We have fallen into the parent/work trap.
2007-01-10 12:22:53 · 21 answers · asked by Akida 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to go back to basics. Go on dates: REAL dates. Find a babysitter for the kids and go out to dinner and a movie, etc. Try to have a "date night" at least once a month. Try to take a weekend away together ("away" can really just be staying at a hotel 20 miles away and spending all day at the pool). Do you remember the things you used to do when you first started dating?? Try doing those things again. Obviously it's different now that you're married with kids, but spending quality alone time together outside of the house will do wonders. Valentine's Day is coming up: you two should plan something extra special. Good luck!
2007-01-10 12:30:05 · answer #1 · answered by Eve 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you used to do when you first got together. Make some time each week to spend together without the kids, either get a babysitter, leave them with a family member or maybe do something on your lunch break. Go on dates, for a nice meal, to the cinema, do daft things like ice skating or bowling. Make little gestures in your everyday life, like when you go shopping bring him back a little present, or maybe surprise him at work with a picnic lunch one day, give each other massages, go for walks, just spend quality time with each other. With Valentine's Day coming up, think about a special present that takes you back to the start of your relationship when you didn't have other responsibilities to try and rekindle that romance, or maybe go for a weekend away. Be spontaneous, however small a gesture you can fit into your day will help. Why not take up dancing lessons together, a lot of bars do once a month salsa nights which might fit around your lifestyle better than weekly classes.
2007-01-10 12:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by boop a doop 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People say take some time each week but with children that might be asking for too much at first.
Why not set aside 2 nights a month to go out to dinner and then if financially possible a night in a nice hotel.
Not so much for the sex but for the closeness, the talking, the making yourselves "pretty". Just laughing and being silly together is important.
It's hard not to talk about the children and the bills and all the other stuff...but when you catch yourselves doing that...bring the subject back to the two of you.
Children need good role models so that when they get married they'll have a clue....good luck.
2007-01-10 12:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A. you need a short weekend vacation for just the two of you...Something cheap and near by...
B. Find a baby sitter (this is a good time to get grandparents to help out) Something like a little camping trip or maybe just go check out a fancy hotel in town and rent some "movies" whatever strikes your fancy and pack up and go! You know the rest of the way.
C. Don't forget if your family complains about having the kids all the time, Just tell the truth...you two need to get away together once in a blue moon or they will be raising the kids!
D. Trust me...family WILL understand...they've all been there before!
2007-01-10 12:32:40 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By re-introducing the unexpected.
Relationships, in the begining, are generally full of romance and allure. That generally comes from not knowing your new partner very well, and just about everything is a pleasant surprise. It's unexpected! After years together, you learn all those things about them, which leads to expectations... which becomes boring routine.
You, and he, will have to go out of your way to think up new things to do and try.
After 8+ years with my husband, he randomly will bring home flowers, of even have them delivered- while he is home with me! It's all about doing 'little' things for your spouse. Like leaving little sticky notes for eachother, or text messages that are endering.
Not the daily things that need to be done, but going out of your way for somthing special. That special something can be SO simple and small, but it's that it's sweet and unexpected thing that then becomes so easily romantic.
I can't really advise specific things, as everyone responds differently. Sometimes it's taking some time out to do something special, like going away for a weekend, a suprise dinner date, getting a cute little gift- just because.
But things don't have to be about money either.
There are plenty of things that you can do at home. Just last weekend my husband and I had a lazy Saturday, with a big bubble bath with champane before breakfast- something we have NEVER done before, so it became special and romantic.
I believe there's a book called A THOUSAND NIGHTS OF ROMANCE that has ideas and suggestions for this very notion. Give it a try.
2007-01-10 12:45:32 · answer #5 · answered by Bearess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well plan a nice weekend get away. Take as little as possible and go there to rekindle the flame. Also dress up sexy is good. Need for him to come home from work and see his wife in a nightie with a sign around her neck, saying, coffee, tea or me. But romance that takes time from rtomantic places, for dinner, dancing, go out for a walk making out and holding hands and count the stars. But it all needs to be a mutual thing because he also need to be romantic to you too. Want more Ideas IM me anytime.
2007-01-10 12:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sedosoa is right kissing is the most romantic way of showing someone how you feel it is free can be done anywhere even in front of the kids says a thousands things and touches our hearts and maybe some other places. I have to say we should all do more of it.You can be romantic anytime and you don't have to get rid of the kids they so love to see their parents happy and good quality family time is important to a couple and helps to show the love you have built which is so romantic
2007-01-10 12:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by tink 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well if you are a female - withhold sex for it - and I bet you anything you will get it ;)
if you are a guy and your looking for romance - chances are you are gay - just kidding ;)
Seriously, the fact that you are looking for it is a good sign - perhaps you can plan a few day getaway and make sure the kids are with someone that you will not have to worry about at all - like a grandparent or reliable relative.
2007-01-10 12:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by John P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take some us time away from the Normal life together. Make and date or a week end away and act like you did when you had first meet.
Turn on the charm and have fun.
Good Luck
2007-01-10 12:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do sweet little things on daily bases like stick a sweet little note in his work jacket, or make sure the kids have eaten before he gets in and you and have a candle lit dinner, run him a bath wash is back, maybe a massage, talk about old times, when you met, get him thinking about them sparks watch him smile
2007-01-10 12:33:15 · answer #10 · answered by im2jaded04 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋