wait until your issues are settled before children are born. Even though he may really want children it is always better if they are wanted by both parents. You got married to someone who it seems you really did not know. You must ask yourself if you love him. You should also really sit down and talk to him about these issues. Do this until the issues are resolved. If you feel he is not willing to compromise, or if you are not willing to compromise on a certain issue, try marriage counseling. If this does not work and you still love him, you'll have to decide how much you love him. Is your love for him enough to sacrifice your happiness?

Answer 6

I'm not going to yell at you like other people & tell you that you should've thought about these things before you got married BECAUSE I am relate.

If you are really feeling this way & do not want to be married to him anymore, you need to sit down & talk to him. You need to figure out if leaving is really what you want to do, and do it.

I am struggling with leaving my marriage right now too and can understand how difficult it is to do.

Answer 7

I cannot decide for you if you want to continue your marriage or not. Like you said you are both Polar opposites and you both desire different lifestyles. It also sounds like he wants to rush into having kids, which you are not ready for, and if he cannot understand that, then you might need to reconsider the relationship. He cannot force you into anything you are not ready to do or (for the church) can he not force you to go. you may have been ready to get married, so you need to talk it out with him and let him know how you feel.

Answer 8

Well he's controling too. Guess if marriage couseling doesn't work , well guess it's time to pack up and go not unless you and him can come to a compromise. SO sit down with him and have a talk about how you and him feel, the differences both of you have and what can be done about it. If nothing happens well tell him ALOHA

Answer 9

oh dear what a problem i suggest you sit down and have a talk and make sure he is listening and i mean listening do not let him inyterupt you, make you feel stupid or ignore you all these issues you bring up are way too serious. remind him of how none of these issues were issues before you were married mayby he thought once you married he had you and the right to make all the decsisions make sure you remind him of your individuality and if this does not get resolved you will have to seperate for awile. be true to yourself always.

Answer 10

These are things you should have talked about in length before you walked down the aisle.

Brides are so into the ring & the dress & the colors & the pictures everybody forgets this is a marriage and not a wedding.

If you want to try and save your marriage I suggest you both get into marriage counseling.

If you don't want to save it get out now before you bring innocent children into this situation.

Answer 11

Sweetie I'm sorry it looks like things are over between you. You want such opposite things I don't see how you can meet in the middle. You are both heading in opposite directions. Don't give in and have a baby you'll resent. I think it's time to go. Good luck.