When will I ever get over my shyness?

Question

Ever since I could remember I've been REALLY shy! I've always been known as the "quiet girl." But anyways Im about 2 be 20 this month and I just dont know how ti get over this. People tell me to change but its not as easy as it looks. I believe that because Im shy it has prevented me from getting a boyfriend too. (YEah Ive never had one."Also when a guy really likes me I tend to avoid him and he moves on thinking I am not interested in him. My shyness is actually the main reason why I am majoring in psychology which is ironic lol Im only a sophomore in college and I wanna know for the more experienced people how do I get over it? WHats your advice?

Answer 1

I can totally relate to this - I was always the shy one and had a hard time making friends (especially in high school when we moved to a new place). But for some reason one day I decided to go bungee jumping and I did it! It gave me the confidence I needed and according to my mom "I came out of my shell". Now I am not saying you should do this but I think being able to conquer a fear really helps. Why not try talking back to a guy who is talking to you? If this is a fear and you can try it once I am sure you will gain a little more confidence. Most guys approach you when they like you - this makes it even easier to say hello or keep the conversation going. So why not just try to stay put and talk a bit (even if for only a little time). I think once you try it - and realize it wasn't so bad - you will be on your way! Just keep telling yourself that you are a great person and that this guy wants to talk to you... once you get a good conversation going you will not want it to end. Good luck, I have been there!

Answer 2

I'm going to make a simple suggestion. Get a job at a convenience store. Now you are asking, what are you talking about. This is not for the $$. This is for the exposure. Working at a convenience store, you have to talk to strangers. That will get you used to it and help you to relax. there are risks with the job, but get a shift that is during the daytime (schedule your classes at night/evening) and you will be talking to people. Just remember, everyone was shy once.

Step two: look at yourself in the mirror. you are a young lady and people, guys especially, want to talk to you. let them approach you and start the conversation. Just reply to what they say and you will begin to feel more confident.

Finally, for one of your electives, take a public speaking class. You will be nervous getting up there, but once you realize that there is nothing to be afraid of, because they will not attack you while you are talking, you will loose your shyness.

B-Cool

oh, and whatever you do, don't think that alcohol will help. It will make things worse.

Answer 3

Oh boy, do I understand this problem. I'm about to be 23 and still suffer from this. However, I have found things that have helepd me to be better than I was. First off, I made some friends who were definetly not shy. They put me in situations where it was harder to be shy. What really helped me (A fellow psych major here) was to start dissassociating from myself in soical situations a bit. Take a step back from yourself, and think of how you would like to react in situations. Don't think of yourself as being the person doing it. Almost become an actress. I did this, and now it is easier for me to react in social situations, as it has become easier and more natural. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

Answer 4

Yes. When my husband invitations any one over, I think like my house is being invaded. I get particularly fearful, and likewise get mad at my partner. The strain of stressful approximately touch with individuals I have no idea good particularly wears me out. I were shy seeing that I used to be born round individuals I have no idea. I can act functionally in a industry surroundings on the grounds that I must. When I used to possess my possess industry, I had day-to-day touch with enormous quantities of individuals, but if I used to be at residence, I honestly fantasized approximately a plague wiping out such a lot of our populace, and that external my condominium the sector used to be most of the time unpopulated. That I might go away my condominium, and now not run into ANYONE. That used to be my get away from an overly public, disturbing activity. I adored that daydream....and nonetheless do....

Answer 5

To shoot or be shot. Take a go at not being shy and start talking to people. I went to a school where i knew absoloutely no one. I was shy, but like i said, to shoot or be shot. You have two legs, so use them.

Answer 6

Wow...its like looking into a mirror. Growing up, I was really quiet. Partially, I blame my military background, having to move every few months. After awhile, I didn't want to get close to anyone because I knew I would have to move. I was also afraid of being rejected and looking like a fool. During school, my parents were always told during parent-teacher conferences, "She's very smart, but she's very quiet and doesn't participate in class." In high school, I was voted "Shyest" in our senior superlatives....not exactly "Most Likely to Succeed." I was terrified to talk to people. I rehearsed what I would say, played worst case scenarios in my head, and my heart pounded when I approached anyone or spoke up. People told me I needed to "get over it," but it wasn't something I could snap out of. I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 17 and my relationships never lasted because I was so dependent and passive, the guys actually got annoyed and dumped me. (Although, in hindsight, it worked out for the best because they were BAD relationships) I then went to college, majoring in psychology. I majored in psychology to learn more about people, not to learn what was wrong with me (contrary to popular belief). I gradually grew out of my shyness, mostly out of necessity. While working in retail, you kind of have to be outgoing. Then, when I started working in an adolescent group home, I found that my introversion turned me into prey and found that I needed to learn how to speak up and stand up for myself to get any respect.
I still find myself crawling into my shell. Like, at a party, I prefer to be alone in the corner than mingle in the crowd. I like people watching and thinking. Its in my nature. And every now and then, I catch myself restraining myself socially and I do a lot of self-talk. My favorite question is, "What's the worst that could happen?" For example, in high school, I asked out 2 guys and I was rejected. It hurt, but in the end, I survived and I learned something out of it. Another thing that runs through my mind is, "Will I see this person again, so will it matter if I make a total fool of myself?" Last week, I actually got into a short verbal altercation on the subway with a woman who was yelling about throwing a Metro official onto the tracks after a delay. My argument was that her violent threats would only exacerbate the problem and does nothing to solve the delay or get her home on time. Her argument was "I don't care. His death would make me feel better." I learned another thing......pick your battles and she was not worth my efforts. While I argued with this woman, I shook like a leaf and I was terrified, socially, but I realized, that out of the millions in the metropolitain area, the odds of me running into this psychotic woman again were slim.
If this advice doesn't help, therapy and medication has been proven to be very effective with social anxiety.

Answer 7

try opening up to guyz u feel comfortable with