If you caught........?

Question

your daughter's boyfriend sneaking out of your house would you ground your daughter or tell her not to talk to her boyfriend anymore.They have been going out for 2 years and love each other

If you tell her not to talk to him anymore, do you think she would listen?

they are both 16

Answer 1

no she probably wouldn't listen but you could take other priviledges away in order to make your point clear..there is nothing wrong with parents having clearn rules and the need for discipline to get your point across

Answer 2

Maybe you should talk to BOTH of them and set some ground rules that MUST be followed. Maybe get his parents involved, too. Do you know if the sneaking around has been going on for TWO YEARS? If so, then maybe some work on the communication skills between you and your daughter is called for.

She probably won't listen if you tell her not to talk to him anymore. After all, how can you "police" her 24/7?

Since he's a young guy, he probably thinks the sneaking around is cool and fun and adds to the excitement. Maybe your daughter
feels the same way, but you might ask her if she is ashamed of the way she feels and that's why she is being sneaky. Sixteen is AWFULLY young and such an emotional age.

Is there someone "neutral" that you both trust that she could talk to about this situation?

Good luck.

Answer 3

this is coming from somebody probably like your daughter if you told her not to see her boyfriend anymore she'd probably be very mad at you for the rest of her life and most likely wouldn't listen to you even if you said not to. Maybe try sitting down and talking to her and explaining that you've seen her boyfriend sneaking out of the house and tell her that he's allowed to come over as long as you know he's coming over .

Answer 4

Parents have been fighting this battle, and kids have been winning this battle, for years. Everyone gets mad at each other, no one talks. The children move far away and the parents are left alone.

You need to establish kindness between you and your daughter, and her boyfriend. And get her tested for diseases. Take the time to talk and explain to her the good, and bad things, about life. Be the rudder in her ship. Don't let her flail about trying to figure out things you already know!!

Answer 5

Well, that really depends. Depends on how my daughter would be, on how her boyfriend would be, on the circumstances etc.

I would get really upset for not telling me about her relationship and I would feel like I need to improve our communication, but I wouldn't punish her. I wouldn't stop her from seeing her boyfriend unless I would be sure that being with him can result in something dangerous or negative for her. But if they really love each other and he's right for her, I would let them continue their relationship. The only thing I would do would be to let her know that the fact that she didn't talk to me about her relationship upset me, and in this way she will change her behaviour.

'If you tell her not to talk to him anymore, do you think she would listen?'

Seeing as every person is different, this highly depends on her personality and on your level of authority as well. But most teens refuse to obey when you try to restrain them so abruptly, so harshly. Not talking to him all of a sudden could seem a bit too abrupt and sever to her and she would most likely not listen to your wish. But one way you could make her understand and pay more attention to your advice is to let her do what she wants to do, let her free, and at the same time to show her that you are really upset. In this way, she will be puzzled by the sudden change in your behaviour, she will be surprised by your sudden decision to give her more freedom. When she'll see that you don't punish her and that you actually give her more freedom despite her actions, she will start thinking about it and realize that she actually deserves to be punished and she will acknowledge her fault even if not openly. It's a technique that involves opposites, and it works in most cases.

So by maintaining a cold attitude towards her while showing generosity by giving her more freedom will make her feel guilty, and seeing that your relationship with her is gradually falling apart will motivate her to seek your attention and get closer to you while acknowledging the fact that she was wrong.

Answer 6

if this is the girls first time give her a waning and talk to her from the heart about things she can and cant do she'll listen but if u tell her she cant see him anymore she wont because she loves him. the most i would do is ground her for a little bit if that but i would probly just talk to her first. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 7

She would not listen. The more you tell her not to see him or talk to him, she will anyway....behind your back.
Talk to her about the relationship....does he treat her good? Do you like him? etc., birth control might be a good topic if you suspect they are sleeping together. Also, tell her you will not tolerate her boyfriend sneaking in and out, if she wants respect then she needs to show you the same courtesy.

Answer 8

I would ground her !!
there is no need to say she can not see him or talk to him because she will find a way !!
no she would not listen...they think they are in love..that is a very power full emotion for that age especially
hope this helps

Answer 9

love the teens lol iv had 4 of them it depends if it was at night or day he was sneaking, you have to set boundaries and sit down with the boyfriend and your daughter and talk about it

Answer 10

I'd ground her, even if she'll say she'll be mad at you forever or says that she hates you. Isn't it strange for her boyfriend to sneak out when you know what's going on with them anyways?

And, no, she wouldn't listen, she'd be rebellious and not do what you say.